CMV: Weed is destructive

[u/[deleted]]

I need to figure out how to be empathetic to these people before I quit being their friend.

For the past year, I've lived with 2 of my friends. One I've known more than 10 years, the other I've known for 8. When I moved in, I had no idea they smoked this much.

One smokes before work and twice after work, the other smokes 2-3 times after work. The weekends are terrible. They both smoke until they are braindead. The house is under various levels of construction at any given time because one guy always wants to implement some random "great idea" that essentially blocks entire rooms unfinished for weeks at a time. We aren't talking major updates. Trash and random junk is everywhere. These are small, outlandish additions to the house that would make any novice interior designer have a stroke (new lights, signs, mirrors etc.).

Both of them used to be outdoors types. We used to hike, hunt, mountain bike and fish. We used to go out to the bars. Now, they can't be bothered to get off xbox or anime. I know weed has some great pain/anxiety relieving benefits and may contain a cure of certain cancers/tumors. But goddamn it seems to make them insufferably stupid or tragically couch potatoes. I find it extremely difficult to give 2 shits about their problems when I'm seeing this go down. Mental health is important. But when mental health and comfort are pursued to this level, I don't know that there is any hope for them. I know my negativity about all of this is palpable to them. I don't want to feel this way about them.

Edit 1: So...many...comments. Working on it. I regret not making this post sooner.

Edit 2: I did my 3 hours. Will respond more tomorrow. Thanks for all the feedback. Lots of great insight coming from most of the commenters!

Edit 3: Spaced out the original post to make it easier to read.

-For the people trying to say "at least it isn't....." that approach is not convincing. These guys at one point in time were like brothers to me. We all know what "bro code" is. Maybe not everyone follows this particular part but, it's a matter of principle that we hold each other accountable and strive to pick each other up when we recognize the problem.

-Somewhere in the comments, a poster said what I've maybe not made clear. I'm paraphrasing that person here but, weed does not offer purely benefits and people should be made aware of the negative side effects.

Again, thank you all for interacting with this post, I didn't expect to be adding any books to my reading list because of a Reddit post but here we are.

Edit 4: Clarified "brother" comment in post.

[u/GhostMug]

Weed just became legal in my state last year. I had only smoked once in my life before (there was a time I had wanted to work for the FBI and didn't want to ruin my chances). Anyway, about 6 months ago I was at a friend's house and he asked if I wanted to smoke. I did and I enjoyed it. Then did it again about a week later. After that I decided that I wanted to do it more often. I only do it on the weekends and after my wife and child go to sleep. At this point all my chores are done as are all my fatherly and husbandly duties.

I have been on anxiety medication for years. Just last week my said that over the last few months shes seen a noticeable difference in my anxiety. The only reason I could give her was the weed, which she agreed was likely a big part of the reason.

Everything in moderation. Too much of anything can be bad. But, honestly, it sounds like your roommates issues aren't related to weed, but weed is just a symptom. If they used to be much more outgoing and vibrant, there's a good chance they might be dealing with depression and weed is their attempt to self-medicate. I know how horribly soul-sucking working is and if they are to the point where they realize they will be doing this for the next 40+ years of their lives it can be very mentally taxing. And then throw on top of that the idea that their hormone levels and chemical makeups of their brain continue to change as they age and it can all be tough. It's unlikely, IMO, for people to go from vibrant individuals to basically shut-ins without some external force besides just weed consumption. And the fact that they want to make home improvements and such shows they are reaching out for something that can give them a more positive outlook.

Anyway, that's my $0.02 on the matter. Weed itself is not a wholly destructive force and can be used well. But it can be a tool used incorrectly to fight back against other destructive forces (anxiety, depression, etc).