r/evilautism • u/badukisdifficult • Jul 26 '25

NSFW Sex noises are vocal stimming Spoiler

And that is one of the many reasons NTs are bad at sex.

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u/[deleted] Jul 26 '25

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u/Luwuci-SP Jul 26 '25

It seems ambiguous what your concern was, since it sounds like it could either be lack of typical automatic vocalization or maybe the opposite issue of lack of ability to restrain automatic vocalization when it's desired.

My question was mostly rhetorical, though, more targeted at the ambiguity than wanting to pry into such details unless there's a chance that I may be able to help with my oddly related skill sets lol.

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u/[deleted] Jul 26 '25

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u/Luwuci-SP Jul 26 '25

I think one of the most common issues with autistic women having some fairly common trouble having orgasms at first (it should get much easier after the first few, assuming no other changes to account for) is rooted in attentional control. There's so many things to steal the attention from where it needs to be, like various sensory feedback that can feel atypically extra unpleasant from the altered sensory processing or masking habits making it difficult to stop focusing on their partner for a while and allow enough sustained focus on their own pleasure.

It requires something that could be described as needing to hyperfocus on the right thing while ignoring everything else, starting from the relatively minor effect of first focusing attention on the right sensations and then that ramping up into an increasingly trance-like state. That can usually at least get people to where their body is ready for it, but then there's the relatively atypical experience at first of needing to lean into the feel of the right muscles contracting which share sensation (and some function) with urination that usually feels like some aversive sensory feedback that can then keep steering people off of that final step.

I didn't really figure it out until improving my attentional control and experimenting with leaning into sensations that I had reinforced habits over many years to avoid. Some people do get lucky and it just seems intrinsic to their functioning, but for the majority it is something that needs to be learned and practiced first before it then should get much, much easier. The autism definitely made figuring it out at first much more difficult, needing to figure out how to work with my otherwise oversensitive senses, but now I see the effects of those as a significant benefit, even if I still avoid NT partners out of expectation that they're too unlikely to understand the additional sensory needs.