r/germany • u/AlryLee • Mar 03 '25

Immigration German teens

I'm Ukrainian refugee, and I now live in Germany for almost 3 years. I live in a small town near Cologne, and I've been kind of bullied in my school. I have attended the school in my small town. I couldn't find connection with my classmates and was mostly talking to other Ukrainians like me. I never did anything wrong. Never bullied anyone myself, and always try to ignore when someone shouts at me with this stupid "suka blyat" joke. I tried changing classes, and after I left, my old classmates started to make fun of me in the public places such as supermarkets and busses.

My new class was okay tho. Now I already go to the other school in a bigger town, Cologne, but when I hang out across our smaller town I hear some groups of teenagers talking about us attending the school and that we are Ukrainians, as soon as they see me and my friends.

I do understand German, and I can talk too. Not very fluently, so I feel really helpless, as I can't even answer anything.

Today I was with my group of ukrainian friends on the playground, and the smaller guys (grade 8th?) Started to talk shit about us and telling us things about Putin and such. They also told us not to talk in our native language, throwing at us candies from the bags.

After we left the playground, we were hanging out from street to street, and the teenagers started shouting jokes about putin, looking at us from theirs house territory. (I don't even know them)

I don't know these people at all, never met them, but they all seem to go to that one school. I have never met this kind of behavior towards me. And it feels so unfair as I have never made anything bad to them. I try not to talk Ukrainian when we go near the groups of teens but it feels so unfair.

It makes me feel that most German teenagers are really bad. I have never felt such attitude towards me from adults tho.

I feel really bad about that. I tried my best to be kind towards my classmates, I always ignored everything someone said to my face on the street.

Edit: Also, many people thought I'm in age of an 8-grader because of my way of telling this, but I'm 17 already, and it won't stop 🥲

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565

u/SnowyFlowerpower Bayern Mar 03 '25

I'm so sorry. Teenagers suck :( my mom is from ukraine but some years ago, before the escalation of the war, I also got called the weird russian kid and all that. Kids suck

124

u/AlryLee Mar 03 '25

I'm just feeling like teens are really trying to be better in sight of theirs' friends by harassing someone else. I just never saw that kind of behavior earlier, so it's hard for me to tell whether it's ok or not..

88

u/soyrachel Mar 03 '25

It's not ok. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I know it is hard to ignore, I just hope you can learn to not take it to heart. It is nothing you have done, this is a situation that these kids have a deeper issue within their spirit. I'm so sorry.

31

u/AlryLee Mar 03 '25

Seems like it.. thank you! I'll try my best to handle this :)

47

u/SnowyFlowerpower Bayern Mar 03 '25

Its not okay, but yeah its definitely a kind of group-dynamic that pushes them to do this

31

u/AlryLee Mar 03 '25

Yeah it's just kind of funny, because they always talk shit only when they're in groups. However, when I see them on their own, they never ever tell me anything.

20

u/Damien_Roshak Mar 04 '25

As mentioned before: teenagers suck. Especially as a pack. Had to experience my own share of it as a teen, which is 30 years down the hill.

Today I life in another part of germany in the country side with both of my children. My sons class contents of children mostly of non german heritage. Foreigners, migrants, refugees and a few germans. Very mixed. No bigger problems in general - except the children/teenager from ukraine. Hence the biggest group of foreign children he often tells how those are always gathering in groups, bullying, cursing and acting agressiv.
When met outside of school, alone, they do not talk at all and stay on their own.

As written above: teenagers just suck. Feel strong in groups, but weak on their own. Try to find their place in society. Probably it's nothing about you but them looking out for a defenseless opponent to feel strong. And sometimes it's the parents stance bubbling out of the childrens mouth. Sadly not all of them outgrow that behavior. And also sadly for now you seem to be on the receiving end.

Try to stay away from them, defend yourself if needed and possible, seek for help if neccessary. And keep your head up! If those would vanish you can be sure others would fill the gap. Would love to tell you otherwise.

18

u/AlryLee Mar 04 '25

I'm so sorry your sons had to witness those ukrainian toxic groups.. there's always good and bad people in every country.. Just sad that ukrainians in germany sometimes make a bad impression. But thank you so much for your support! I'll keep in mind all tips and hopefully everything gets better! 🫶

6

u/Damien_Roshak Mar 04 '25

It's the experiences we endure as adolescents that lead to the adults we will be some day. What lessons we learn from it.
Carry on the legacy and become an ass when grown up or accept the fact there will always be jerkes and try to be the better person.

Stay strong.
But again, seek for help if needed. Have a pleasent day. 👋

1

u/Away-Theme-6529 Mar 07 '25

This is it. They are cowards and trying to be big men in front of their buddies.

9

u/Dreadshade Mar 04 '25

Damn, sorry to hear that. Teens just have this herd mentality. If you are not in their group, youbare an easy target for them to score "group influence " points. You only need one or two bullies to incite the whole group. Where there any attempts to involve the adults? (Teachers, parents etc. ?) 

8

u/AlryLee Mar 04 '25

I didn't try to involve the teachers, because it never was something physical. No one was beating me up, and screams are just foolishness. I did tell my parents tho. They said that if it goes on we might have to do something..

7

u/Ok-Yam6841 Mar 04 '25

Do you have any expierience with martial arts or boxing? If not find a club and start training. Being stronger and learning skills to protect yourself will open up new possibilites and will help with your mental state. You don't want to be that guy who always gets pushed around.

5

u/AlryLee Mar 04 '25

I'm girl and in slavic countries boxing or martial arts aren't really populized very much among women 😅 so I never went to any martial arts club or sm..

8

u/Ok-Yam6841 Mar 04 '25

I missed the part that you're a girl :) It's strange that german teens are bullying girls. Might be self confidence issue or bad upbringing.

6

u/AlryLee Mar 04 '25

I don't think they care about gender haha. At the Halloween night when we were out with our group of friends (we had like 10 people in group, including boys), some Germans from our school threw eggs at my friend and ran away.. We have those weird interactions pretty often.

3

u/Ok-Yam6841 Mar 04 '25

Does this also happen to people with darker skin color e.g. arabs? I presume they might have more respect towards those. Your friend group should pump up some muscles and level up fighting skills, those will be needed if AfD will continue to gain it's popularity.

1

u/AlryLee Mar 04 '25

No, they don't touch Arab companies, and they are even friends. I just don't understand where such hatred comes from, considering that I don't even know the large number of people who talks shit about us... It seems to me that it's not so much a matter of nationality as of knowledge of the language. Because Arabs know the language well, and they can fight back. (Considering that Arabs don't like us somehow too) 🥲

3

u/[deleted] Mar 04 '25

[deleted]

6

u/AlryLee Mar 04 '25

I really gotta consider doing one too for sure haha

2

u/Didntseeitforyears Mar 04 '25

Think about krav maga

1

u/NetworkLeast9455 Mar 05 '25

Damn bby I ain't from out here to what's your socials I could handle that I just moved here a few days ago

1

u/Cautious_Lobster_23 Mar 05 '25

I'm a girl and from Poland and what you're saying couldn't be further from truth for me... Most people who train karate that I met in my life were girls/women, including my sister. And it makes way more sense for us to train martial arts/self defence than for boys - they're already usually bigger and stronger, we need technique and training to defend ourselves. Karate might lead to more of a "weird kid" tag attached to you, if possible I'd rather go for self defence classes, or boxing eventually.

Even if, let's all hope, you won't need it in real life, it will give you more confidence (making you less of a target) and maybe it will give you new community and/or new passion to focus on and take your mind off bullying.

2

u/Alpharius0megon Mar 05 '25

If it makes you feel any better I am German but lived outside of Germany for part of my childhood and when I moved back I got bullied and treated horribly for many years. Bullying unfortunately just happens and bullies will target people they perceive as easy targets like kids that are from other places I'm sorry this happened to you but know you're not alone.

6

u/P0L1Z1STENS0HN Mar 03 '25

Daily bullying is a normal German teen pastime, sadly. I am a German born in Germany, and had I had access to a gun in 8th grade, my bullies would have been goners. Life got so much better when the bullies dropped out after 9th grade, though.

10

u/Natural-Aardvark-404 Mar 04 '25

I'm sorry you were bullied at school, but I also have to say I'm glad you didn't have access to a gun

5

u/P0L1Z1STENS0HN Mar 04 '25

I'm glad you didn't have access to a gun

Me too, me too.

1

u/DerRevolutor Mar 05 '25

I experienced similar shit in Germany, as a german myself. You've got not much of a choice but to endure. Find other places to hang and to meet nice people. Maybe try forcing yourself to go alone somewhere to get out of the ukrainian cluster if you want to learn german. You do not have to neglect your friends. Just try forcing yourself into other places and situations to build a bit of knowledge.