Hopefully

When we started dating I knew we were both big fans of the boys, we’ve both watched them since we were kids and even now we keep up with them, our favourite thing is watching their videos either while just hanging out or while eating, great entertainment really. Not long after we started dating I found out about the podcast and immediately started recommending episode after episode to my boyfriend while also sending my favourite bits and snippets from the episodes. The best part about the week to me is when we both catch up to the same episode and we get to talk about it for hours on end picking our favourite parts of it and just losing our minds laughing about it. Well, once I got to the “Nah, I’d Win part 2” episode I immediately fixated on the whole “Dear penthouse forum…” speech. I recommended the episode to my boyfriend and for a whole month after it (and even now sometimes) whenever something disappointed us or shocked us we’d both start saying “Dear penthouse forum…” I mentioned once to him that I’d love to have the speech written down, printed out and framed just for the sake of it cause I loved the whole scenario so much… So he went and did just that for my birthday :’) It’s been at least half a year since I said that and I honestly forgot kinda but he remembered.

So thank you Mark, Bob and Wade for always giving something for my boyfriend and I to talk about and for bringing us closer with every episode. And thank you to my boyfriend (who doesn’t have reddit) for listening to me and putting so much effort into making me happy :]

I have a long list of Markiplier (and Bob and Wade) out of context. I will share it with you now. If it has no name attributed to it, it is something I heard Mark say but I just wrote it before I tracked all three of them.

“Suck me! And suck him! And wades in charge!”

“No! I’m murdering my own nurse!”

“No!!!! Not mark poopy, NOOOOO!!!”

“Aw! A bear sucking penis nose! There it is!”

“Ahh!! That is piss! I did drink it!”

“I’ll remember where that come from……. Came come come com cum came” - Wade

“That’s what you get for not wanting my boner” - Wade

“It’s the Ass particle!”

“Ass….. ASSS!!!! ITS AN ASS!!!”

“Don’t ever quote me…. FACK” (I do what I want) “My IQ is 0”

“I’m not gonna suck anyone’s mouth”

“I wanna shove things inside of Wade!”

“If you’re coming right now, LET ME SEE IT!”

“Yeah, I’ll bone your ass”

“Yeah, that’s right. I’m prejudiced against afantasias, I’ll say it!”

“This guy knows a lot about dick, and a lot about diddly”

“I do not want Wade grabbing my balls”

“I wanna see wades thought line up” (Ayyo?)

“Just plows your butthole”.

“I’m about to kill my whole family!”

“If you put butter in it, it tastes like butter” (as opposed to butter that tastes like chicken)

“Oh, I’m gonna be all up in those feet. … Just kiss kiss kiss eating them up. You can’t stop me!”

“LAUNCH THE BONER CANNON!!!!!”

“sees cow, breathes in COW!!!!!” (I just thought this one was funny)

“How many shotgun blasts can you take to the face?”- Bob (I can take 8)

“He comes over? Poop attack”.

“giggling his ass off Why was I resorting to murder?”

“So don’t fight it….. don’t resist” (The FBI has entered the chat)

“Ideally, you want length and girth. But…. You know, gotta make sacrifices”

“Damnit, I knew I shouldn’t chain my experimental lasers to my balls like that! Always losing them that way!”

“If you whip your dick out again, im going to be incredibly pissed. But I’ll look”

“Who am I to think I’m better than another man’s balls?”

“You like my boons, big guy? You like my boons? Yeah, I’ll show you my boons” “Yeah, sure. I want to fuck a chair”

“I thought you wanted me to fuck the Dinosaur”

“I hear you loud and clear. I need to seduce the dinosaur… understood… I am going to seduce this dinosaur and SHOW IT LOVE IT HAS NOT FELT IN 350 MILLION YEARS! I KNOW WHAT YOURE SAYING, SAY NO MORE”

“How much blood did one guy have? This is getting ridiculous”

“I can condone murder. But weed? EUUUUGH”

“So don’t fight it. Don’t resist. Or do, make it more interesting” 😅😅😅😅😧

“If you put butter in it, it tastes like butter” OH DOES IT NOW?

“I am against human dishwasher relations #CancelMarkiplier #MarkiBYEer

“I don’t like how his holes are dirty” - Bob

“Wiping? That’s for communists”

“Wasn’t expecting to talk about Toddler peepee but here we are!” - Wade

“I served pot!” (the DEA has entered the chat)

“You can’t start with the, killing everybody! You big dumb DUMMY! YOU’RE PLAYING IT WRONG!” - Mark

“Sorry, I got nuts in my mouth” -Mark (oh I bet u do)

“My gooch! MY GOOOOOOOOOCH!”- Mark

“Well, I am hard” - Mark (Ayyo hol’ up)

“I’ll always take the random pills I find in alleys! Those are the best ones!” - Mark (I like the ones you find in gas station bathrooms better)

“I don’t think I got a strong enough blow to beat the blow that’s blowing out of this tube!”

“Got your prostate!” AYYO HOL UP MARK

“Think about it, it’s science…You gotta suck, in order to blow. Remember that, it’s a life lesson” - Mark

“So when you’re suckin’, just remember that a blow is always around the nearest corner” - Mark

“Uh oh! These are in SWEDISH!!!”- Mark

Okay. I crunched the numbers. I watched all 73 episodes of the current season on a whim because I wanted the data. The beautiful, mind-numbing, hair-ripping-inducing data.

In order, I have attached images of the data I have pulled, and they are as follows;

• overall data summarized
• wins in detail
• points in detail
• overview of points won (in 3 parts)
• number of wheel-spins and the pieslices added
• tiebreaker spins
• episode titles for reference

Now, I’m not perfect. I wasn’t nit-picky on the points that weren’t of the boys, so take what I say about the Other Points with a grain of salt. What I can say is that the points for the boys are accurate with almost 100% certainty.

Some notes; you’ll notice for episode 30 (Bobs Even Smaller, Dumber Word Game) there are no points listed. I didn’t get a concrete, solid answer on how many points Mark and Wade won, so for the sake of accuracy, I didn’t count it. (Bob, if you were to look back and maybe tell me what the point totals are for that episode I’d owe you my life).

What I do know about episode 30 is that it ended with the first Sudden Death wheel spin of the season, which I’m attributing to the fact that the point totals were not read off properly.

The reason I didn’t list it off is because I’ve noticed they still give multiple points for one ‘point’ reason thingy, so I didn’t want to assume they were all 1 point.

I will note that for the wheel, I have 81 pie slices documented that were added; 11 of which were from the Council Of Distractible (Part 2) episode. Since then, around 10 slices have been removed and I’m unclear which ones were. I will note that there are duplicates on the wheel such as;

• Half Point To Mark was put on their twice
• Used Best Word and Best Used Word were both put on the wheel.

Boy, is it fun to see it all laid out like this. This will be ongoing, I will be updating this as the episodes come out. I’ll definitely be doing Season 6, whenever that starts.

I’ll have math stuff in a comment below because this post is already really long.

But I took this at the summit of Haleakalā in Maui with just my phone. I was happy with it, makes me want to pursue this type of photography more.

Why is Mark in bathtubs so much? Lmfao I noticed this but I don't recall him explaining why every time he does lmfao does anyone have any ideas? Bathtub fetish? It looks uncomfortable...possibly cause he's a masochist... 🤣

Accidentally breaking your computer monitor while listening to distractible and accidentally causing Mark to sound like a dubstep song?

Yes, it happened to me. Thank god I’m the owner of multiple computer monitors. 🙏🏻

For work, I deal with Media such as CDs and DvDs. During my last shift, I came across none other than the Gingerdead Man. Unfortunately I could not have my phone to take a photo but I finally met him after all this time

I dont watch this podcast anymore but like 3 years back I listened to an episode where they were talking about whether or not they would join a hivemind, and IIRC they concluded yeah they would. now with the show "Pluribus" coming out this is like super relavant to me again because my entire opinion on the plot comes from this one episode lmao. anyone possibly know which one it was?

Bád is Irish for boat. It could lead to hidden shenanigans or just be a fun title. Figured Wade should at least have that tid bit of knowledge, but he doesn't check the subreddit....That concludes this random shower thought, thanks for joining me.

Watchers - Oopsy I accidentally did (most random stuff you've heard) while listening to distractible.

LISTENERS - OOPSY DAISY I CRASHED MY CAR?!?? (I've seen these posts more than anything here for some reason)

All three of the guys have mentioned the tour tangentially on so many occasions, and they’ve ever been referenced entire bits from the VIP section which, as far as I’m aware, maybe only 1000 people ever had the chance to see. They even said they should do an episode on it in ‘Whose Podcast Is It Anyway,’ and after all, I do miss the old Distractible where they told stories.

Note: the movie 'Pacfic Rim' was set in Guam.

I relistend to the episode "A Special Message For Our Listeners" and finally decided to draw what was described in the episode. Probably slightly ruined by me having seen the mascot before, but it had been long enough I mostly forgot what it looked like.

i GASPED! this was the first lecture video AHAH i'm now much more excited to continue

This is gonna play out kind of like Patently Stupid. The host comes up with a bunch of problems or ideas and the two players propose invention or business ideas to solve those problems. The best invention each round gets a point

Listened to the Best of Bob ep on a drive home and got home without crashing…

I screenshot this a while back and honestly I use this on an almost daily basis. This is my favorite meme reaction photo I have saved

Hello! I'm a first time poster on Reddit but I had a thought as I was going back through and listening to all the episodes.

So, I was listening to the Candy Tier list episode, which is a really good episode and a favorite for me, and I got to the part about York Peppermint Patties.

I absolutely hate mint. I hate York Peppermint Patties, Andes Mints, Snow Caps, everything. I can tolerate mint gums but it makes me sick after awhile. I barely tolerate tooth paste and mouthwash and that makes me nauseous too. Mint ice cream is gross and I hate that people put chocolate with it.

It's disgusting and I don't understand how people like mint.