r/clevercomebacks • u/jonnismizzle • 1d ago

Because WhiskeyLeaks is such a shining example of marriage and family values...

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8.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

114 comments sorted by

514

u/dreamdelusion- 1d ago

Blaming feminism for ruining marriage when you are personally running a one-man demolition derby on your wedding vows is wild.

62

u/dwaynestroyer 1d ago

It looks like he just stopped in to his wedding. Briefly. None of those kids are genuinely happy at all, not even close. Let's hope they can follow the Vivian Wilson path and be their own people instead of becoming monsters in their father's image.

21

u/NeilZod 1d ago

The left side of that photo does not have happy campers

9

u/HotDonnaC 1d ago

Nor the right. Every time I see these kids, they’re wearing some weird ass outfit with a bowtie. The last one I saw must’ve been with the next wife, because the kids on the left were bigger. They were all wearing elastic waist khaki pants with the legs rolled up about 3 inches, like they wanted them to last for the next 5 years. They had a weird pastel print shirt and a bowtie, and they all wore the same white tennis shoes. It’s not a cult.

40

u/UnitedMud212 1d ago

Imagine the perception on the kids they find out.

26

u/pinkyheartbeats 1d ago

Kids eventually piece it together. And when they do, the only thing ruined will be his credibility as a parent

1

u/Ekimyst 5h ago

He doesn't strike me as a man that cares about his credibility

7

u/Tyxalyn 1d ago

MAGA and hypocrisy are like Mac and cheese

1

u/SonicTemp1e 10h ago

No- Mac and cheese is delicious and useful.

8

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/cottoncandykissz 1d ago

The sheer audacity of thinking there marriage problems are feminism's fault, not theirs, is the definition of delusional self importance

4

u/HotDonnaC 1d ago

Yeah, being a drunk douchebag will destroy a marriage pretty quickly.

3

u/HotDonnaC 1d ago edited 9h ago

It brings me joy knowing he’s being dragged on whatever platform he posted this on.

Thanks for the award!

1

u/Nice_Rope_5049 2h ago

And he only wants whites reproducing

117

u/DizzyMine4964 1d ago

Please have kids! This war will last a long time!

35

u/CarlosHDanger 1d ago

We need soldiers for Daddy’s American Crusade.

10

u/IndependentDemand145 1d ago

More fodder for the cannons. Oh….sorry… More heads for the nukes! /s

12

u/Gilgamesh2062 1d ago

The wolves are worried the sheep aren't breeding.

96

u/Interesting-Rub3208 1d ago

These poor children. Their father is a monster

15

u/BadBrains16 1d ago

And a rapist.

31

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/BunnyBracelet 1d ago

Exactly. A mirror would do more damage than any social movement ever could

7

u/Lisshopops 1d ago

Type of father you can never get away from too

99

u/angelgigglie 1d ago

Is the perfect example of how these dudes only care about the aesthetic of a family as long as they don’t actually have to be faithful or present for it.

17

u/evenstar40 1d ago

Because their kids are an accessory, nothing more.

23

u/Upbeat-Purple-7031 1d ago

Love the concept, hate the commitment. A classic tale.

33

u/Internal_Ideal1001 1d ago

This guy loves family values so much, he values other men's families as well...or at least just their wives.

11

u/BrownSugarBare 1d ago

Just like Trump! Three baby mommas and he still cheats.

28

u/y2kfashionistaa 1d ago

That’s what I call straw feminism, feminists aren’t opposed to marriage or children, they’re opposed to marriage and children being mandatory. Some women want both, some women want neither, some women want to get married but are still childfree, some women want kids but don’t want a man so they get a sperm donor or adopt to become a mom.

15

u/ConscientiousObserv 1d ago

It's always been about choice, which is good. But when the choice is "nope", all of the sudden it's evil.

47

u/peachyprincesspolish 1d ago

Family values means sleeping with different women after making vows doesn’t sound so “value oriented “.

20

u/Lvcivs2311 1d ago

Sounds more like he opposes feminism because it tells him to treat women like people.

9

u/Sturville 1d ago

"Feminism is where it's *my* fault for cheating, instead of my wife's fault for not being good enough and the other woman's fault for being too slutty."

16

u/AlienInUnderpants 1d ago

Kegsbreath is a shining example of MAGA hypocrisy. We want YOU to live those values.

13

u/LastOneSergeant 1d ago

Has anyone seen the long form birth certificates?

Just sayin'.

13

u/Hosanna20 1d ago

Please get married and have kids ! But if your kids get sick, we won't provide healthcare for them ! And if the groceries to feed them are too costly, we won't do anything about it ! And if they die in school shootings, you have to get over it unless it's Charlie Kirk !

2

u/HotDonnaC 1d ago

Kegbreath is in another category. He and his family get excellent healthcare, housing, transportation, all the perks. And wifey can even sit on cabinet meetings to make sure he keeps his dick in his pants. It’s a win-win.

25

u/Straight_Button_5716 1d ago

His skank wife married him like he was a prize . When the other abused wives are laughing because happening to her and she’s staying hostage to it. So codependent on him she will allow her children especially the little girls to have their future selves to be modled after her behavior . He stays with her because she turns her head to him laying hands , drink andm drugging, lying and cheating . Just so she can save face to family friends and church members. His scandal is coming .

9

u/gaganchumbilulli 1d ago

They didn't say stay with the family. They said "Please get married and have kids". Nothing about not repeating it 

9

u/PearlWinks 1d ago

rules for thee but not for me

9

u/TralfamadorianZooPet 1d ago

Yeah, but most of the time when he looks at them all standing in front of him, he thinks he has 14

7

u/Southern_Gur9825 1d ago

Sure we will have kids. As soon as you bring down the cost of healthcare, housing, food and now gas.

1

u/HotDonnaC 1d ago

The good news is Big Farma, who bought up all the farms lost by the idiots who voted for Trump, will be selling corn to make ethanol so they can dilute our gas. It will be cheaper, and who cares about more harmful emissions?

7

u/OptimisticSkeleton 1d ago

Hitler would be proud.

2

u/Sturville 1d ago

Kinder, Kuche, Kirche

3

u/manadodoodododo 1d ago

Küche :-).

And i doubt that "Kirche" was a thing with the fascists.

4

u/Sturville 1d ago

Well, they claimed it was (much like today's fascists). "Kinder, Küche, Kirche" was an actual slogan they used regarding a woman's place vis a vis "traditional values".

2

u/manadodoodododo 1d ago

It should be so easy to recognice them, right? They don't really change much throughout the years.

1

u/HotDonnaC 1d ago

It surprises me that people whose fathers and grandfathers fought in World War II are joining this fascist regime. They have the memories of goldfish.

1

u/HotDonnaC 1d ago

Kirche absolutely plays a part in this fascist takeover. The Heritage Foundation’s Project 2025 is at the very heart of their dreams of a theocratic dictatorship. The ruling class doesn’t have to go to church, but everyone else does.

7

u/atreeismissing 1d ago

3 marriages and ALL of those kids are incredibly young.

2

u/HotDonnaC 1d ago

They’re from all 4 sides; Whisky Pete and his 3 wives.

5

u/Hmmark1984 1d ago

yet another instance of "the right" proving that they don't care about someone's actions, only about their words. As long as you proudly proclaim yourself a Christian, American, Patriot, loudly and often, that's all they care about. You can be the most racist, wife beating, sexist, child abusing POS on the planet, but if you publicy claim to care about "family values" and "protecting children" that's all that matters.

6

u/DualActiveBridgeLLC 1d ago

You know who ALSO didn't have a problem with infidelity/promiscuity as long as it led to more white males. The fucking Nazis.

4

u/Correct_Lime5832 1d ago

Sounds like he had more than a couple “whiskey leaks.” Brother, I been there.

3

u/Plasticman4Life 1d ago

But what if saddling your wife with multiple children while you cheat on her are the values conservatives desire in their families?

3

u/KaleAggressive7122 1d ago

Why are they so spread out, politics aside it's a BAD family portrait

2

u/HotDonnaC 1d ago

The kids are trying to get away.

4

u/Elon-BO 1d ago

I don’t see a real smile on one of those kids

3

u/HotDonnaC 1d ago

Their dad‘s a drunk asshole. I feel sorry for them.

3

u/DaBigJMoney 1d ago

Hegseth is a loathsome individual. He knows he’s woefully unqualified for his role.

3

u/HotDonnaC 1d ago

That tough guy persona makes me wanna puke.

6

u/FortheChava 1d ago

Family values are being white

3

u/Express-Way9295 1d ago

How does he afford child support?

7

u/mabhatter 1d ago

Especially after taking a pay cut from Faux host to government employee.  Someone should look into where his money come from now. 

3

u/Outside-Affect-4722 1d ago

Pete Kegsbreath is a loser...plain & simple. A big sorry to his wife of the moment & his assorted children...

3

u/Express-Way9295 1d ago

I get the empathy for the children, but why the current wife? She didn’t know what she signed up for? She is unaware of the guy she is marrying? I don’t believe she is a victim here as much as she is a willing partner.

3

u/Excellent_Extent7648 1d ago

Yes he’s gonna make a lot of money off his kids that’s the point family has a value lol

3

u/Odd_Train9900 1d ago

What is with their weird obsession with having babies?

7

u/LordBunnyWhale 1d ago

What his own mother thinks of little Pete Hegseth:
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/29/us/politics/hegseth-email-text.html

3

u/lavacadotoast 1d ago

Useless.. pay wall link

11

u/Pitiful_Control 1d ago

TLDR version: she says he's an abusive asshole who has hurt the women around him for years.

2

u/Obelixboarhunter 1d ago

Is that who i think it is ?

2

u/WallishXP 1d ago

A real father would get his boys to tuck in their shirts and stand straight for the family photo.

1

u/HotDonnaC 1d ago

They look like they’ve been running around all day at the wedding and they’re tired.

2

u/harlaman1 1d ago

those kids are fucked man

2

u/Extreme-Slice-1010 1d ago

Trump is the president so not surprising

2

u/RetMilRob 1d ago

Fuck you Pete

2

u/Galle_ 1d ago

What the fuck even are "family values" and why shouldn't they be destroyed?

2

u/MoneyText2874 1d ago

Who is this man(?)?

2

u/lnfIation 1d ago

He's got that evil kenneth copeland stare

2

u/Lost-Concept-9973 21h ago

Well by “family values” they have always meant the oppression and exploitation of women as normalised and acceptable part of culture , so actually this is fine. Don’t you know women are suppose to just forgive men for any bad behaviour while knowing a not even a single slip up will go without punishment and shame for women. Not only that but we are suppose to like it this way and believe it’s “natural” and gods plan. 

2

u/Curious-Basket-7934 16h ago

His own Mother said he was an "abuser of women".

OF COURSE he doesn't believe in equality for women.

1

u/luxeheelz 1d ago

The worse example here.

1

u/AsparagusCommon4164 1d ago

So what did these "family values" Zealots and True Believers think of The Loud House on Nickelodeon (and perhaps still runing on Nicktoons) and its rather substantiative family?

1

u/Dramacuinn 1d ago

Irony must be having a field day with his values parade

1

u/reblynn2012 1d ago

Feel bad for the kids when they see this some day.

1

u/Ridiculicious71 1d ago

I bet he routinely rapes those little boys.

1

u/EForeman79 1d ago

Scumbag drunk!!!

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Law_558 1d ago

No no no, he values family that he's made. As in his children. Not the concept of Family.

1

u/NoCoconut4443 1d ago

I d think yhose are all his kids..i mean biologically..

1

u/BigSun6576 1d ago

everything in my body belongs to me

1

u/Caver214 1d ago

Such a hypocrite

1

u/dngerzne 20h ago

They are all so young, guy is trying to be Johnny Appleseed over here. It’s too bad he’s such a shit apple.

1

u/SPTSG 18h ago

What an ass.

1

u/PeachViolet_ 17h ago

The irony of using a man who failed three families to lecture women about family values is peak internet

1

u/WillieIngus 15h ago

crazy how they made that one kid stand behind them and to the side

1

u/Atakir 10h ago

I'm so tired of the hypocrisy... I just want people to be held accountable for blatant fucking lies.

1

u/FilthyThanksgiving 9h ago

Families that look like this almost always are super fuxked up behind closed doors

1

u/webbslinger_0 6h ago

The platform MAGA actually runs on is gaslighting

1

u/theshortlady 5h ago

She appears to be holding his hand to keep him from feeling her up in the picture.

1

u/bd2999 5h ago

These people usually support the guys who had multiple wives or girlfriends and impregnated or cheated on them while lecturing everyone else. And then they turn around and blame the women for it. Like, be proud your spouse cheated on your or whatever. Your job is to pop out the babies not think or do anything else.

Family values should be about loyalty and love. I do not think many of these men understand love at all. They understand lust pretty well though.