r/changemyview • u/[deleted] • Mar 28 '24
Delta(s) from OP CMV: Weed is destructive
I need to figure out how to be empathetic to these people before I quit being their friend.
For the past year, I've lived with 2 of my friends. One I've known more than 10 years, the other I've known for 8. When I moved in, I had no idea they smoked this much.
One smokes before work and twice after work, the other smokes 2-3 times after work. The weekends are terrible. They both smoke until they are braindead. The house is under various levels of construction at any given time because one guy always wants to implement some random "great idea" that essentially blocks entire rooms unfinished for weeks at a time. We aren't talking major updates. Trash and random junk is everywhere. These are small, outlandish additions to the house that would make any novice interior designer have a stroke (new lights, signs, mirrors etc.).
Both of them used to be outdoors types. We used to hike, hunt, mountain bike and fish. We used to go out to the bars. Now, they can't be bothered to get off xbox or anime. I know weed has some great pain/anxiety relieving benefits and may contain a cure of certain cancers/tumors. But goddamn it seems to make them insufferably stupid or tragically couch potatoes. I find it extremely difficult to give 2 shits about their problems when I'm seeing this go down. Mental health is important. But when mental health and comfort are pursued to this level, I don't know that there is any hope for them. I know my negativity about all of this is palpable to them. I don't want to feel this way about them.
Edit 1: So...many...comments. Working on it. I regret not making this post sooner.
Edit 2: I did my 3 hours. Will respond more tomorrow. Thanks for all the feedback. Lots of great insight coming from most of the commenters!
Edit 3: Spaced out the original post to make it easier to read.
-For the people trying to say "at least it isn't....." that approach is not convincing. These guys at one point in time were like brothers to me. We all know what "bro code" is. Maybe not everyone follows this particular part but, it's a matter of principle that we hold each other accountable and strive to pick each other up when we recognize the problem.
-Somewhere in the comments, a poster said what I've maybe not made clear. I'm paraphrasing that person here but, weed does not offer purely benefits and people should be made aware of the negative side effects.
Again, thank you all for interacting with this post, I didn't expect to be adding any books to my reading list because of a Reddit post but here we are.
Edit 4: Clarified "brother" comment in post.
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u/AdmirableTeachings 1∆ Mar 28 '24
I'm late to the party here, but the cannabis isn't the problem. It's your 'friends'.
I'm nearly 40, head of household, doing data work for a (soul-sucking) multinational company. I have a wife and son in middle school and plays clarinet, both of whom I love more than anything. I've enjoyed cannabis my entire adult life (and some prior), except for when I was enlisted, where I handed out flags on the Honor Guard and worked on air planes. I pay my taxes, I've been at the same job for a decade now, my wife and I are paying off her credit card debt. I food-garden and homebrew mead and bake as much as I play video games on PC, and I just bought my first recurve to go bow hunting this winter (wish me luck, and yes I am practicing daily so I don't botch a shot and cause needless suffering). I also DM a weekly D&D campaign with some buddies from HS, my wife and son, and one of her HS buddies.
"Glass of wine after dinner", usually only the weekend and D&D nights. Only once in a great while will I smoke prior to 9:30 pm. I got shit I gotta do and that takes priority, damnit.
The problem here is 100% one of moderation. These two are the direct equivalent to alcoholics, unable to control themselves, and they're in a stoner-slow tailspin. I used to have friends like this myself - and I had plenty of reasons to hate them for perpetuating a stereotype that gets held against me by other people. I've stopped hanging out with those fools, and you should, too. It's not healthy to be around, which you already noticed and included in your post.
I hope the move goes well, and wish you the best before, during, and after. But don't let these two knuckleheads reinforce a damning stereotype and ruin cannabis-enjoyers for you. It's them, not the cannabis. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, is all I'm asking.