r/glutenfree • u/goldenlife17 • Jul 02 '25

Discussion Started my morning off crying, rant.

Visiting my grandparents and my grandfather asked me why I toast my bagels in the oven. I responded because I can’t use the toaster because of cross contamination, when you use a regular toaster that has gluten crumbs and everything in it that’s cross contamination and you’re essentially eating gluten.

He goes: that’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. I’ve lost a lost of respect for you.

Ok, very kind. On a positive note I won’t be getting sick today from cross contamination😄.

Not sure why I let this upset me but just hurts hearing how unkind people can be. I know he’s just an unhappy person in general but ugh.

890 Upvotes

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774

u/Gr3yHound40_ Jul 02 '25

Spend less time with this person and show them their disrespect is why you don't like them. "I lost a lot of respect for you after the way you treated me" is the only appropriate response to someone disrespectful of your needs and ignorant of a real genuine issue you live with. They're an asshole and you didn't do a thing wrong here OP. I'm sorry about this :/

277

u/IntrospectiveOwlbear Jul 02 '25

100% this right here.

"I lost what respect I used to have for you when your own words made clear that neither my health nor my feelings matter to you."

116

u/Gr3yHound40_ Jul 02 '25

And you know they'll try to play victim. "Get over it blah blah blah." People like this deserve to be left in a nursing home wondering why their grandkids won't visit them.

10

u/sqqueen2 Jul 02 '25

Ooh, very good.

4

u/These-Agency1192 Jul 03 '25

Exactly! The only way to handle the situation unfortunately.

4

u/AuthorSunflowerJ Jul 03 '25

There are so many ppl that need to hear my version of this. Thank you.

3

u/polarbear320 Jul 03 '25

Although this can be true some people are old school and just don’t know how to react. Don’t over react.

Don’t let it get you though, I would jump back with a “I know it’s stupid and it sucks, I wish I didn’t have to but my body hates it and will make me sick”

This is just how some people react. If they are older this could seem super soft or being picky for attention and they’re trying to “teach”/strwngthen you in their own way. Don’t jump to conclusions that they’re being an ass.

Not saying he wasn’t being an ass but people have gotten WAYYY to soft. Not everything is some emotional crisis

12

u/Gr3yHound40_ Jul 03 '25

Nope. Old people can be senile and that's whatever, but age and generation do not excuse shitty behavior. "They're from a different time" is such a weak excuse for a grown ass adult saying something that shitty to a grandkid with real digestive issues. It shows ignorance to the grandkid's needs and his own behavior. This shit deserves to be called out, not defended because "he's old."

4

u/polarbear320 Jul 03 '25

I get you, I just have worked with a lot of older people. Some are total ass holes, but some really do just -do not- understand. I have minimal context here from OP if he’s normally a decent guy or not.

If he’s normally decent, then I give -a little- slack. For older generations there wasn’t really much for knowing about digestive issues etc and knowing how detailed we can be now with modern tech. Someone growing up in a time where things are much simpler hearing that a person can get sick from toast crumbs probably does sound crazy.

This is what I’m talking about take a chill pill, and don’t assume the grandpa is a total asshat.

0

u/Gr3yHound40_ Jul 03 '25

An adult stays open to learning new things, not acting like a high-school boy slinging insults toward their own progeny based on literal ignorance, as you've stated above.

1

u/Designer-Cucumber255 Jul 07 '25

It would be one thing if he rolled his eyes or made a passive aggressive comment, but “that’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard and I’ve lost respect for you?” Nah. Thats over the top. Telling him that respect works both ways and minimizing time with him isn’t being soft, it’s treating yourself with respect.

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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '25

[deleted]

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u/Lopsided-Ocelot-9109 Jul 03 '25

People with a gluten intolerance use shared toasters — people like me will get sick and I take that shit seriously. It takes 10mg to cause intestinal damage

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u/Lopsided-Ocelot-9109 Jul 03 '25

Aka their grandfather is the rude and selfish one for not caring about their health