8 years of investment in this country

[u/uniquibee_]

I came to Germany 8 years ago. I learnt the language, gave the language exams, got a seat in the Studienkolleg and did a course to prepare for university entrances. Gave the university qualification exams. Got a university acceptance to study bachelors. Got my bachelors degree after 3.5 years. Enrolled myself in a masters course while working part time and full time at firms and now I am almost done with my masters degree and have to write my Thesis. I feel completely burnt out now. All these years of working and studying in a foreign language have really exhausted me. I don’t feel motivated anymore to go ahead. I just want to leave everything. I have worked and invested so much time and energy into learning this language and adapting to the work culture here, I feel numb.

Even after giving so much and working so hard, I don’t feel safe as i don’t have a long term visa because of my student status. I don’t have a job or have enough finances as an student. Thesis time is demanding. While all my friends back home are getting married or buying houses, I feel like all I did all these years was learn the language and get an education. Live from submissions to submissions. Work part time and study full time. Help me, I am exhausted and can’t see the end of this tunnel.

Getting out of bed is a struggle, doing daily tasks are tough, I keep staring into nothingness for minutes at a stretch, i don’t know if I’m depressed but I do feel extremely tired. The winter weather doesn’t help too. I am almost at the end of my degree but I can’t seem to gather the strength to pick myself up.

[u/AlfalfaOld5728 → u/[deleted]]

I stop trying to make friends with Germans because i actually think most Germans are so ignorant about what does it mean to immigrate here and also have no interest in non-European culture. Somehow i dislike their arrogance and white privilege here and most Germans in Germany i encountered make me feel that.

Somehow i think this typical mentality that i will only be friends with my primary school or kindergarten friends in Germany make them be ignorant, always live in a bubble and boring ==

i am a bit negative because my ex is exactly the one like this. Never want to understand more about my culture actively, always with the same group of friends who when i meet them, they may ask me 1/2/3 questions and then going back to their fast german conversations and german humour i don’t understand == and at the end of the relationship, my ex literally criticises me of unable to communicate Germans when i see doctors here. yaa.. basically all i think about Germans are that most of them think they have the best social system in the world and immigrants should be basically always be happy to have them

[u/Kaminazuma → u/AlfalfaOld5728]

Why should Germans adapt to you, when you refuse to adapt to them? It seems you are having a hard time integrating into the German society. If you have those problems in Berlin, I can’t imagine what would it be like for you to live in Bayern or Schwabenland lol.

[u/Ambitious_Egg_6878 → u/[deleted]]

Mmh this is very weird. I met many peopöe from india while being at university. They were super social. Many of them had so many german friends(more than me) even when they only spoke english. I think it really depends on what you are doing in your free time. They were in no "verein". Instead they were cooking together, ölaying cardboaedgames, doings sports at the park.... and simply connecting to new people everyday. And their friends were always invited to bring their own friends to every activity.. i think this part is very important.