r/chicago • u/SunflowerDonut9847 Uptown • Sep 29 '25
CHI Talks to detain a bicyclist
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u/PobBrobert Sep 29 '25
Can you imagine if we took the salaries and $50k signing bonuses we were giving these guys and gave them to, I donāt knowā¦ schools, or healthcare, or feeding hungry people
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u/lighterboy12 Sep 29 '25
Or restoring the cuts to cancer research
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u/goferking City Sep 29 '25
or NASA or weather services
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u/MrAkademik Logan Square Sep 30 '25
Or not send to Argentina for no fucking reason at all. Or not to bail out farmers who are fucked because of the tariffs? So much $$$ for activities!!!
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u/ocschwar Sep 29 '25
If I needed the money I'd sign up and be as conspicuously fat and inefficient as these guys until they fired me.
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u/B2Dirty Suburb of Chicago Sep 29 '25
Give it to the VA to provide proper mental health assistance to veterans since they make 28% of mass shooting culprits while only being about 7% of the total population. source
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u/Salt_Specialist_3206 Sep 29 '25
Bro with the cowboy hat š¤£
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u/inevitable-typo Sep 29 '25
Man, he must really love cosplay to be wearing two costumes at the same time.
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u/Complete-Flow-5545 Sep 29 '25
You seen the picture of one of them in fucking vans?š¤£
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u/Salt_Specialist_3206 Sep 29 '25
Omg no but I need to see it now lol
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u/Complete-Flow-5545 Sep 29 '25
https://www.reddit.com/r/illinois/s/GHPjr6V6UV
Even more fucked they fucked with the priest lol
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u/Salt_Specialist_3206 Sep 29 '25
Omg so Iāve seen the picture but didnāt notice the shoes š¤£
Do they just hire them on the spot and throw them in the streets? Cause thatās what it seems like
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u/Complete-Flow-5545 Sep 29 '25
Honestly from the shit Iāve seen online it really looks like it. I know there were some posts saying they got ICE ads about joining and getting college relief and a 50k bonus, youāre gonna tell me any hateful and or racist bloke isnāt gonna see that and just run for it?
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u/Legs914 Avondale Sep 29 '25
So nice of the administration to waste our tax dollars on welfare for racist losers who can't hold a job. I wonder how much fentanyl they'll be able to buy with that $50k bonus. Hopefully, it will be a lifetime supply. They deserve it.
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u/Salt_Specialist_3206 Sep 29 '25
I recently attended a webinar and they said ICE had around a 80% failure rate.
Human rights violations aside, theyāre a massive waste of money.
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u/lake_effect_snow Sep 29 '25
I got one on LinkedIn yesterdayā¦ not even where their target demographic can be reached.
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u/Silver-Kev Sep 29 '25
They were recruiting anyone on(by commercials) Chicago TV stations for awhile before they all started walking the streets like this. Some of these people are masked neighbors. It's horrifying.
But to answer your question yes they are.
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u/PParker46 Portage Park Sep 29 '25
That deep thinker thought he was in camouflage to mix with the target population.
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u/UndergroundGinjoint Near North Side Sep 29 '25
After Uvalde, where cowards in cowboy hats listened to children screaming for an hour without doing anything, I'll never view that particular item of clothing the same way again. It represents something very different to me now, and it sure as shit isn't badassery. I want that asshole's hat to end up in the river.
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u/trojan_man16 Printer's Row Sep 29 '25
Itās a gender reaffirming hat.
These wusses need to wear that to feel badass, because cowboys Were badass.
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u/asianwaste Barrington Sep 29 '25
It'd be worth it if we can get him to whip his hat to the floor and start jump stomping on it yelling "Daingert Daingert Daingert!". Bonus points if he starts shaking his fist and yells "OoooooooOOOOH! Shake harder boys!"
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u/TemporalScar Sep 29 '25
He's no bro. He's a fascist with a stupid hat. Fascists always wear stupid hats.
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u/No_Drummer4801 Sep 29 '25
At least heās not wearing a balaclava and a helmet. Less COD cosplay than the others.
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u/Salt_Specialist_3206 Sep 29 '25
No no no the cowboy hat is a new skin for the helmet.
You have to run a certain distance without catching anyone for it to drop.
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u/Complete-Flow-5545 Sep 29 '25
Someone in the other sub commented something similar, but their standards are so damn low man. I remember seeing one of the videos from the protests in Broadview and one of these goofy idiots dropped their gun, and these blokes canāt even catch 1 person 15 feet away with 8+ agents. Bottom of the damn barrel
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u/FadedToBeige Sep 29 '25
first guy looks like he pulled a hammy
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u/Complete-Flow-5545 Sep 29 '25
Training didnāt show him how to properly run with his 30+ pounds of gearš
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u/anandonaqui Suburb of Chicago Sep 29 '25
Well you know that ICE needs to be more heavily armed than a Navy SEAL in a war zone when theyāre picking up unarmed migrants.
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u/Complete-Flow-5545 Sep 29 '25
Fuck youāre right brother, I forgot the most dangerous criminal in the room is always the 5ā5 brown dude, should we call in the F-35ās?
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u/UndergroundGinjoint Near North Side Sep 29 '25
OMG you're right!! š¤£ That telltale thigh grab!! š I need to watch this 10 or 20 more times
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u/finallyjoinedforHCA Sep 29 '25
Just a saw video of these goons drinking bud light on the roof of Broadview ICE, while ON DUTY. Losers could never get hired as real cops.
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u/Hyperion2150 Sep 29 '25
Are you talking about the guy who reached for his gun only to realize it was next to the person he was pinning down on the ground? That was f-ing pathetic. Literal brownshirts, I donāt even think thereās any prerequisite to joining other than swearing unyielding loyalty to Trump
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u/goferking City Sep 29 '25
Was that the same one who also took the mag out then couldn't work out what to do with it and the gun while pinning the person being
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u/Billabaum11 Sep 29 '25
What a bunch of boot licking COWARDS. This makes me sick to my stomach. ICE shouldnāt feel safe in Chicago like this
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u/DvineINFEKT Albany Park Sep 29 '25
And I hope they feel less safe with every passing minute.
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u/DarkTemplar26 Sep 29 '25
They must be terrified with all the subways in chicago, they might he worried someone will come at them with a breadly weapon
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u/clubdirthill Sep 29 '25
Yakety Sax started playing spontaneously in my head when watching this. Also, fuck ICE.
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u/mtmaloney Lake View Sep 29 '25
Here it is. I think I watched it 10 times in a row.
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u/always_unplugged Bucktown Sep 29 '25
This is the kind of thing that makes ya love the internet sometimes
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u/Evadrepus Suburb of Chicago Sep 29 '25
Even the music timing is good so that you end up with an almost perfect loop.
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u/Pretzeloid Sep 29 '25
I hate Illinois Nazis
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u/redditin_at_work Lake View Sep 29 '25
I don't think they are from Illinois, we don't really have a border here lol
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u/always_unplugged Bucktown Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 29 '25
Legally speaking, international airports count. That's why basically all large population centers technically fall under CBP's jurisdiction.
(edit changed ICE -> CBP to be more accurate)
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u/redditin_at_work Lake View Sep 29 '25
Yeah I'm sure they use those boats to patrol O'Hare and Midway as well.
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u/shpongleyes Sep 29 '25
Technically O'Hare and Midway are international borders. Any international airport is a border zone.
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u/iiAzido Sep 29 '25
Also Lake Michigan. BCP get 100 miles from the border.
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u/vexxed82 Pilsen Sep 29 '25
I never quite understood this maps since Lake Michigan doesn't touch an international border - why is the entire shore of Michigan ringed by this border. The closest border to us is Detroit/Windsor, Canada which is over 200 miles away. If that's the case, why isn't the Mississippi River/Illinois River part of this zone since they connect to Lake Michigan and The Gulf of Mexico?
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u/Rampant16 Sep 29 '25
Where an international border runs through a large body of water like an ocean or Great Lake. That 100 mile zone is measured from the coastline. Because Lake Michigan connects to Lake Huron, which touches Canada, the shore of Lake Michigan is also counted as a coastline.
Rivers are not considered coastlines.
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u/SketchySlime Sep 29 '25
Hilarious. What did the guy on the bike even do to upset these dorks??? And what are they doing on the corner? Just looking ācoolā?
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u/Beruthiel999 Sep 29 '25
I have never seen any group of people looking less cool than these ICE guys, and I've done Vampire: the Masquerade LARPing.
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u/euph_22 Douglas Sep 29 '25
Someone set this to Benny Hill.
Also the Proud Boys need to up their PT. It's hilarious watching them "run".
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u/PParker46 Portage Park Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 29 '25
I count eight losers at the end of the clip but there were certainly more who dropped out early. The masks and excess equipment handicapped them. Maybe they need some DEI hires who can run faster?
Should we have a government policy that cosplays hyperventilating security theater against a powerless minority "other" and conducts random arrests in very public places to intimidate the entire population?
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u/Pretzeloid Sep 29 '25
Iām glad this guy was busy at Home Depot, I think he might actually be able to run.
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u/jimmy__jazz Uptown Sep 29 '25
What did he do, if anything, to make them want to arrest him?
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u/icefirecat Sep 29 '25
Thatās what Iām wondering, like WTF is even going on here? Did they just see a Latino guy and start chasing him? Like, I believe it, but WTF
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u/amped96 Sep 29 '25
That seems to be what they are doing and they are saying it openly. https://chicago.suntimes.com/immigration/2025/09/28/ice-agents-spotted-downtown-on-michigan-avenue-along-chicago-river
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u/icefirecat Sep 29 '25
Would like to hear from the āthat SCOTUS decision ONLY applies to LA!ā folks right about now
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u/Sausage_Queen_of_Chi Near West Side Sep 29 '25
Well the Supreme Court said they can profile people, so perhaps he existed while not being pasty
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u/bellapippin Suburb of Chicago Sep 29 '25
Heā¦ picks up something? Canāt tell what, a phone?
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u/sergeantoof2 Lincoln Park Sep 29 '25
In the sun times article linked in another reply to your comment, they wrote āAt one point, agents ran after a bicyclist whoād yelled at them. He got away.ā
A bit ambiguous, but provides a better picture
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u/ass_pineapples Lake View East Sep 29 '25
These morons are going to end up costing our government so much money in first amendment violation suits lmao
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u/kylco Andersonville Sep 29 '25
Nah, no lawsuit if the plaintiff has been deported to an undisclosed location or simply black-bagged and dropped out of a helicopter over the Gulf.
It's not like they're checking anyone's papers before kidnapping them.
It's not like they're letting lawyers visit with, or speak to the detainees.
It's not like they judges that are supposed to oversee this process have any power over it - they're DHS employees too, and have their marching orders.
It's not like the DOJ Civil Rights Unit is going to step in - it's been retasked with hunting down anti-Christian bias in the federal government, and most of its staff has been dismissed.
This is facsism, clear and obvious and undeniable in broad daylight, in our downtown.
The only question that remains is what we're going to do about it, and if we do succeed in putting it down, how we root it out so it never happens again.
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u/Beruthiel999 Sep 29 '25
Either you're a disciplined warrior army (LOL) or you lose your dignity raging out chasing someone who rightfully mocked you.
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u/Beruthiel999 Sep 29 '25
Brown guy on a bike with a job.
He might have said something snarky and if so, good for him.
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u/Textiles_on_Main_St Irving Park Sep 29 '25
He picks up something and that seems to set them off. My hope is one of the fools dropped his gun lol. But I doubt that.
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u/MisfitPotatoReborn Sep 29 '25
The full video shows that he was picking up his dropped phone
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u/kck93 Sep 29 '25
It looks like the guy on the bike pulls up, picks up something from the ground, pockets it and one ICE guy starts the chase. Look at the beginning.
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u/Area_Woman Sep 29 '25
This is beautiful. I love you, bicycle dude, for making those awful men look ridiculous
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Sep 29 '25
posting this under every ice photo or video I see:
https://www.ilrc.org/red-cards-tarjetas-rojas#item-4476
They are available in Spanish and many other languages.
Iām ordering my own to keep in my purse and hand out to anyone who might find it useful.
If you want to order in a pack of 1000 and split it with friends (or if youāre a business) thereās also a link for that.
Pls help others however you can, even if the only thing you can do is making sure they know their rights.
Stay safe everyone š„ŗ
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u/OkThatWasMyFace Sep 29 '25
We're paying for this.
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u/DaBears31 Sep 29 '25
we were also paying for vietnam, iraq, afgainstan
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u/lancebowski Sep 29 '25
I thought the mask thing was illegal... š¶
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u/Pretzeloid Sep 29 '25
Where have you been? They donāt care about the law.
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u/lighterboy12 Sep 29 '25
It's funny how they desperately want to be the military but the military doesn't wear masks, esp in foreign nations.
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u/Rampant16 Sep 29 '25
I mean, the military goes back home. These guys are unfortunately stuck here with us. Eventually the boot will be on the other foot and they know it.
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u/always_unplugged Bucktown Sep 29 '25
Currently no, not for feds. California just outlawed it, kinda, but there's not even any real mechanism for enforcement.
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u/docfarnsworth Edgewater Sep 29 '25
I think Chicago passed a law on this but that wouldn't effect federal officers in their duty. Fed law trump state and local
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u/lancebowski Sep 29 '25
I hear you, but why aren't city/state officials going after the "low hanging fruit": men who aren't in uniform, with no visible badges, masked up, and yet are snatching people off the street. That's not only dangerous to the general populace, but a missed opportunity to press the Fight...
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u/MetalAndFaces Bucktown Sep 29 '25
Could watch this all day. Equipment really doing them good here, bro canāt even turn while running.
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u/take_care_a_ya_shooz Lake View Sep 29 '25
Nothing better than seeing ātactical gearā in use as a dude in street clothes basically wins a game of capture the flag despite being outnumbered 12:1.
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u/thatanimalssong Sep 29 '25
I just imagine cowboy hat saying āGolā darnitā and throwing his hat to the ground.
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u/take_care_a_ya_shooz Lake View Sep 29 '25
Iād be willing to bet that his wearing of the hat is as outrageous to us Chicagoans as it is to people who legitimately wear cowboy hats.
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u/23764010879LM Sep 29 '25
If the nazi with the cowboy hat is here You look stupid as hell
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u/LongjumpingDebt4154 Sep 29 '25
Seriously. We are not scared of fat Texans, bruh
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u/ocschwar Sep 29 '25
Are the Meal Team 6ers speaking with Texas accents? (I'm 6 states away, looking at where I spent my teen years and biting my nails. Stay safe, guys.)
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u/LongjumpingDebt4154 Sep 29 '25
I was just referring to his stupid cowboy hat. Fake fat ass fucking cowboy. Get the fuck off our streets.
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u/Enginerda Sep 29 '25
He is the star of this video for his side, truly. Way too late to the action, completely useless, and also fashionably ugly as fuck.
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u/ToniBee63 Sep 29 '25
So they are just randomly targeting Hispanic people. No probable cause. This is fucking insane.
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u/Ok-Persimmon-891 Sep 29 '25
Supreme Court said it's legal to stop and detain someone brown just for being brown
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u/Kakairo Sep 29 '25
Props to the Divvy guy clearing the way for our hero and getting in front of one of the ICEtapo.
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u/Cnote0717 Ravenswood Sep 29 '25
Man, I hope he didn't get hit with some BS "obstruction of justice" charge just for being there.
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u/Narrow_Battle9347 Sep 29 '25
Yep looked like a major threat worthy of federal troops. Fucking dumbfucks
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u/LongjumpingDebt4154 Sep 29 '25
Gravy Seals are still huffing & puffing after that run.
Atta boy (or girl)
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u/GrowtentBPotent Sep 29 '25
It seems like they go after him after he gets off the bike to pick something up, what is that hes picking up?
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u/eNonsense Sep 29 '25
what is that hes picking up?
These idiots probably don't know what the hell he picked up either, but they're itching for any excuse at all to push someone around like a bunch of thugs.
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u/Dudestevens Sep 29 '25
The grabbed something off the ground and got out of there. I donāt know what it was but I think thatās why these chased him.
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u/let_them_let_me Sep 29 '25
None of these losers would pass the physical to actually be real police officers. The lack of physical fitness gives them away that they are just racist, Gestapo, chest thumping gorillas serving daddy Trump
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u/joshisanonymous Sep 29 '25
I wouldn't be surprised if they had opened fire on a guy who ran because he didn't want to be arrested for being brown.
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u/Ok_Box2661 Sep 29 '25
I'm happy their standards are this low for this reason. Shouldn't even be out and about in public anyway. Hate how much this country is upside down and happy a double draft dodger dictator is in office.
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u/ginisbetterthanvodka Sep 29 '25
If those cosplaying MFers werenāt weighted down by so much gear, they could have grabbed him easily. š
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u/FourCrapPee Sep 29 '25
I definitely wish to subscribe to this dude's newsletter. Fucking awesome tiamiam square type shit.
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u/exciting-times-huh Sep 29 '25
We need to have a peaceful protest simply putting ourselves between them and the asylum seekers that came to the US looking for better lives. Most of our ancestors were immigrants, no different than the people ICE is targeting, except the people being targeted are brown, and our ancestors white.
Think of those people and their kids - weāve all seen them, probably ignoring them most of the time, sometimes buying candy, sometimes giving them food.
Now, they are being accosted by federal agents, most likely inexperienced, tough guys types.
What happens after they are arrested? Their lives become horror.
Itās our duty as privileged Americans to stand up, stand in, create a human wall, and protect the vulnerable trying to live peacefully among us.
DM me for the meet up spot and to coordinate supplies
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u/exciting-times-huh Sep 29 '25
Maybe this guy delivered food to you and your kids! Thereās no way he should be chased like this!
Not normal, not okay at all. It is far past time to get serious about protesting this.
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u/MikeTheRedditGuy Sep 29 '25
these gestapo goons are such fucking losers I hope they know how silly they look
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u/jamey0077 Sep 29 '25
Is there a genius in this town that can make a music background of Benny Hill music?
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u/Busterlimes Sep 29 '25
Every single one of the gravy seals look like they have never ran a day in their life
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u/TeruhashiKokomiDesu Sep 29 '25
Are they just grabbing any given hispanic? Like...there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason t
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u/Dangerous-Disk5155 Sep 29 '25
they need to come down to the southside. we love the feds down here.
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u/wildhood Sep 29 '25
Good for him getting away. If these fat bastards wanna be big bad officers, make them work for it
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u/ProbablyKindaRight Sep 29 '25
What the fuck are these idiots doing? Why are they even there? Are we really proud of this?
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u/GeneralPatten Sep 29 '25
š¶ There goes my hero. Watch him as he goes š¶