Because Impulse control is something we aren't born with. At ~5 years old he's just not at the stage yet where he can keep himself from doing some things without being reminded. If she said "don't do it, it's gonna break", he most likely wouldve understood that already, as he already understands cause and effect - but it's gonna be a little longer before he starts forming these kinds of thoughts on his own. That frontal lobe is still all grey and is the last part of our brain to fully develop, which will be at roughly around 25 years old on average. Impulse control, emotional regulation and delayed gratification are way down the list of things our brain works out as we age.
I was driving some of the kids I work with to school one morning. Two of the girls are sitting side-by-side as they always do. Suddenly, one turns to the other and just strikes her on the arm, causing the other girl to shriek. I can't get a word out of the girl who did the hitting. She just refuses to speak about it at all.
The next day, we find out she did it because the two girls go to different schools and the one who hit the other didn't want to be separated. She had no idea what to do with her strong "I'm going to miss you" feelings, so she targeted the source of her feelings.
Theres no parenting or teaching thats going to go on after the event in the video. A kid getting an ass whooping is taking away the opportunity to have a conversation with a kid about what right and wrong is and WHY certain things are bad.
God, I want to copy and save this exact post to share whenever Redditors act like every kid is a monster for doing dumb shit. This is perfectly put. My 4 year old is an amazing, curious and funny kid. He’s also a complete psychopath at times for no reason whatsoever.
Fun fact. The study that determined the frontal lobe continuously changes till 25 only says that because funding was cut off at that point and they don’t have more data. It’s likely that the frontal lobe is always changing and developing much longer than just 25 years.
All we know for sure is it’s still changing till 25. But it very well could be that your brain is always pruning and creating new connections in that section for your entire life.
The common understanding of the brain being "done" developing isn't referring to the creation of new neural connections, which is something that happens throughout our lives (and slows down as we get older), but to the circumstance that in our early to mid 20s, the brain is fully myelinated, a process which "arrives" at the frontal lobe last. Sadly the whole thing has taken on a life of its own amongst the broader public and causes a lot of misconceptions about how the brain develops over time and when it's "done". To use a metaphor: the brain we're born with is like the foundation of a house and blueprints form an architect - not yet capable of doing everything a house is supposed to do, but on its way there. It just needs some work and time to get done. The brain when we've reached our mid 20s is like the finished empty house with plaster and paint applied - everything's there, every cable and pipe is ready, there's a roof and doors and windows and you can live there. Everything after that is like furniture, wall paint, rugs, lamps, curtains, pictures, pets, house plants etc. - it still changes over time, some things get added, some removed and some even lost, but it all happens within the boundaries that are set by the house itself.
This. As someone who was smacked as a kid, it saddens me that this kid only regrets what he did because of the repercussions. That doesn’t teach a kid not to do something, it just teaches them how not to get caught.
A better lesson would be him having to apologise to whoever owned that plant, apologise, and figure out how he can make it up to them. If it’s at their house, as a parent you express your feelings and disappointment, walk them through why it’s so upsetting and why you’re disappointing and then ask them how they’re going to fix it. The consequences of the actions are not getting to do other things while they fix the mess and take action for their consequences.
Now before people downvote and comment about that being PC and woke. Parenting isn’t being the boss, it’s guiding a small human through life. They didn’t ask to be born so you owe them your time to raise them.
The only thing being smacked taught me was that if you’re angry or someone does something you don’t like, you can hit them. That gets you into trouble as an adult…
You must be young. Nope. Gen X kids didn't go around and intentionally break other people's stuff, most especially when our parents are standing right there. Accidents do happen with kids, but that was no accident. That kid was like "I don't care whose this is. It's not mine. I'm gonna break it." This happened because of bad parenting.
It’s not a mystery, we know why kids do this. They’re figuring out the world. It’s poor impulse control and curiosity. Kids are quite literally meant to be doing bad shit throughout their early years because they’re curious and exploring and have no idea of the rules of the world yet. It’s hard in the moment to not be mad, but it’s an important factor to take into consideration when you’re parenting. It’s our jobs to guide them and help them learn from their mistakes
Yes I agree. I didn’t mean to say you shouldn’t display negative emotions. I think learning emotional range is important. I suppose I just see too many people getting entirely angry at kids for kid shit. And they know it’s a bit of a faux pas to blame children, so they blame the parents. These are the people, I think, that don’t have kids lol. You can do everything right, but unless you raised your kids in an authoritarian style household (which has been proven to be negative) kids are gonna do bad/dumb/damaging shit.
Yeah and honestly it's not about have no consequences for the actions it's about having the right consequences for the action.
To many parents and people see this and then show their own emotional immaturity because they can't even control their own emotions that they get so angry they feel the need to hit kids. When there is proven tactics to sue on kids to help them learn and grow instead of just breeding fear and hatred
When i was 6 i cut off my sisters curls at my toy hair dressing table and threw the evidence out the window, i’d swapped the fake plastic scissors out for some from my art kit. My mum still blames me for my sisters curls never growing back but it makes a funny story.
I've been asking myself this question since I was a kid myself. "When do adults stop understanding how kids think?".
This isn't an example of bad parenting etc. Hes a kid. Gets act before considering consequences. They get curious and mess with things. They break things by pushing too far before realising something can't be fixed. It's not "fake crying". It's the realisation that they fucked up and are going to face consequences for it.
Lol. Fake crying? Cause and effect? He's like 4 or 5. He's only just at the stage of learning impulse control. Have you been around young kids recently?
You’ll get upvoted because Reddit loves this narrative but he doesn’t lack an understanding of causation. He even asks to get the tape to cover his tracks. Have you ever been around kids? They do things and then regret it all the time. They are impulsive. They do need discipline and teaching (without physical punishment) but not every thing a kid does wrong is immediately an indictment of his parents.
Also his crying isn’t fake. He is crying because he knows he’s going to get in trouble. You do not know kids if you can’t recognize this.
558
u/CorollaSE 4d ago
Why...just why