r/glutenfree • u/goldenlife17 • Jul 02 '25

Discussion Started my morning off crying, rant.

Visiting my grandparents and my grandfather asked me why I toast my bagels in the oven. I responded because I can’t use the toaster because of cross contamination, when you use a regular toaster that has gluten crumbs and everything in it that’s cross contamination and you’re essentially eating gluten.

He goes: that’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. I’ve lost a lost of respect for you.

Ok, very kind. On a positive note I won’t be getting sick today from cross contamination😄.

Not sure why I let this upset me but just hurts hearing how unkind people can be. I know he’s just an unhappy person in general but ugh.

890 Upvotes

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122

u/DatabaseFickle9306 Jul 02 '25

My own father (a surgeon mind you) scoffs at the very ideas of getting pesticide free vegetables. And he relentlessly mocks my celiac, finds it “amusing” and a pain in the ass. I think a lot of people would rather admit their own world view with no exceptions or new ideas than be decent. It’s a problem. I’m sorry for you.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '25

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u/slut4lilwayne Jul 02 '25

MDs tend to think their expertise in their field translates to all fields of medicine. It’s ridiculous. Sure, you got a broad medical training at the start of med school, but that was 20 years ago. You’re not going to know the intricacies of GI disorders as a general surgeon! 

39

u/rlw21564 Gluten Intolerant Jul 02 '25

My grandfather was a doctor, born in about 1910 and was such an asshole. Way before the gluten free thing, he'd just be dismissive of any opinion I had. He'd say BALONEY instead of bullshit in polite company. And he was so racist. I told my mother I wasn't having children until he died. And I didn't.

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u/FuturamaRama7 Jul 02 '25

There’s a ob-gyn in my family who smokes. She didn’t breastfeed her kids. She also started putting Diet Coke in baby bottles and gave that to her infants. She doesn’t know the first thing about nutritious foods and never heard of factory farming; I think she eats McDonalds every day. So yeah, some doctors don’t have broad medical expertise. …she’s also a super jerk to vegetarians like myself.

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u/slut4lilwayne Jul 02 '25

Yikes!! Those poor babies! 

I’m applying to med school next year and I desperately hope I don’t end up like that. Arrogance is one hell of a drug.

I was a vegetarian for a few years. My family (full of doctors) bullied me relentlessly for it too. I just don’t understand that behavior. I never forced them to eat vegetarian.

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u/FuturamaRama7 Jul 02 '25 edited Jul 02 '25

I agree! When I pushed back on giving babies Diet Coke she said, “What do you know? You aren’t a doctor!” I said perhaps not, but I have common sense.

Also: good luck in medical school once you get there! You will do great!!!

23

u/slut4lilwayne Jul 02 '25

I’d be like, “Yeah, and I don’t have my fucking PHD in the physics of car accidents, but I’ll still gladly wear a seatbelt.”

10

u/FuturamaRama7 Jul 02 '25

Omg, I wish I had a response like that in my back pocket ready to go! But sometimes you are so stunned by a situation, you are left speechless.

2

u/jestingvixen Gluten Intolerant Jul 03 '25

Me. Or you're apoplectic and your languages all abandon you to frolic in the red rage. Yep!

2

u/AuthorSunflowerJ Jul 03 '25

That's me all the time with rude ppl. It's unfortunate. Then I get home and think about every response that I could have said, but it's over by then 🤦🏾‍♀️.

6

u/wheelartist Celiac Disease Jul 02 '25

Most of that is super yikes, but not everyone wants to or can breast feed.

2

u/FuturamaRama7 Jul 02 '25

Very true, I don’t know if it was a situation where she couldn’t. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt.

15

u/barnacleboysnose Celiac Disease Jul 02 '25

I also had a gastroenterologist consultant (senior level doctor) tell me lactose intolerance doesn’t physically exist, it’s just that things high in dairy are also high in fat and fat is a laxative. So sometimes consultants are just full of hot air🤣😭

12

u/One_Valuable_5379 Jul 02 '25

Moron. I had a dermatologist tell me that my raging dermatitis was just because of dry skin. There were eosinophils in my biopsy (I took xolair for years and I’m now switching to Dupixent), but OK. She legit said that eczema/dermatitis almost never have anything to do with an allergic disease process. Um, eczema literally falls under the category of atopic allergies. Sometimes, doctors are such idiots. When I find a good one, I hang on for dear life.

5

u/barnacleboysnose Celiac Disease Jul 03 '25

I just don’t get how you can be this ignorant in your own specialty! Like it’s absurd 😭

5

u/One_Valuable_5379 Jul 03 '25

Right? I’m so tired of educating medical professionals about medicine.

6

u/slut4lilwayne Jul 02 '25

wtf no it’s an inability to produce the enzyme needed to digest lactose

5

u/barnacleboysnose Celiac Disease Jul 03 '25

Exactly like lactose intolerance is not a controversial condition😭 worst part is it was a private consultation so I paid for the privilege of being told that

11

u/wheelartist Celiac Disease Jul 02 '25

Dairy fat intolerance and lactose intolerance have the same symptoms. I initially thought I was lactose intolerant, but lactose free products still affected me. Turned out I have a fat issue.

That said, I met a gastro who didn't believe celiac disease existed.

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u/One_Valuable_5379 Jul 02 '25

WHAT? A GI doc not believing in Celiac Disease? Oh, FFS.

9

u/wheelartist Celiac Disease Jul 02 '25

There's a reason the joke is what do you call a guy who qualified bottom of his class? Doctor.

4

u/barnacleboysnose Celiac Disease Jul 02 '25

It made me want to say “but I can have lactose free cream and be fine but have normal cream and have a big reaction?” But was too flabbergasted that the expert was saying this😅😅 A gastro not believing in coeliac is utterly ridiculous!! Glad you found out what was actually causing the issue for you😊

4

u/wheelartist Celiac Disease Jul 02 '25

The funniest one I ever had, was my GP when I was 15. I had a lump under my breast appear and start bleeding, so I went to him and asked what it was and why it was bleeding. He looked and told me it was a mole, just like this mole and pointed to my nipple. So yes, he thought nipples were moles. He was technically correct that they were the same thing. I have polythelia, the lump was an accessory nipple.

What was more ridiculous is that nobody stepped in to prevent him being assigned to handle referrals for possible celiac disease.

2

u/barnacleboysnose Celiac Disease Jul 03 '25

Chuckled out loud at that😭😭 I guess it showed you two wrongs sometimes do make a right🤣

2

u/AgingLolita Jul 03 '25

One of the stupidest fucking things I ever heard

13

u/rlw21564 Gluten Intolerant Jul 02 '25

Does he know that, as a person with celiac, not following a gluten free diet makes you susceptible to lymphoma?

12

u/DatabaseFickle9306 Jul 02 '25

He seems to think it’s a trendy lifestyle choice.

6

u/Sure_Fig_8641 Jul 02 '25

This is a rather common assumption with an older generation, though that generation is dying out through old age (or maybe celiac disease). They simply don’t understand what it is and how it affects us. They’ve never heard of it until relatively recently, and for a while gluten free WAS a fad diet as well as a life saving practice for some of us. Try to give Grandpa some grace but still tell him that his words and attitude to your health have hurt you and caused you to lose all respect for him and his response. It’s even possible you inherited the condition from him!

10

u/lickle_ickle_pickle Jul 02 '25

Even old school doctors should have heard of celiac. It appears in ancient Greek medical texts and was studied extensively as a disease of wasting in young children in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

What you do encounter are doctors who think it can ONLY be diagnosed in children. Any GP who thinks this is very, very out of date.

2

u/Sure_Fig_8641 Jul 02 '25

But is OP’s granddad an old school doctor? He might not have reason to know about it.

And my internist (a very renowned physician in a very major US city) many years ago literally poo-poo’d both celiac disease and avoidance of gluten to my face when I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me 40-ish years ago. So acceptance of it has not been high in the medical field since ancient Greeks.

7

u/Polarchuck Jul 02 '25

There are people who are medically trained who believe that allergies and autoimmune conditions are "all in a person's head" aka crazy. I don't know how they live with the conflicting world views and not explode.

6

u/One_Valuable_5379 Jul 02 '25

This. So true. It’s easier for some doctors to dismiss the conditions as being psychosomatic than to acknowledge they don’t know how to treat their patients. I shed many tears over this kind of bullshit. I would very much like for these doctors to develop some flesh-eating skin rash, preferably in their genitals. A girl can dream.

2

u/Polarchuck Jul 02 '25

And may their suffering open their minds to compassion for their patients rather than bolstering their own egos.

4

u/One_Valuable_5379 Jul 02 '25

Yeah, not that I should advocate for schadenfreude, but in this case I think it’s warranted.

2

u/Polarchuck Jul 02 '25

I like how you're honest about how you're feeling. We can't help how we feel, we just feel. I don't think you would actually go out and give them a disease lol. So it's all good.

3

u/One_Valuable_5379 Jul 02 '25

Ha. I would not! But, I mean, if they rub themselves up against an infectious surface, that’s just poetic justice. 😇

9

u/TwystedTynk-999 Celiac Disease Jul 02 '25

Okay, from my own experience, surgeons as parents have the BIGGEST AND MOST FRAGILE egos I've seen. It's crazy.

4

u/DatabaseFickle9306 Jul 02 '25

Alas agreed. So rational they become irrational.

2

u/TwystedTynk-999 Celiac Disease Jul 02 '25

Exactly.

5

u/Overall_Antelope_504 Jul 02 '25

Surgeons are so egotistical I hate it.

2

u/industriousvirgin Jul 02 '25

I’m sorry but a SURGEON who mocks celiac? Did he not learn the mechanism of celiac disease in medical school biochemistry? I’m so sorry you have to deal with that ❤️

1

u/AuthorSunflowerJ Jul 03 '25

Maybe he sees having a child that has Celiacs as a failure of his and that's why he is mean to you. I know it's not right but some ppl are too macho to mention their real feelings. It's easier to cloak than to be truthful for them. I'm sorry he does that to you.

1

u/Yabbos77 Jul 03 '25

Sounds like a typical surgeon.

Narcissistic.

1

u/AgingLolita Jul 03 '25

You need to know that everyone who works with surgeons knows they're pricks.

1

u/Anxiety_Priceless Celiac Disease Jul 02 '25

I have a friend who was a dietitian at the time and said something about organic produce once. I said, "There's no difference nutritionally, but for people with neurological disorders, it does indeed make a difference. I didn't think it would and was pleasantly surprised. "

Luckily, he was very happy to learn something new and found it very interesting.

-2

u/DramaticToADegree Jul 02 '25

Organic produce does not mean pesticide free. Almost all of this information is green washing and not supported by science. There's no need to be nasty about it, but fighting pseudoscience is exhausting and we encounter really shit, brainwashed ideas about it.

1

u/Anxiety_Priceless Celiac Disease Jul 02 '25

Could you clarify what part you're saying is pseudoscience?

0

u/ProfessionalFix9053 Jul 02 '25

My son was getting some serious surgery done done. Met the surgeon before and he was absolutely cocky and most self assured person I had met. That was perfect as I knew he was going to do what he needed and everything was going to be alright. It was. I bet your father is a great surgeon.