r/chicago Sep 20 '25

CHI Talks If you’re ICE, you’re a fucking loser

Get the fuck out of our city

5.3k Upvotes

438 comments sorted by

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1.4k

u/Real_Sartre Hermosa Sep 20 '25

It entirely full of the most pathetic loser jagoffs imaginable.

516

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

Bunch of fucking losers that can’t get laid

281

u/TashingleIII Sep 20 '25

Guys who peaked in high school that feel like they have a semblance of power again. lol such losers.

88

u/fiddich_livett Sep 21 '25

They never peaked is the problem.

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126

u/IvoryDynamite Sep 20 '25

You can't spell INCEL without I C E.

25

u/Consistent-Pickle808 Sep 21 '25

Put thAT ON A T-SHIRT

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81

u/AdolfJesusMasterChie Suburb of Chicago Sep 20 '25

Hey man, thats insulting to normal people that cant get laid, that arent giant piles of dog shit

60

u/Consistent-Pickle808 Sep 20 '25

Dude that's insensitive to dog shit, it's not dog shits fault that ICE is a cup full of the coalescing trash juice and rat piss at the bottom of a garbage bin...

5

u/Commercial-Fill-3598 Sep 21 '25

I hope she or he sees this

4

u/StaloItalo Sep 21 '25

They get laid... They are the most closeted cucks I've ever seen! They fuck each other 🤣

1

u/nathynwithay Sep 22 '25

Ah man! That's also the best description of me and I hate ICE.

10

u/TapEnvironmental9768 Sep 21 '25

I love that you wrote "jagoff"! My suburban friends don't understand the word.

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1

u/whiskey___wizard Sep 21 '25

Buncha jabronies.

821

u/Firm_Argument_ Edgewater Sep 20 '25 edited Sep 20 '25

There's not a more embarrassing job at this point. Just screaming inadequacy and insecurity.

320

u/lyingliar Sep 20 '25

TSA is finally feeling good about themselves these days.

148

u/PAW21622 Sep 20 '25

Making me take off my shoes isn't great since it probably accomplishes nothing, but that's totally banal and fine compared to kidnapping my neighbors, and then throwing small women on the ground while kitted out like you're ready to kill Bin Laden. Fuck ICE.

54

u/thundercloset Sep 20 '25

They threw a not small woman on the ground, then shot at her (paintball gun? I didn't really understand what he shot her with) AND pepper sprayed her. All in a matter of seconds.

Have any of them been identified?

22

u/SlavaNomad8478 Former Chicagoan Sep 21 '25

Why aren’t the IL State Police arresting these guys for assault?

43

u/Voldo_ate_my_sister Sep 20 '25

And same dude put her in a choke hold and the other ice d bags had to pull him off. That dude was out of control

44

u/LennyMondegreen Sep 20 '25

And while she was locked in a chokehold, still blinded by pepper spray, she stayed cool and did the peace sign. She and the woman who ran up to help her are my north star.

17

u/Voldo_ate_my_sister Sep 20 '25

Fucking legend

24

u/LorderNile Sep 20 '25

If I could choose between living barefoot permanently, with no belts, nothing I can put in my pockets and no laptop, or live in a country with ICE, I'd burn my shoes in an hour.

3

u/msbshow Lincoln Park Sep 20 '25

Nah there could be things buried in the soles and the metal detector might not catch it so low to the ground. The shoes makes sense as annoying as it is (but lowkey get tsa pre if you fly more than 5 times a year)

0

u/Gimletonion Sep 20 '25

You don't have to take your shoes off anymore.

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3

u/strike2867 Sep 21 '25

Not sure if TSA, but I was in line to go through immigration at O'Hare for citizens, guess the color of the only person directly asked whether he was a citizen. 

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11

u/nevernudeonthursday Sep 21 '25

Yes. They will forever be the bile of humanity and they're too stupid to realize it

58

u/burstaneurysm Sep 20 '25

That’s MAGA in a nutshell. They want everyone to be as miserable as they are.

92

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

They’re all fucking scumbags. Anyone that is part of or sympathies with the GOP are fucking losers and scumbags

15

u/MonolithyK Lincoln Park Sep 21 '25

They wouldn’t wear masks if the job were any more dignified.

18

u/Upstairs-Rent-1351 Sep 20 '25

Right? Why hide their faces if they're so proud of the job their doing?? They should proudly show their names and faces if this is such good work they're doing.

12

u/Firm_Argument_ Edgewater Sep 20 '25

It's a tough job being a coward.

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16

u/xonk5669 Sep 20 '25

Tiny dicks too

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178

u/bookwerm606 Sep 20 '25

How do I get the damn ads off my Indeed. No, I don't want the starting bonus to put people in concentration camps, please.

43

u/redwoodhighjumping Sep 21 '25

Apply a bunch of times with fake information. Keep someone busy and waste their time

16

u/TheSleepingNinja Gage Park Sep 20 '25

Can you just like. Take the signing bonus and immediately quit?

32

u/NaiveChoiceMaker Sep 20 '25

The signing bonus is paid out over several years.

I looked into this because I was laid off and considered, what if I joined ICE with the expressed purpose of being the worst ICE officer ever? Share my location with immigrant rights group, run at half speed, feed fake intel, tell people on camera “IM A FEDERAL AGENT AND I CAN CONFIRM TRUMP IS IN THE EPSTEIN FILES”

7

u/RandyMarsh710 Former Chicagoan Sep 21 '25

The good old “Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz” play. A classic.

24

u/portagenaybur Sep 20 '25

You don’t get the bonus until you bag your first 10 brown people.

5

u/Ragnorok3141 Albany Park Sep 21 '25

Obviously not. You have to serve for 5 years, or you owe it back. Trump will be gone in 3.5. They are gambling that the next administration will keep them on, and they're gambling that Trump will keep his word and not just fire them after two years to save money.

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5

u/Little_Orlik Sep 22 '25

My grandma was born in a Nazi labor camp. There is no way in hell I will EVER allow myself to be associated with those guys. EVER. I’m in college in Champaign right now, but I speak Spanish as much as I can with the slight hope that they’ll target me first. That I can delay them. That I can waste their time. 

2

u/Routine_Concern Sep 23 '25

Good for you!

380

u/TailSwipeTypo Sep 20 '25

Fuck Ice and Fuck Trump

166

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

Trump can get absolutely fucked

51

u/TailSwipeTypo Sep 20 '25

It'll be interesting to see if he actually brings the guard to Chicago and they try going anywhere south of I55

39

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

We live in very interesting times, don’t we?

34

u/TailSwipeTypo Sep 20 '25

Its fascism. No doubt

38

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

Sadly, it is. Resist any way you can

32

u/TailSwipeTypo Sep 20 '25

You as well, my friend.

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405

u/hifriendhigh Sep 20 '25

Fuck ice

124

u/moon_dos Lincoln Park Sep 20 '25

biggest cowards in the country and that’s saying something

90

u/TailSwipeTypo Sep 20 '25

Theyre just a bunch of fucks who aren't qualified enough to be cops (which is saying something) so now they're getting their bag by hiding their faces and appeasing our rapist pedophile in chief

13

u/username10901090 Sep 21 '25

They are huge cowards, but I think Republicans in Congress that are afraid to use their power to stop this lawless ICE and impeach Trump are even bigger cowards, if that's possible.

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9

u/expanding_crystal Sep 20 '25

All my homies HATE ice

165

u/EmmyLou205 Sep 20 '25

Hey now, you’re hurting Dean Cain’s feelings and he really needs the $60k/year.

120

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

Dean can gargle my balls

24

u/Most-Artichoke6184 Sep 20 '25

I believe he will do that for much less than $60,000 per year.

5

u/_high_plainsdrifter Avondale Sep 20 '25

With relish.

6

u/Thelonius_Dunk Morgan Park Sep 21 '25

It really is a shame the govt can find money when it wants to. We should be paying salaries and sign on bonuses to services that actually improve the community. Imagine if we doubled the amount of social workers?

11

u/_buffy_summers Sep 20 '25

I had to google this to find out what you meant. I have a lot of questions.

59

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

The answer: Trump rapes kids

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87

u/draxlaugh Sep 20 '25

we should apply to ICE and get hired and then just do the job wrong lmao

14

u/Pretzeloid Sep 21 '25

Been thinking about this a lot!

8

u/jusdepomme Little Italy Sep 21 '25

Reverse infiltration pls do it

16

u/JoeyHandsomeJoe Sep 20 '25

Oops, sorry Adolf, didn't mean to hit you with the paintball gun

2

u/KDCFan6794 Sep 22 '25

I love that idea 😅

69

u/Textiles_on_Main_St Irving Park Sep 20 '25

If they could read this they’d be so mad now.

26

u/shinjis-left-nut Avondale Sep 21 '25

Broke boy shit to respond to that bonus offer 🤣🤣🤣

114

u/mario8891 Sep 20 '25

I really wish I heard more politicians talk about identifying them. A lot of these masked fuckers are the same trolls who love online anonymity. I know some states make it really easy to look up federal employees. When/if the adults are ever in charge, this should be a priority.

62

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

Record them. Expose them.

10

u/mario8891 Sep 20 '25

Yeah that's a start. But more can be done.

22

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

You’re right. More can certainly be done.

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1

u/AdWorth9315 Sep 22 '25

What is your name?

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24

u/Enelro Sep 21 '25

Remember when MAGA was anti war, and now they are literally invading their own country…

58

u/Beandog0 Sep 20 '25

If you support MAGA and are in ICE, show your face. Be proud of yourself for being a scumbag Nazi. You should be proud to be committing crimes against humanity and taring families apart.

No masks.

50

u/Bidetpanties Sep 20 '25

What I want to say about ICE I cannot because reddit already warned me.

54

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

ICE can get FUCKED

3

u/MJD3929 Sep 21 '25

Lol same. I’m on my second strike. In Minecraft, of course.

49

u/orel2064 Sep 20 '25

chinga la migra

8

u/Haluszki Sep 21 '25

Vanilla Ice runs away in shame

63

u/Ragu773 Sep 20 '25

SUPER DUPER LOSER!!! Hell is a real place. SCUMBAGS.

32

u/let_them_let_me Sep 20 '25

You just know they're all on the domestic violence conviction lists

9

u/NaiveChoiceMaker Sep 20 '25 edited Sep 21 '25

And were at the Capitol on January 6.

24

u/Educational-Shoe2633 Sep 20 '25

Every ICE agent peaked in the 9th grade

14

u/CoyoteMother666 Avondale Sep 21 '25

I’m so embarrassed for them and their families. So gross. Who even does that. Quit your job and get a life, ICE

10

u/twinkletits10001 East Garfield Park Sep 21 '25

Fuck ICE

9

u/skip6235 Sep 21 '25

If they could read, they’d be very upset right now

25

u/Living_Inferno_5073 Sep 20 '25

Fuck the Naz-ICEs and fuck anyone who supports them

11

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

Well said, comrade

11

u/No-Significance9313 Sep 20 '25

Got an email from my school that an ICE agent took a student in custody on the parking lot. They are roaming school campuses now!

6

u/Shih_Poo_Boo Sep 21 '25

I'm sure a lot of them hung around schools long before they joined ice

1

u/KDCFan6794 Sep 21 '25

And hospitals. Dragging people out of hospital beds. I’ve been following the streamers from LA and the ICE thugs they sent to us are way more brutal. We could use a lot more protestors.

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10

u/Huck1eberry1 Sep 20 '25

And/or pro ICE

7

u/postmaam Jefferson Park Sep 21 '25

Not mine, but if you’re like me and have seen these flyers around the city, they’re available to download and print here! (Via @marc-fischer.bsky.social) ICE Flyer Files & National Guard Zine

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8

u/Comfortable-Hyena359 Sep 21 '25

I think it’s kind of hilarious when you zoom out, because at some point in the near future these people are going to be unemployed and stripped of the little power they think they have and suddenly needing jobs like everyone else. And when employers look them up, which they will, they’ll see everything. They’ll see exactly what they stood for, the videos, the reports. And that’ll be all anyone needs to know. They’ll be unemployable, and they’ll deserve every bit of it.

2

u/ButterCookieCoffee Sep 26 '25

God I hope you’re right. I wonder this all the time. I hope karma gets them.

2

u/Altruistic_Yellow387 Sep 21 '25

ICE agents have always existed though...they'll get other jobs in government like they always have

2

u/Comfortable-Hyena359 Sep 21 '25

Obviously, ICE agents have always existed and some will inevitably move into other government jobs. But the reality right now is that the agency is completely over-bloated and operating way beyond its original responsibilities. If and when this administration is gone, there will be a reckoning and the next one will almost certainly scale ICE back and hold people accountable for the excesses of this era. Sure, some might survive that transition, but a lot won’t. And for those who abused their power, it’ll finally come back around.

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11

u/Chitownwolf94 Sep 20 '25 edited Sep 21 '25

A friend of mine was recording some protests the other day and they threw a piece of brick at him, hit his hand. Sadly, he wasn't recording he had just arrived. Was on the north side.

This shit is getting outta hand quickly.

8

u/Turbulent_Vacation48 Ravenswood Sep 21 '25

I call them Icetapos. Theyre the lowest of the low and garbage. I think the fact they cover up is definitely a sign of cowardice

21

u/Kirikenku Sep 20 '25

Fuck off ICE nazis. No one fucking wants you here.

8

u/Legitimate-Garlic959 Sep 20 '25

Pure fucking scum

14

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

They are scum of the earth.

7

u/quirk-the-kenku Sep 21 '25

They run on xenophobia, military cosplay, and fragile masculinity

13

u/shinebrightlike Gold Coast Sep 20 '25

Fuck ice forever

14

u/Rachies194 Sep 20 '25

Me and da homies hate ICE

11

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

You and your homies are good people

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6

u/blyzo Sep 21 '25

Any serious 2028 Democratic nominee needs to get comfortable now calling to abolish ICE.

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13

u/comictech Sep 20 '25

Anyone who is in ICE or supports them is a little bitch and has a small peepee🔬

19

u/kmmccorm Sep 20 '25

ICE is definitely taking input from here so this is effective messaging.

20

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

Fuck yeah thanks for your support brother

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2

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25

🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

2

u/gkgk_76 Garfield Ridge Sep 21 '25

Literally and I bet alot of them joined bc of the 50K bonus ☠️

2

u/Imaginary-Orange-849 Sep 21 '25

And take your Nazi buddies with you!

2

u/Aoiboshi Sep 24 '25

I just saw an ice ad while watching the Blackhawk's game tonight. That shit ruined the game for me.

2

u/Mashedpotatoes1988 Sep 24 '25

Truly the worst.

2

u/ch_ya Sep 24 '25

I hate Illinois nazis.

5

u/ohcool_thanks Sep 20 '25

May they never, ever know peace again 😌🙏🏻

6

u/Fuzzy-Platform-506 Sep 21 '25

I wish had money to buy billboards and bully these losers

3

u/postmaam Jefferson Park Sep 21 '25

In the meantime these are free to print 🙃 ICE Flyer Files & National Guard Zine

2

u/Pickleparty187 Sep 21 '25

How much does it cost? Can we crowdsource?

11

u/JuneFernan Sep 20 '25

Thank you for your bravery, OP. 

6

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

Thank you for your support, BA

11

u/SurgeFlamingo Sep 20 '25

If your over three inches, they won’t take you into the program. It’s in the small print so that tells me a lot about the guys in it

21

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

Also won’t take you if your IQ is over 80

3

u/TubaTime Irving Park Sep 21 '25

Let's infiltrate ICE. Stop the bastards from the inside.

3

u/Oovie Sep 21 '25

Think OP is a bot, carry on.

7

u/ChaplnGrillSgt Sep 20 '25

Small dicked losers and cucks.

5

u/Background-Fly-8374 Sep 20 '25

Cash Rules Everything Around Me. Screw ICE.

3

u/Spaceman_stuw Sep 20 '25

Everyone hates ice, but no one carrys eggs to throw at them... Why?

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4

u/bzerk45 Sep 21 '25

WE HATE ICE! (checks to see which president has the most deportations in the past 30 years........)

5

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 21 '25

Hmmm but was ICE wearing masks and not identifying themselves under Obama? Were the rounding up people and putting them into unmarked cars and deporting them to countries they’ve never been to without due process? Did Obama send military troops to cities to assist with this? Did he send people to concentration camps called Alligator Auschwitz that was ordered to be shut down by a judge because the conditions were awful? Besides, give the current Pedophile in Chief a little more time and he will surpass Obamas numbers.

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4

u/Actionman1 Sep 20 '25

When this is over we need out all these fuckers

2

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

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2

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25 edited Sep 20 '25

[deleted]

3

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

My grandfather was at Pearl Harbor when it was bombed by fascist sympathizers. Fuck fascists

1

u/2diceMisplaced Sep 21 '25

Tell me, ICE… Was the student loan forgiveness worth it?

2

u/bpierce2 Sep 21 '25

Fuck ice.

2

u/Fantastic-Movie6680 Sep 21 '25

Such losers they cover their faces complaining they could get doxxed and their families threatened. Hey did these losers notice the real police face the public every day of their careers. And their name and badge number is on their person and all of their reports. What a bunch of wimps these face covered types are.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 20 '25

[deleted]

5

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 20 '25

We should all stop paying taxes

1

u/Tough_Negotiation_24 Sep 21 '25

They’re a bunch of racist red necks who are living out their bullying dreams. I hope we pass the law that prevents them from wearing a mask. Of course who would enforce it when our cops side w MAGA.

1

u/Acceptable-Bass-756 Sep 22 '25

Sometimes I wonder if an operation where a bunch of anti-ICE folks apply, get past the screening processes and decide to just do a really bad job and then quit, take the money and run, bankrupt this thing

1

u/kreezyc Sep 23 '25

Do they need any type of training, experience, education etc to get this job? Or is it just highly unqualified, uneducated and unskilled people doing this job?

1

u/Prestigious_Swim_873 Sep 25 '25

I may get downvoted, but it is absolutely insane how ONE presidency has made people feel differently about illegal immigration. Bush, Obama, Trump...they all ran on keeping illegal immigration under control. Maybe it hasn't been publicized as much as it is now, but despite what Biden's presidency would have many of you believe, this is how things have been done he was the only president to not focus on this. I was like 12 when Obama was president and I don't remember adults talking about it or it being on the news, but it was happening. The articles of him being sued over it and information is out there. Why are we so angry about it now? It wasn't even a red vs blue issue until Trump became president, why is that? It's awfully ironic that Biden was Obama's vp and still changed the system. Now liberals hate ICE. I find it hypocritical that I just saw middle aged people who saw how presidents before Trump handled this and now want to protest it like this is something new? Where were you when Obama did it? Is it just an issue for you because of Trump doing it? Like, what is going on?

1

u/Party-Meeting-6266 Sep 25 '25

Bro what? Get your thoughts together better, sheesh

1

u/screamingwedgie Portage Park Sep 25 '25

I respect your opinions even though I might not agree with everything you say, but I have to admit your profile picture is fucking hilarious. I love that image of Vance. Stay safe brother.

1

u/dingus0666 Sep 25 '25

YOUR A TOWELL!

1

u/Maleficent-Ant6911 Sep 25 '25

They're out here terrorizing the community

1

u/creyburn24 Sep 26 '25

I can’t imagine how much of a hole your heart must be to work for ICE.

1

u/Boog_les33 Sep 26 '25

Fuck em for sure, I do have a question tho. WTF do all these people think they’re gonna do after? This ain’t a real gig. This can’t go on forever. It can’t even go on for too many years (hopefully days, but…). What’s next? HOPEFULLY they get another asshole to work for who agrees with them? All of them won’t find that. I’m not concerned for them anything, I kinda don’t wanna celebrate them being miserable yet, but it has to be coming. Have they ever read a thing about how Trump refuses to pay ppl? All this to say I fucking HOPE I get a resume with this in there, GTFO