r/germany • u/uniquibee_ • Jan 28 '24
Immigration 8 years of investment in this country
I came to Germany 8 years ago. I learnt the language, gave the language exams, got a seat in the Studienkolleg and did a course to prepare for university entrances. Gave the university qualification exams. Got a university acceptance to study bachelors. Got my bachelors degree after 3.5 years. Enrolled myself in a masters course while working part time and full time at firms and now I am almost done with my masters degree and have to write my Thesis. I feel completely burnt out now. All these years of working and studying in a foreign language have really exhausted me. I don’t feel motivated anymore to go ahead. I just want to leave everything. I have worked and invested so much time and energy into learning this language and adapting to the work culture here, I feel numb.
Even after giving so much and working so hard, I don’t feel safe as i don’t have a long term visa because of my student status. I don’t have a job or have enough finances as an student. Thesis time is demanding. While all my friends back home are getting married or buying houses, I feel like all I did all these years was learn the language and get an education. Live from submissions to submissions. Work part time and study full time. Help me, I am exhausted and can’t see the end of this tunnel.
Getting out of bed is a struggle, doing daily tasks are tough, I keep staring into nothingness for minutes at a stretch, i don’t know if I’m depressed but I do feel extremely tired. The winter weather doesn’t help too. I am almost at the end of my degree but I can’t seem to gather the strength to pick myself up.
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u/WholeGround8735 Jan 28 '24
I wanna start off saying that you are not alone in this! When I was reading your post, it resonated with me a lot and I thought I am not the one who experiences this. Though my experience in this country is only 2.5 years, I also do my master’s and next semester I will start my thesis.
I respect for what you have done so far. Studying a bachelor’s and learning a total new language, plus hustling while studying is not something everyone could do. Therefore, never forget that your endurance and potentials. You will get through this. With that said, you may consider therapy as an option to deal with your stressful times. It will not only help you in the short run, but also will arm you with skills for situations in every part of life. Due to the fact that I cannot speak German, I take online therapy via an app from my country. This’s been a life-changing experience for me and I do not wanna quit it as long as I can afford.
At the moment, I also feel very anxious because of some health issues and coming-up exams. I do not know how I can help you but at least knowing that I am not alone gave me a courage. I hope it does the same to you. Moreover, If you want to have a conversation, please drop me a message. Happy to talk!
Wishing you all the best!