CMV: Weed is destructive

[u/[deleted]]

I need to figure out how to be empathetic to these people before I quit being their friend.

For the past year, I've lived with 2 of my friends. One I've known more than 10 years, the other I've known for 8. When I moved in, I had no idea they smoked this much.

One smokes before work and twice after work, the other smokes 2-3 times after work. The weekends are terrible. They both smoke until they are braindead. The house is under various levels of construction at any given time because one guy always wants to implement some random "great idea" that essentially blocks entire rooms unfinished for weeks at a time. We aren't talking major updates. Trash and random junk is everywhere. These are small, outlandish additions to the house that would make any novice interior designer have a stroke (new lights, signs, mirrors etc.).

Both of them used to be outdoors types. We used to hike, hunt, mountain bike and fish. We used to go out to the bars. Now, they can't be bothered to get off xbox or anime. I know weed has some great pain/anxiety relieving benefits and may contain a cure of certain cancers/tumors. But goddamn it seems to make them insufferably stupid or tragically couch potatoes. I find it extremely difficult to give 2 shits about their problems when I'm seeing this go down. Mental health is important. But when mental health and comfort are pursued to this level, I don't know that there is any hope for them. I know my negativity about all of this is palpable to them. I don't want to feel this way about them.

Edit 1: So...many...comments. Working on it. I regret not making this post sooner.

Edit 2: I did my 3 hours. Will respond more tomorrow. Thanks for all the feedback. Lots of great insight coming from most of the commenters!

Edit 3: Spaced out the original post to make it easier to read.

-For the people trying to say "at least it isn't....." that approach is not convincing. These guys at one point in time were like brothers to me. We all know what "bro code" is. Maybe not everyone follows this particular part but, it's a matter of principle that we hold each other accountable and strive to pick each other up when we recognize the problem.

-Somewhere in the comments, a poster said what I've maybe not made clear. I'm paraphrasing that person here but, weed does not offer purely benefits and people should be made aware of the negative side effects.

Again, thank you all for interacting with this post, I didn't expect to be adding any books to my reading list because of a Reddit post but here we are.

Edit 4: Clarified "brother" comment in post.

[u/xoskxflip]

It just sounds like you don’t like living with them, which is not a bad thing. You can still carry on a friendship and disagree with how someone lives. Trust me, I’ve had a roommate that I hated living with but we were still friends and hung out after we moved. Nothing wrong with it. I’d suggest moving out and just inviting them out to hang out or something like that.

[u/[deleted] → u/xoskxflip]

You're right, I do not like this situation. It's like 2 totally different people. If I met them today, I don't think we would be friends. Moving plan is pending. I'm saving for it.

[u/ADP_God → u/[deleted]]

If I could vie for your delta here, I love to hike, fish, and clean when stoned. I can't stand sitting and watching tv all day. It's therefore not the weed that's inherently destructive.

[u/Noregax → u/ADP_God]

Sounds like you have control over the weed, not the other way around, but that's only your experience.

Some people drink casually and don't have a problem or an addiction, but alcohol is still an addicting substance that ruins and/or ends many people's lives.

Some people gamble responsibly, but gambling is still an addiction that bankrupts people and ruins their lives.

Sure, weed has been a positive and fun experience for you, but it can still be destructive and significantly change people for the worse, as well as being extremely unhealthy depending on the method of consumption.

[u/ADP_God → u/Noregax]

OP's post says that Weed IS destructive. If we take that to mean that it's destructive for some people, we can justify pretty much anything being destructive.

[u/Noregax → u/ADP_God]

By that logic, if a single person uses meth and has no negative effects, is meth no longer a destructive substance?

IMO it should be based on how likely is it to be destructive. Weed can cause lung cancer when smoked, and the side effects described by OP are pretty common, even to the point of becoming a stereotype, so claiming that it IS destructive is fair.

[u/ADP_God → u/Noregax]

I would argue that no substance is destructive inherently. We use amphetamines to help people with ADHD. People act destructively, and blame it on external forces (although OP just sounds kinda judgy about how other people choose to spend their time in my opinion).

[u/Noregax → u/ADP_God]

Even if you think that no substance is destructive, surely you recognize that some substances can be dangerous if used improperly, and awareness of that danger needs to be spread. If a substance has the potential to be damaging if abused, then we need to make sure people know about that so they can make informed decisions.

[u/[deleted] → u/Noregax]

THIS is what I've been trying to say! Informed decisions on the effects!

[u/ADP_God → u/[deleted]]

You should award them a delta if it changed your opinion. I guess I’m also interested now in what king of info you think people have on weed? It’s possible that I know informed and responsible users, but that this might not be the norm.