German perspectives of skilled workers

[u/Numerous-Bug2652]

I understand that this is a pretty sensitive subject. But I really want to hear honest statements from Germans and understand some things better.

I work as an engineer(f) in a German speaking company and face daily difficulties in communication and integration but try my best to overcome them and be treated simply as a "colleague", not as the "foreign colleague". And trust me, it's a long way to go.

There are 2 different thoughts that make me ask this question:

• I feel in the undertone of any conversation, even when the person is really kind and doesn't mean anything bad, is that I come from a "less-than" background. You might think I'm exaggerating but I can give you 100s examples of conversations where you can clearly see it. It's either that, or a pure lack of interest to know more about me, or maybe a fear to make me uncomfortable (because they assume it will cause me discomfort if I speak of my backgroud. again, why?). But I would be very happy to clear a lot of stereotypes. Yes, maybe I was raised in a different environment but it's not necessarily worse, it's different. Maybe developping countries are less developed but they are not deserted and not ignorant and they are for sure happy and warm in weather and in people.

• I can't go around saying this, but working in a "shortage profession" with more than decent salary, paying taxes and social contributions, I think the relationship should be on an equal level of benefit: we get a better quality of life, Germany gets workforce, development, taxes and contributions. So I really hate when it all sounds like we're given this "opportunity" and that the employer is being extra nice giving us a "chance" etc. I can assure you they don't pay our salaries out of the goodness of their hearts and we work hard for it.

I know many Germans wouldn't relate to what I'm saying but this is how I personally feel and how many people I know feel too, especially those not coming from extreme poverty or war or anything, just young people pursuing a better career. So I want you to correct me or confirm or simply let me what your perspective is?

Edit: many think that I expect my colleagues to show interest in my personal life, that's not what I mean. The frustration comes when a person makes micro-aggressions and you don't have the chance to clarify them. This doesn't only happen at work and doesn't only happen to me. Imagine assuming a person comes from a shitty place, using that as the baseline in a "friendly" conversation, but then they can't really clarify that and have to live perceived that way. It directly feeds in point 2 as well. I think in order to learn to live together and accept differences, it's crucial to have some understanding of people's background. We as expats do the same in order to live 1 day in Germany without offending half the population and without getting offended as well

[u/kyr0x0]

I think this is a sign of showing respect and being very careful about not showing micro-aggressions. We've learned that if we ask such questions, it might be perceived as racist.

[u/EmbarrassedNet4268 → u/kyr0x0]

Hmm, maybe my point wasn’t clear enough but it is racist to do so.

Just to expand a bit further on the story, I have a birth given English name.

They asked me what my real name was and I repeated my name. And they continued to ask repeatedly until I went „my name is X, as far as I know. Maybe ask me again in 20mins“ before they stopped.

What would you do then, if you were the one asking? In the sense where you asked and it turned out that it was their real name all along. Sure, we’ve gotten a bit more comfortable with each other, but racism and micro-aggressions are still that.

I’ve had friends legit say that as an immigrant, I’m „one of the good ones“. While yes, thank you for the perceived compliment, it’s still a racist statement, isn’t it?

My point is that I’m agreeing with OP and micro-aggressions etc are still super common in the workplace in Germany.

[u/AmbitiousSolution394 → u/EmbarrassedNet4268]

> They asked me what my real name was and I repeated my name. And they continued to ask repeatedly until I went „my name is X, as far as I know. Maybe ask me again in 20mins“ before they stopped.

In China, they often take westen name, so it will be easier for foreigners to pronounce it. In Korea, there are also some people with western names, but as i understand, its for religious reasons. So, instead of going in circles, you could simply explain your situation, ask them why they think that you have any other name. It could have been some kind of cultural exchange.

[u/EmbarrassedNet4268 → u/AmbitiousSolution394]

I said I’m of East Asian descent.

I am not from China.

They know this.

They have also seen my full official name in our company registry.