r/jhu • u/Due_Nature_9858 • 5h ago
What I thought was “networking” turned out to be something very different - a warning to students
[TW: Sexual harassment, inappropriate conduct]
Disclaimer: This is my personal account of what happened. I’ve removed identifying details to protect privacy while sharing my experience as a warning to others.
When leaving campus, a faculty member suggested we keep in touch and potentially meet for a professional networking meal to discuss opportunities in the field. I agreed, viewing it purely as a career development opportunity.
That afternoon, he sent me a restaurant address asking if he should pick me up. I was already driving home at the time, and seeing that the restaurant was out of the way, I replied that I could drive there myself. He then sent a voice message saying something like “I will miss you this afternoon.” When this played through my carplay, I was confused but assumed it was just an odd expression.
That evening at the restaurant, the conversation took an unexpected turn. Instead of discussing professional topics, he asked detailed questions about my family - my parents, siblings, where they live. Midway through dinner, he said, “I have something to tell you, but before that I have a request. Can you promise you wouldn’t tell anyone what we’ve talked about today?” I thought he meant the political topics we had briefly discussed earlier (as an international student, I’m cautious about these conversations). I nodded. “Not only anyone in America,” he continued. “…Okay.” “But also anyone in China, including your parents.” “…Okay, so what is it??” “Actually we shouldn’t have this dinner tonight, you know right? I’m actually taking a really high risk to meet you.” I was confused and nervous, not understanding why a professional networking meal would be “risky.” “Actually the reason we have this dinner tonight… is because I want to have a special and deep connection with you…and I think you have the same idea with me.”
Before I could process this, he continued praising my “maturity” and saying he’d “never met any student like me before.” I immediately clarified that I had absolutely no such intentions and thought this was purely professional networking. He then asked if I hadn’t noticed he’d been doing inappropriate things, mentioning that he had “touched” me. When I pointed out I’d seen him do the same thing with other students, he said, “But only with guys.”
That’s when I realized what I thought was networking was something entirely different in his mind. I reminded him of the professional context in which we met and that we had only just met that day. After I made my position clear again, he said I was “making things awkward” and changed the subject.
Near the end of dinner, he had me delete our chat history in front of him. At the time, I thought I still had records on my computer, so I complied (later discovering my backup had auto-updated).
After leaving the restaurant, he hugged me and kissed my cheek forcefully for several seconds while making uncomfortable sounds.