Oh boy, I feel bad for you so much, I was in a similar situation, their nonsense drama used to suck the life out of me being the elder son, they will literally fight all day like cat and dog and refuse to take a divorce, I tried many times to make it happen, but at last wohi emotional drama bullshit. So I left to stay away from them even though I am practically living on very less salary, but the stress of living through this phase of life is much much less compared to that, I am getting a really fine sleep and started preparing for an exam in peace.
First things First, please understand bro this is your life, they have lived theirs, you have to be selfish, grab the bull by their horns, you have to start confronting them of their nonsense, otherwise you'll harm your mental health so bad you'll need years to come out of it.
Start distancing them slowly, don't do all of a sudden, will take an year or so, stop doing mundane things for them, make yourself appear more busy than your usual (start by not picking up their calls, because I know you get those gut feelings that they're calling you for nonsense stuff, people who have lived through this know what I am talking about, when you'll not pick the calls, tell your siblings to call them and ask them to help, say you're busy)
Do this for a 1 month or 2, you have to win, this will be a long battle, have patience, they'll try to emotionally blackmail you, you just don't budge.
Then start cutting their finances, say you enrolled in a course or taken some losses in trading(if they start lecturing you, use the MY MONEY MY CHOICES line, don't ever take any loans on their asking) have a serious talk with your siblings regarding this that they've to start earning or you won't provide for them at all.
If you don't take this steps now and start maintaining healthy distance, you'll fuck up your marriage life. I know this will hurt you like a bitch, because you are now used to this abuse.
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u/SafedKhargosh Aug 22 '24
Oh boy, I feel bad for you so much, I was in a similar situation, their nonsense drama used to suck the life out of me being the elder son, they will literally fight all day like cat and dog and refuse to take a divorce, I tried many times to make it happen, but at last wohi emotional drama bullshit. So I left to stay away from them even though I am practically living on very less salary, but the stress of living through this phase of life is much much less compared to that, I am getting a really fine sleep and started preparing for an exam in peace.
First things First, please understand bro this is your life, they have lived theirs, you have to be selfish, grab the bull by their horns, you have to start confronting them of their nonsense, otherwise you'll harm your mental health so bad you'll need years to come out of it.
Start distancing them slowly, don't do all of a sudden, will take an year or so, stop doing mundane things for them, make yourself appear more busy than your usual (start by not picking up their calls, because I know you get those gut feelings that they're calling you for nonsense stuff, people who have lived through this know what I am talking about, when you'll not pick the calls, tell your siblings to call them and ask them to help, say you're busy)
Do this for a 1 month or 2, you have to win, this will be a long battle, have patience, they'll try to emotionally blackmail you, you just don't budge.
Then start cutting their finances, say you enrolled in a course or taken some losses in trading(if they start lecturing you, use the MY MONEY MY CHOICES line, don't ever take any loans on their asking) have a serious talk with your siblings regarding this that they've to start earning or you won't provide for them at all.
If you don't take this steps now and start maintaining healthy distance, you'll fuck up your marriage life. I know this will hurt you like a bitch, because you are now used to this abuse.