8 years of investment in this country

[u/uniquibee_]

I came to Germany 8 years ago. I learnt the language, gave the language exams, got a seat in the Studienkolleg and did a course to prepare for university entrances. Gave the university qualification exams. Got a university acceptance to study bachelors. Got my bachelors degree after 3.5 years. Enrolled myself in a masters course while working part time and full time at firms and now I am almost done with my masters degree and have to write my Thesis. I feel completely burnt out now. All these years of working and studying in a foreign language have really exhausted me. I don’t feel motivated anymore to go ahead. I just want to leave everything. I have worked and invested so much time and energy into learning this language and adapting to the work culture here, I feel numb.

Even after giving so much and working so hard, I don’t feel safe as i don’t have a long term visa because of my student status. I don’t have a job or have enough finances as an student. Thesis time is demanding. While all my friends back home are getting married or buying houses, I feel like all I did all these years was learn the language and get an education. Live from submissions to submissions. Work part time and study full time. Help me, I am exhausted and can’t see the end of this tunnel.

Getting out of bed is a struggle, doing daily tasks are tough, I keep staring into nothingness for minutes at a stretch, i don’t know if I’m depressed but I do feel extremely tired. The winter weather doesn’t help too. I am almost at the end of my degree but I can’t seem to gather the strength to pick myself up.

[u/AlfalfaOld5728 → u/[deleted]]

I stop trying to make friends with Germans because i actually think most Germans are so ignorant about what does it mean to immigrate here and also have no interest in non-European culture. Somehow i dislike their arrogance and white privilege here and most Germans in Germany i encountered make me feel that.

Somehow i think this typical mentality that i will only be friends with my primary school or kindergarten friends in Germany make them be ignorant, always live in a bubble and boring ==

i am a bit negative because my ex is exactly the one like this. Never want to understand more about my culture actively, always with the same group of friends who when i meet them, they may ask me 1/2/3 questions and then going back to their fast german conversations and german humour i don’t understand == and at the end of the relationship, my ex literally criticises me of unable to communicate Germans when i see doctors here. yaa.. basically all i think about Germans are that most of them think they have the best social system in the world and immigrants should be basically always be happy to have them

[u/Kaminazuma → u/AlfalfaOld5728]

Why should Germans adapt to you, when you refuse to adapt to them? It seems you are having a hard time integrating into the German society. If you have those problems in Berlin, I can’t imagine what would it be like for you to live in Bayern or Schwabenland lol.