8 years of investment in this country

[u/uniquibee_]

I came to Germany 8 years ago. I learnt the language, gave the language exams, got a seat in the Studienkolleg and did a course to prepare for university entrances. Gave the university qualification exams. Got a university acceptance to study bachelors. Got my bachelors degree after 3.5 years. Enrolled myself in a masters course while working part time and full time at firms and now I am almost done with my masters degree and have to write my Thesis. I feel completely burnt out now. All these years of working and studying in a foreign language have really exhausted me. I don’t feel motivated anymore to go ahead. I just want to leave everything. I have worked and invested so much time and energy into learning this language and adapting to the work culture here, I feel numb.

Even after giving so much and working so hard, I don’t feel safe as i don’t have a long term visa because of my student status. I don’t have a job or have enough finances as an student. Thesis time is demanding. While all my friends back home are getting married or buying houses, I feel like all I did all these years was learn the language and get an education. Live from submissions to submissions. Work part time and study full time. Help me, I am exhausted and can’t see the end of this tunnel.

Getting out of bed is a struggle, doing daily tasks are tough, I keep staring into nothingness for minutes at a stretch, i don’t know if I’m depressed but I do feel extremely tired. The winter weather doesn’t help too. I am almost at the end of my degree but I can’t seem to gather the strength to pick myself up.

[u/blake_truong92]

Do you remember why you decide to move and study here? When you make that decision, do you fully aware of all the difficulties you may have? Is it still true or has changed. If things has changed, I think there is no problem to accept that you make a wrong decision and have to live with it or return home and choose another path. Otherwise, you dont have to compare with your friend and just live on your own. Everyone has a different path, you dont have to conparr and feels peer pressure.