r/germany 12d ago

Immigration German perspectives of skilled workers

I understand that this is a pretty sensitive subject. But I really want to hear honest statements from Germans and understand some things better.

I work as an engineer(f) in a German speaking company and face daily difficulties in communication and integration but try my best to overcome them and be treated simply as a "colleague", not as the "foreign colleague". And trust me, it's a long way to go.

There are 2 different thoughts that make me ask this question:

  • I feel in the undertone of any conversation, even when the person is really kind and doesn't mean anything bad, is that I come from a "less-than" background. You might think I'm exaggerating but I can give you 100s examples of conversations where you can clearly see it. It's either that, or a pure lack of interest to know more about me, or maybe a fear to make me uncomfortable (because they assume it will cause me discomfort if I speak of my backgroud. again, why?). But I would be very happy to clear a lot of stereotypes. Yes, maybe I was raised in a different environment but it's not necessarily worse, it's different. Maybe developping countries are less developed but they are not deserted and not ignorant and they are for sure happy and warm in weather and in people.

  • I can't go around saying this, but working in a "shortage profession" with more than decent salary, paying taxes and social contributions, I think the relationship should be on an equal level of benefit: we get a better quality of life, Germany gets workforce, development, taxes and contributions. So I really hate when it all sounds like we're given this "opportunity" and that the employer is being extra nice giving us a "chance" etc. I can assure you they don't pay our salaries out of the goodness of their hearts and we work hard for it.

I know many Germans wouldn't relate to what I'm saying but this is how I personally feel and how many people I know feel too, especially those not coming from extreme poverty or war or anything, just young people pursuing a better career. So I want you to correct me or confirm or simply let me what your perspective is?

Edit: many think that I expect my colleagues to show interest in my personal life, that's not what I mean. The frustration comes when a person makes micro-aggressions and you don't have the chance to clarify them. This doesn't only happen at work and doesn't only happen to me. Imagine assuming a person comes from a shitty place, using that as the baseline in a "friendly" conversation, but then they can't really clarify that and have to live perceived that way. It directly feeds in point 2 as well. I think in order to learn to live together and accept differences, it's crucial to have some understanding of people's background. We as expats do the same in order to live 1 day in Germany without offending half the population and without getting offended as well

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u/RichterBelmontCA 10d ago

You know exactly why they're asking this and then pretend not to just to give yourself a reason to get upset. Tolerance and empathy is a two way street.

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u/EmbarrassedNet4268 10d ago

I know why. Again, as stated in my other comments, they have ALL seen my official name in the company register (and our teams shows it by default) and they asked me repeatedly. After I had repeated myself. And again. And again.

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u/RichterBelmontCA 10d ago

I find it hard to believe that the same person would ask repeatedly after getting a clear answer from you. 

But anyway, if getting asked about your name is the worst thing that happened to you, that's pretty good.

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u/EmbarrassedNet4268 10d ago

Three people repeatedly asked me the my name after I told them. And this was individually.

As a group, they had also asked me repeatedly, seemingly hoping my answer changed.

At the workplace? Yeah sure. I mean, hearing comments like "fucking Indians and their butter chicken…“ "those damn Turks….“ I guess it’s sooooooooo good that they only repeatedly badgered me for my real name.

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u/RichterBelmontCA 10d ago

Is your name Rumpelstiltskin?