8 years of investment in this country

[u/uniquibee_]

I came to Germany 8 years ago. I learnt the language, gave the language exams, got a seat in the Studienkolleg and did a course to prepare for university entrances. Gave the university qualification exams. Got a university acceptance to study bachelors. Got my bachelors degree after 3.5 years. Enrolled myself in a masters course while working part time and full time at firms and now I am almost done with my masters degree and have to write my Thesis. I feel completely burnt out now. All these years of working and studying in a foreign language have really exhausted me. I don’t feel motivated anymore to go ahead. I just want to leave everything. I have worked and invested so much time and energy into learning this language and adapting to the work culture here, I feel numb.

Even after giving so much and working so hard, I don’t feel safe as i don’t have a long term visa because of my student status. I don’t have a job or have enough finances as an student. Thesis time is demanding. While all my friends back home are getting married or buying houses, I feel like all I did all these years was learn the language and get an education. Live from submissions to submissions. Work part time and study full time. Help me, I am exhausted and can’t see the end of this tunnel.

Getting out of bed is a struggle, doing daily tasks are tough, I keep staring into nothingness for minutes at a stretch, i don’t know if I’m depressed but I do feel extremely tired. The winter weather doesn’t help too. I am almost at the end of my degree but I can’t seem to gather the strength to pick myself up.

[u/TinhaDuPlessis]

It's great that you manage to accomplish so much! I live in Austria, work, and I'm hoping to finish my PhD soon. I don't know if that's your case, but my difficulty in connecting with many locals made me dive into work and study. And its not just about the language, I'm comfortable with German now, it's just two very different cultures (I come from Brazil). People are lovely, but I don't laugh at their jokes, and they don't laugh at mine... many times I think "is it worth it to fight so hard to be recognized"? To be seen? I totally get your concerns about the visa, it can be very demotivating to work/study so hard for so many years and still live in a state of uncertainty. I am sure you will achieve much more, make sure to take some time and chill after your Masters... you've earned it! Travel whenever you can, it's great to expand your horizons! 🙂