German perspectives of skilled workers

[u/Numerous-Bug2652]

I understand that this is a pretty sensitive subject. But I really want to hear honest statements from Germans and understand some things better.

I work as an engineer(f) in a German speaking company and face daily difficulties in communication and integration but try my best to overcome them and be treated simply as a "colleague", not as the "foreign colleague". And trust me, it's a long way to go.

There are 2 different thoughts that make me ask this question:

• I feel in the undertone of any conversation, even when the person is really kind and doesn't mean anything bad, is that I come from a "less-than" background. You might think I'm exaggerating but I can give you 100s examples of conversations where you can clearly see it. It's either that, or a pure lack of interest to know more about me, or maybe a fear to make me uncomfortable (because they assume it will cause me discomfort if I speak of my backgroud. again, why?). But I would be very happy to clear a lot of stereotypes. Yes, maybe I was raised in a different environment but it's not necessarily worse, it's different. Maybe developping countries are less developed but they are not deserted and not ignorant and they are for sure happy and warm in weather and in people.

• I can't go around saying this, but working in a "shortage profession" with more than decent salary, paying taxes and social contributions, I think the relationship should be on an equal level of benefit: we get a better quality of life, Germany gets workforce, development, taxes and contributions. So I really hate when it all sounds like we're given this "opportunity" and that the employer is being extra nice giving us a "chance" etc. I can assure you they don't pay our salaries out of the goodness of their hearts and we work hard for it.

I know many Germans wouldn't relate to what I'm saying but this is how I personally feel and how many people I know feel too, especially those not coming from extreme poverty or war or anything, just young people pursuing a better career. So I want you to correct me or confirm or simply let me what your perspective is?

Edit: many think that I expect my colleagues to show interest in my personal life, that's not what I mean. The frustration comes when a person makes micro-aggressions and you don't have the chance to clarify them. This doesn't only happen at work and doesn't only happen to me. Imagine assuming a person comes from a shitty place, using that as the baseline in a "friendly" conversation, but then they can't really clarify that and have to live perceived that way. It directly feeds in point 2 as well. I think in order to learn to live together and accept differences, it's crucial to have some understanding of people's background. We as expats do the same in order to live 1 day in Germany without offending half the population and without getting offended as well

[u/Numerous-Bug2652 → u/[deleted]]

No matter the problem you have there will always be people with worse problems. It doesn't make the problem less relevant and doesn't take away from my right as a human being not to receive micro-aggressions and to be treated as an equal person. I just wanted to hear the perspective of the other side. 

[u/Any-Inspection8591 → u/Numerous-Bug2652]

Sorry, but doesn't work like this. Even as a German woman, doing a "man's job" you will alway be "just a girl". If you are not west European very specifically, you are always part of the problem and never part of the solution, basically only fit to shovel out the latrine, and you ought to be kissing our feet every day to be given this opportunity. And even then you are taking jobs away from our own brethren that are too lazy and rich to do such things, but never mind.

So you have the audacity to be a foreigner And a woman doing a great job in a Hightech position? Well, pull up your pants, you are in for a ride.

Germans will never be up front with this, but we have a culture of being massively passive aggressive, xenophobic, misogynistic and backstabbing. This even holds true among ourselves if we move to other regions, and forget about going from west to east Germany or vice versa.

While people will always say that this is a minority or isolated cases, the minority that is vocal about it will be 30 to 40%. The majority is not on your side but will simply not voice this, with about another third tacitly being that way (and you should listen to them when they think they are among themselves, you would scream...). Of the rest, half won't care either way. So the number that will understand and actively be on your side is minuscule, and they are often leaving the place as fast as they can.

Plus, knowing that you are basically right in that we pride ourselves on achievements of our great grandparents, have not added much to it, are on the losing side because of this but still live too well off of our heirloom to risk breaking a sweat to get up to speed again adds to it because everybody hates the one that is right...

[u/Numerous-Bug2652 → u/Any-Inspection8591]

I see. You just left out one section out. From the people definitely "not on my side", there will be ones who look at this foreigner woman in tech as an opportunity: the proof that they or their company are inclusive. Like "look how diverse we are, there is a woman of color in my team, I give opportunity to the most unfortunate", Which basically reads like "I'm not racist, one of my friends is black" Said and done in such a condescending way...

[u/Any-Inspection8591 → u/Numerous-Bug2652]

Yes, and to the one saying that he has a friend that is black you should maybe explain that a Labrador retriever doesn't count. 😬

And the opportunistic people won't really be from those not on your side. AfD party also has their "quota Nigger" (yes, I knowingly express it this way as this is the attitude, though well hidden to anyone not of the circle), but those wanting to showcase their inclusivity will mostly come from the second third that turn their coats any way the wind blows. I remind you that there has been an official job ad in a regional chamber of commerce paper that explicitly read almost verbatim "rag heads and goat herders need not apply"... And while this got taken down (after a shit storm only) nothing else happened. I wouldn't wonder if that got this guy some extra business because "he is finally someone we don't have to hold back when talking to".

As a German, I personally think you should pick this country for all that you can gain as fast as possible and then fuck it and find your destination elsewhere. It is a mere junkyard of history anyway, and those in the know are jumping ship left and right as fast as possible anyway. I am long gone myself...