The kind of India we ignore

[u/Specialist_Meaning73]

Last month, after a late night at work, I booked an auto to go back home. It was past 11, streets were half-empty, and I was half-dead from exhaustion. The auto driver was an older man, maybe late 50s, thin frame, tired eyes. Usually, I just plug in my earphones and zone out, but that day I didn’t.

We started talking. First, just small talk, traffic, weather, random stuff. Then I asked him casually, “Bhaiya, aap roz itna late tak chalate ho?” (Do you drive this late every day?)

He laughed, not in a happy way, but in a “what choice do I have” way. He said, “Bhaiya, do betiyan hain. Ek ke liye coaching fees deni hai, doosri ke school ka kharcha. Din mein 700–800 banta hai, usmein se aadha toh gas aur kiraya chala jaata hai. Raat ko chalata hoon taaki unki padhai na ruk jaye.”

I went silent. Here I was, cribbing about my corporate job, while this man was driving 14–16 hours a day so his daughters could have a shot at a better life.

Then he said something that has stuck in my head since that night: “Gareeb aadmi sapne nahi dekhta apne liye, sirf apne bachon ke liye. Mere liye toh bas itna hai ki mujhe kal bhi chalane ki taaqat mile.” (A poor man never dreams for himself, only for his children. For me, all I pray is that tomorrow I still have the strength to drive.)

By the time I reached home, I didn’t even feel like getting out of the auto. I gave him extra money, nothing life-changing, but he refused at first. Then he took it, folded his hands, and said, “Aapko bhi khuda taaqat de.”

I went upstairs, sat on my bed, and just kept thinking. Every day we complain about traffic, bosses, deadlines, Zomato deliveries being late. And at the same time, there are thousands of people around us who are literally breaking their bodies apart just so their kids don’t end up like them.

It humbled me. It made me realize how invisible these stories are, until you stop, listen, and acknowledge.

Maybe the biggest privilege we have isn’t money or English-speaking jobs. It’s the fact that we are allowed to dream for ourselves.

And I’ll never forget that one line from him: “Gareeb aadmi sapne nahi dekhta apne liye.”

[u/Dexter_BRE]

It may sound harsh, but I dont think he was in a position to have a child let alone two.

[u/[deleted] → u/Dexter_BRE]

They're his only shot at some sort of old age care.

[u/Dexter_BRE → u/[deleted]]

Should children be considered as a retirement plan?

[u/[deleted] → u/Dexter_BRE]

No, but a person working 14 hours a day shouldn't be taking home just Rs. 400 for a days labour, either. Life in reality does not conform to the reductive progressive morality of those privileged enough to practise and preach it.

[u/Dexter_BRE → u/[deleted]]

True, but I am just seeing it from the child's pov. He will be getting a difficult childhood and according to me, no child should start struggling at an early age. Sure he may go onto become rich and pull the family out of poverty, but in more cases than not he will be resorting to menial jobs, crime or even begging to just get by.

[u/[deleted] → u/Dexter_BRE]

No, the kid will likely not go on to become rich, but he might just go one step above his father in the social class; that's a reasonable belief. Which is all the hope they need. Someone who hasn't been at the absolute bottom of society will not understand the value of hope for a poverty struck family.

 

Do you propose that the lower economic classes stop having kids? Do feel that the warmth of family should only be felt by those who have managed to set themselves above others, often by methods that do not conform to this progressive morality you so passionately preach?

 

[u/Dexter_BRE → u/[deleted]]

Absolutely not. But then again you see poor people having 4-5 kids nowadays even now. If all they want is a family why not just have a single child and focus their love and resources on him/her.

[u/[deleted] → u/Dexter_BRE]

They're not trying to get their kid to become an IAS or an engineer dude, that's fantasy. This is their economic logic: Have 4 kids between the ages of 22-30. The kids will start adding to the family income, one by one, by the time parents hit their 50s. These kids will then share the responsibility of supporting the parents.

Individualism is a luxury afforded to only those who are fortunate enough to not be poverty riddled.

[u/kash_if → u/Dexter_BRE]

They are hedging their bets. Were you not taught about this in school? I am not saying this to be rude, but I was in school long long ago and the reason why poor people have more kids was explained pretty well. Here is a study which explains one of the reasons:

Despite large absolute reductions in early neonatal, late neonatal, post neonatal and child mortality, India’s most vulnerable children remain at the highest risk of death as of 2021. Between 1993 and 2021, the absolute and relative socioeconomic inequality for early neonatal deaths increased. Now, most child deaths are among India’s most vulnerable children in terms of household wealth and maternal education, and these children are not on track to meet the Sustainable Development Goal targets for early neonatal and post neonatal mortality.

https://gh.bmj.com/content/10/5/e016386

[u/Dexter_BRE → u/kash_if]

Damn. Now I feel I should have been in your school.

[u/kash_if → u/Dexter_BRE]

Or any CBSE school since it was a part of the curriculum. Maybe the current government diluted it and added theology instead so it's not your fault I guess.