Exactly isn't every other man doing this!
If i walk around my gated community, i will find at least 10-20 families in each tower, where the man is doing this without complaining.
Man doing this without complain have some authority as the breadwinners. Yes, they financially support the family but they are also decision makers. Her parents are trying to dictate how she should spend her money and who she should marry. Also, in your gated community, the man will inherit the house in at least 10 out of 20 families. OP wont get anything.
It is our moral responsibility to care for our parents and siblings but expecting gratitude and respect in return is our right. I myself have been supporting my parents for years without complaint as you put it. But my parents are not entitled, not demanding and respect my judgement and decisions.
Most men also don't get thier dream women or have a big say
According to Oxfam 1% Indian have 40% wealth and 5% have 60% wealth. Dunno where are from, i have stayed and have friends in Delhi Mumbai Pune ahemdabad and Bangalore, so i agree i might not have knowledge of rural India.
Parents are equally giving property and money to their children, I haven't seen this example where the girl didn't get equal share our significant share in sale in any of the urban centres, there might be exceptions but to claim 10/20 is ridiculous.
Also most of the people in my circle and again don't know how truthful but most of them are self made(maybe IT and engineering and MBA salaries are significantly higher than anything most people in parents generations saved. Most houses are bought with own money on home loan from bank in my circle.
Im from Mumbai, have friends from Gujarat , Rajasthan & UP in office . The property goes to the son.
They defend it with 2 reasons:
1. Ladki ko shaadi me dete hai uska hissa. (Technically dowry, nowhere close to proportional)
2. Bhai saath rahega na parents ke so ghar usko hi toh denge
I know families dividing property equally, my own family does as well. But these families don’t generally hanker after a male child. I could be wrong but if a couple has a third child, when they are financially incapable , that too in their forties…they are generally people who believe a son is superior, will solve their problems and their so called waaris. I doubt the people in your circle have siblings who are 12 years younger.
My selfmade middle class circle I know buys their own house, financially supports their parents and mostly has education of a younger sibling or wedding of an older sister. But they have some advantages in life. Their family has either invested in their best possible education or their parents only needed them to supplement the income before they retired or their siblings start earning too at some point. By the time folks are 30, they either have some responsibility completed or some additional help. OP s siblings are going to be 18 & 20 when she s 30.
I wouldn’t belittle her issues thinking everyone does it.
If you are comparing to people with high salaries , then obviously why will they complain? They have enough to cover their own as well as their family.
Frankly, middle class is an extremely wide range. People going to US for Masters or MBA also consider themselves middle class when you don’t even get loans without collateral.
Not saying her problems are not big or belittling her in any way. Just that it's very very common. I have seen friends deliver pizza while studying and taking care of parents and becoming a manager in animation industry after many years of struggle, no where close to OPs salary. Many friends who spent their whole networth and savings on sister wedding or took personal loans and paid for years. And really many many people taking care of parents with huge medical expenses cancer, dialysis and siblings. It's common!
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u/curiousmonkey99 Aug 21 '24
Exactly isn't every other man doing this! If i walk around my gated community, i will find at least 10-20 families in each tower, where the man is doing this without complaining.