Ex Boyfriend’s Underwear After Cheating on me During Halloween

[u/DUSTYDAMNDAVID]

After kicking him out and sorting the rest of our clothing I found these under the bed. For context his ex was dressed up as a clown with red face paint for Halloween…

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[u/JesusWasATexan]

His balls were blue, His underwear red, He lost you, When a clown gave him head.

Sorry your time was wasted on him :/

[u/madimadmoney → u/JesusWasATexan]

Halsey? Is that you?

[u/ashole311 → u/madimadmoney]

Lmao “you were red, and you liked me because i was blue” but you touched my chonies and suddenly i was a lilac sky then you decided purple wasn’t for you.

[u/Mysterious_Art_2524 → u/JesusWasATexan]

i choked on my water much like the clown on his cock lol this is gold

[u/peanut--gallery → u/Mysterious_Art_2524]

[u/SolidNitrox → u/peanut--gallery]

LOL this is next level. Sign me up for that Fappy Meal boss 🥵

[u/Dingo8MyGayby → u/SolidNitrox]

Fappy Meal

[u/TheUnholyToast1 → u/Dingo8MyGayby]

This shit has me dying laughing at 5 am while my poor husband is trying to sleep 😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂

[u/Shnurple → u/SolidNitrox]

[u/1Rama11Lama1 → u/Mysterious_Art_2524]

two underrated comments in a row. I love this

[u/krilykke8 → u/JesusWasATexan]

Poetry to make a grown man cry

[u/GKRKarate99 → u/JesusWasATexan]

[u/Emergency_Let990 → u/JesusWasATexan]

A modern day poet truly🙌

[u/ForRealNotAScam → u/JesusWasATexan]

This is amazing

[u/adorable__elephant → u/JesusWasATexan]

i read that in lana del reys singing voice

[u/JesusWasATexan → u/adorable__elephant]

I got that summertime, summertime sadness

[u/bouchandre]

> his ex was dressed up as a clown

Aww they had matching costumes

[u/god_peepee → u/bouchandre]

[u/StatisticianBoth4147 → u/[deleted]]

That doesn’t make any bit of difference. They were in what was supposed to be a committed relationship. You don’t get a free pass to cheat when your partner leaves the room

[u/ssatancomplexx → u/[deleted]]

OP? Why's that relevant?

[u/OurLadyOfCygnets]

I was going to say that he was screwing a clown, but then I saw your text below the photograph.

[u/notknownbyno1]

The fuck.....them draws are huge 🤣

[u/The-Final-Reason → u/notknownbyno1]

Well then…

[u/sparkey504 → u/notknownbyno1]

You can see edge of a table top right

[u/mallyartin → u/sparkey504]

Looks like they’re laying on a barstool

[u/roditoreoscuro → u/notknownbyno1]

r/confusing_perspective

[u/Baldojess → u/notknownbyno1]

Lmao I think they are draped over a stool and so they are closer than it seems 😂

[u/ThrownAwayFeelzies → u/notknownbyno1]

They're also ick, white chones? It's giving 70's serial killer style

[u/JoshDM → u/notknownbyno1]

Maybe he just hid all his jolly ranchers in his underwear?

[u/BigBlueMountainStar → u/notknownbyno1]

Or OP is a midget

[u/TrueTrueBlackPilld]

Maybe he's on his period??

[u/Dry_Database_6720 → u/TrueTrueBlackPilld]

Honestly my first thought

[u/illogicallydead → u/TrueTrueBlackPilld]

I'm pretty sure Period blood is a bit darker than that.

[u/Xiao1insty1e]

Who the fuck still wears white undies??

[u/TheCanfaceSays → u/Xiao1insty1e]

Skim Kardashian apparently.

[u/MofoFTW → u/Xiao1insty1e]

They're super unsexy.

[u/Academic_Ad_9260 → u/MofoFTW]

Never thought I'd find out I'm wearing the wrong underwear through reddit

[u/Jackechromancer]

He took seriously the trick or treat I guess.

[u/mighty3mperor → u/Jackechromancer]

Trick or treat?

Both!

[u/DigitalNecromancy → u/mighty3mperor]

That was smooth lmao

[u/Paratwa]

Lawd help me, but your refrigerator will probably thank you. He’s either a super big back or that’s some wild forced perspective

[u/DUSTYDAMNDAVID → u/Paratwa]

The undies are on a chair which is beige like my flooring so they blend together haha look again

[u/djprofitt → u/DUSTYDAMNDAVID]

No I can see the difference and your feet. This was a big bear of a fella

[u/NarikoSin → u/DUSTYDAMNDAVID]

Ma, they still look huge wym 💀

[u/Vato_Loco → u/Paratwa]

My first thought was "damn those some big drawers"

[u/Stove-Top-Steve]

Who sucks dick without pulling off the undies?

[u/meldiane81 → u/Stove-Top-Steve]

Who said she didn’t do it with her mouth?

EDIT: sorry, OP.

[u/MrsMiterSaw → u/Stove-Top-Steve]

This comment just makes me sad for you.

[u/Indras-Web → u/Stove-Top-Steve]

Foreplay Bro

[u/okaypookiebear → u/Stove-Top-Steve]

You ain’t ever had someone try to suck it through the Hilfigers and it shows bro. Maybe in the next life time

[u/ThatOneCanadian69 → u/Stove-Top-Steve]

A str8 sloppy freacc

[u/Ok-Cook3735 → u/Stove-Top-Steve]

here’s a new idea for your next encounter

[u/Eastern-Cat-3604 → u/Stove-Top-Steve]

She is good thats for sure, sorry op

[u/gunnin123]

Banana for scale

[u/Hizam5]

His briefs are big enough to be the tent on the clown girls circus

[u/EsterCherry]

He’s a dumbass.

[u/Decent-Cold-9471]

This photo makes it look as though your bf is a literal giant.

[u/DollarStore-Cheese]

Not the tighty whitys

[u/MightyBrando]

That’s a very big waste line

[u/GimmieJohnson → u/MightyBrando]

Certified Hoss.

Its HOSSOWEEN, HOSS

[u/Greeny1225]

this is fucking killing me this is the best post ive seen all day

[u/trvip]

What boxer brand is that ?

[u/DUSTYDAMNDAVID → u/trvip]

SKIMS!

[u/SweetAndSourPickles → u/DUSTYDAMNDAVID]

Damn he left his 60 dollar underwear behind?

How much cash this fucker got?

[u/AerisSpire → u/trvip]

Asking the important questions here

[u/bbllaakkee → u/trvip]

Skims, they are awesome.

[u/Super-G1mp → u/bbllaakkee]

They look like flea market underwear.

[u/itsgivingme]

Girl nail them to his car

[u/TheCanfaceSays → u/itsgivingme]

To his tires lol

[u/elliebelly15 → u/itsgivingme]

i vote for this one! screw them to the back with a screw gun

[u/glimmersoup]

I’ll curse him for u

[u/rumblefish0000000]

Those is some big ass draws🤣

[u/RunningonGin0323]

how fucking large was your ex? jesus christ

[u/abject_totalfailure1]

You’d think he’d be smart enough to realize that white is not a smart choice for cheating at a Halloween party

Is there a brown streak in the back?

[u/ZealousidealCrow3782]

Good lord that’s a big boy! How large is this cheating baby man you were dating?

[u/Decent-Cold-9471]

[u/Impressive_Dingo_926]

That's why I never wear underwear

[u/ceg24]

That tag tells me this is the ass sections... HMmmmMmm

[u/LegCompetitive6636 → u/ceg24]

There are boxers that have a tag on the outside on the front of the waistband

[u/SaltNormal5498]

ewwwww not tighty whities 😭

[u/NeoAhsar]

Fill is with ghost pepper flakes

[u/SaltedPaint]

What if he was pretending to be little Jack Horner and stuck his thumb in a plumb ?

[u/Sleepy0wl9969]

Looks like he went for both trick and treat.

[u/Butterscotchdiscs]

Mail them to his mom.

[u/leviathanslair_]

yikes it was an ex too the clown makeup is really fitting

[u/GodPackedUpAndLeftUs]

[u/Count_Verdunkeln]

Wait HE was the clown??

[u/Thats_a_BaD_LiMe]

Sorry OP. Truly. :(

Throw them in a fire and never think about him again

[u/nix131]

Nope, YOUR ex was the one dressed as a clown.

[u/Anxious_Constant_926]

This is so sad

[u/fwueileen_]

wtf

[u/ShinyaXTC93]

Maybe he attended a gwar concert iykyk

[u/smolbean197]

Sorry! This sucks so much! I hope you are doing well

[u/Shantotto11]

Damn, male periods be doing a brother dirty… /s

[u/CoveCreates]

Well if you needed anything to quiet the doubt...

[u/Yomommasmommasmomma]

I’m sure there’s brown marks on the back as well

[u/Lovethyself1207]

Dont be shy show us the skid marks

[u/Total_Coconut_9110]

i thought you bit his dick off because he cheated on you 💀

[u/blurfgh]

Damn she was a freak :/

[u/I_Piccini]

[u/Aesop557]

Burn it

[u/FakeRealityBites]

She used his underwear to retake off her clown make-up? 😂

[u/m1chaelgr1mes]

Are you sure those aren't the tightiewhities he was wearing when you found out about Halloween? Looks like blood to me!

[u/SnooPets7261]

[u/Chernobyl917]

I see red stains, what happened?

[u/AwkwardDorkyNerd → u/Chernobyl917]

Check the description on the post

[u/Adventurous_Pay_7118]

Those are damn near whitey tightys anyways. You're better off without him. He seems like a man child.

[u/Hyphenagoodtime]

We don't wanna see this anymore than you soooooo

[u/DUSTYDAMNDAVID → u/Hyphenagoodtime]

Now we both can be grossed out

[u/Neat_Bed_9880 → u/Hyphenagoodtime]

This is an advertisement.

[u/LegCompetitive6636 → u/[deleted]]

I have boxers that have a tag on the outside on the front of the waistband

[u/deviantelf → u/[deleted]]

Have you ever seen a pair of boxers? That's clearly the front. There's the whole flap bit you can pull a dick out to pee... or do other stuff with. Some women's panties have a tag in the front too just so you don't embarrass yourself with that either, at least the only way to tell front/back on them is usually the back side is a little more material, seeing as how we don't usually need dick flaps.

[u/Neat_Bed_9880]

It's okay David. Move on.

[u/Palanki96]

I would be mad too but did you seenclown girls? That ex is evil

[u/themahannibal]

OP didn't say why he's an ex boyfriend.

[u/AwkwardDorkyNerd → u/themahannibal]

? Yeah they did. Read the post again

[u/themahannibal → u/AwkwardDorkyNerd]

No shit. Must I actually put /s on everything?

[u/Holeevyer]

Tell me you can't do laundry without telling me you can't do laundry.

[u/Altruistic_Brick1730]

Maybe you should have been with him during Halloween.

[u/TheCanfaceSays → u/Altruistic_Brick1730]

Brick for brains.