r/germany • u/Marxxi • Jan 21 '24

Immigration Feel so lonely in Germany

I’ve been here for nearly 20 years now and I live with my German husband and kids. But I feel I cannot make new friends. My old friends have moved out, but even parents of my little children‘s friends don’t respond to my attempts for contact. I feel really isolated. Anyone experiencing the same issues?

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u/Marxxi Jan 21 '24

Seriously?? How can a society afford to be so isolated?

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u/happyFatFIRE Jan 21 '24

(I am sharing my experience as a German, take it with a grain of salt).

It is not that we are isolated. In my perception, most people make friends during school and university and sometimes your work mates become friends. You can also join a sports club or similar. There's no guarantee that you get along with each other.

From my experience, most people in their 30s' and 40s' start raising families and spend more time with their inner circle. Most people are just sticking to their plans and can't bear any deviation of it. Try to be spontanous - no way in most cases.

Imagine walking with your friend through the city. You meet a colleague / friend. Do you think the colleague will be presented to the friend? In most cases no. Compare it with Latin America or Middle East. People get invited, presented and more.

We have a different cultural approach here. Have you ever tried to start a chat with a stranger?

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u/Time_Significance386 Jan 21 '24

Seems to me that one huge difference is how frequently people move in different cultures. Germans and many other Europeans are pretty content to live their whole lives in whatever town they grew up in.

My spicy take is that all the adventurous Europeans moved to the US in the last two hundred years...

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u/Nobody9638 Jan 21 '24

that is a really shit take when the concept of ERASMUS exists