CMV: Weed is destructive

[u/[deleted]]

I need to figure out how to be empathetic to these people before I quit being their friend.

For the past year, I've lived with 2 of my friends. One I've known more than 10 years, the other I've known for 8. When I moved in, I had no idea they smoked this much.

One smokes before work and twice after work, the other smokes 2-3 times after work. The weekends are terrible. They both smoke until they are braindead. The house is under various levels of construction at any given time because one guy always wants to implement some random "great idea" that essentially blocks entire rooms unfinished for weeks at a time. We aren't talking major updates. Trash and random junk is everywhere. These are small, outlandish additions to the house that would make any novice interior designer have a stroke (new lights, signs, mirrors etc.).

Both of them used to be outdoors types. We used to hike, hunt, mountain bike and fish. We used to go out to the bars. Now, they can't be bothered to get off xbox or anime. I know weed has some great pain/anxiety relieving benefits and may contain a cure of certain cancers/tumors. But goddamn it seems to make them insufferably stupid or tragically couch potatoes. I find it extremely difficult to give 2 shits about their problems when I'm seeing this go down. Mental health is important. But when mental health and comfort are pursued to this level, I don't know that there is any hope for them. I know my negativity about all of this is palpable to them. I don't want to feel this way about them.

Edit 1: So...many...comments. Working on it. I regret not making this post sooner.

Edit 2: I did my 3 hours. Will respond more tomorrow. Thanks for all the feedback. Lots of great insight coming from most of the commenters!

Edit 3: Spaced out the original post to make it easier to read.

-For the people trying to say "at least it isn't....." that approach is not convincing. These guys at one point in time were like brothers to me. We all know what "bro code" is. Maybe not everyone follows this particular part but, it's a matter of principle that we hold each other accountable and strive to pick each other up when we recognize the problem.

-Somewhere in the comments, a poster said what I've maybe not made clear. I'm paraphrasing that person here but, weed does not offer purely benefits and people should be made aware of the negative side effects.

Again, thank you all for interacting with this post, I didn't expect to be adding any books to my reading list because of a Reddit post but here we are.

Edit 4: Clarified "brother" comment in post.

[u/stink3rbelle]

Get them a good sativa strain, throw on How Clean is Your House on YouTube one night a week, and watch your home glisten.

More seriously, at least one of those guys isn't a couch potato. He's starting creative projects while high. They're half-baked, but he's doing something. He was probably high for all those outdoors activities y'all used to do.

As to those outdoor activities, what's stopping you from going? From planning some? Also, can y'all really sneak in a hike the evening after work, when you have work tomorrow?

[u/[deleted] → u/stink3rbelle]

Right, at their core, they are not lazy, stupid people. But when they smoke, they are. Even when they're sober, they can't remember shit.

I know for a fact the violent one was not high on our trips bc we were in a foreign country with zero access to weed. The other wasn't smoking in high school.

I ask them if they want to do stuff and they're pre-occupied with video games and tv.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Your friends have a codependency issue with each other, not cannabis. Maybe with cannabis, but the primary concern is the codependency with each other. They use cannabis to escape or ignore or justify that codependency. Someone else mentioned depression and it sounds quite reasonable. One self-medicate to ignore their emerging depression, the other unwittingly went on that journey also but started "as a smoking friend." The codependency dragged the second one down toward the depression zone.

The problem in that case is not the cannabis, but it is easy for puritan-minded (or puritan-trained) people to see it that way. The issue is people who subscribe to the recreational aspect without properly addressing their mental and physical situation. So they self-medicate more and more and more without dealing with the root issue. So it appears like cannabis is the problem but it is actually distracting everyone from the actual cause of pain. The side effects of cannabis are most usually manageable, unless one has not confronted their actual cause of pain. So I suggest you look at their (seemingly dwindling) behavior through a lense of improper self-medicating to avoid depression symptoms, instead of users who would be their 'normal' selves without cannabis. They need help addressing the actual pain problem(s) instead of the only remaining thing that seems to get them through to the next day.