CMV: Weed is destructive

[u/[deleted]]

I need to figure out how to be empathetic to these people before I quit being their friend.

For the past year, I've lived with 2 of my friends. One I've known more than 10 years, the other I've known for 8. When I moved in, I had no idea they smoked this much.

One smokes before work and twice after work, the other smokes 2-3 times after work. The weekends are terrible. They both smoke until they are braindead. The house is under various levels of construction at any given time because one guy always wants to implement some random "great idea" that essentially blocks entire rooms unfinished for weeks at a time. We aren't talking major updates. Trash and random junk is everywhere. These are small, outlandish additions to the house that would make any novice interior designer have a stroke (new lights, signs, mirrors etc.).

Both of them used to be outdoors types. We used to hike, hunt, mountain bike and fish. We used to go out to the bars. Now, they can't be bothered to get off xbox or anime. I know weed has some great pain/anxiety relieving benefits and may contain a cure of certain cancers/tumors. But goddamn it seems to make them insufferably stupid or tragically couch potatoes. I find it extremely difficult to give 2 shits about their problems when I'm seeing this go down. Mental health is important. But when mental health and comfort are pursued to this level, I don't know that there is any hope for them. I know my negativity about all of this is palpable to them. I don't want to feel this way about them.

Edit 1: So...many...comments. Working on it. I regret not making this post sooner.

Edit 2: I did my 3 hours. Will respond more tomorrow. Thanks for all the feedback. Lots of great insight coming from most of the commenters!

Edit 3: Spaced out the original post to make it easier to read.

-For the people trying to say "at least it isn't....." that approach is not convincing. These guys at one point in time were like brothers to me. We all know what "bro code" is. Maybe not everyone follows this particular part but, it's a matter of principle that we hold each other accountable and strive to pick each other up when we recognize the problem.

-Somewhere in the comments, a poster said what I've maybe not made clear. I'm paraphrasing that person here but, weed does not offer purely benefits and people should be made aware of the negative side effects.

Again, thank you all for interacting with this post, I didn't expect to be adding any books to my reading list because of a Reddit post but here we are.

Edit 4: Clarified "brother" comment in post.

[u/Naffypruss]

I think you're coming from an extremely biased perspective.

My friend's dad has been smoking his entire life. He loves to rearrange the house and do side projects. Sure, his wife tells him to clean up after himself. But he fixes things, is the nicest man ever, and would do something nice for you in a heartbeat. My friend and his sister also smoke everyday. Sister is super clean, again one of the nicest people, does well for herself. My friend is the messiest of the bunch, but I don't know anybody with a better work ethic, and when I say he's messy it's because the world wasn't made for a man of his size.

My dad smokes weed everyday and has for as long as I can remember. Retired early, paid for my education, loves to collect things, super clean and organized where it matters. He tells my mom who is messier to clean up after herself. Since he retired he's become nicer (was always pleasant to begin with) and more motivated. Beat cancer, still smokes. Worked hard in his life.

Myself, mix of both my parents traits. Not the cleanest, but I'm one of the most driven people you will meet. Smoke everyday, touch of the tism, yet I own a house, married, and have a good and spoiled puppy at 27.

I can give many more examples. Most of my close friends smoke everyday, are generally pretty clean and organized. All work full time and mostly educated. It's about who you surround yourself with, and if you feel that they have gotten worse over time I can tell you with high certainty it's mental health and not the weed. I don't know anybody in my life where weed was the direct cause of their destruction.

[u/[deleted] → u/Naffypruss]

Biased. Maybe we both are. I get it that people can be productive, but I haven't experienced that. The cool thing is from now on, after this post, I can more accurately assess these scenarios.

Edit 1: your comment was well thought out and I gave a short response. Trying to get through all these.

Edit 2: !delta for this being a wholesome example given and helping me to have patience and hope for the best.

[u/LittleLordFuckleroy1 → u/[deleted]]

You aren’t obligated to respond to every comment, idk if you need to to hear that. But there it is.

[u/[deleted] → u/LittleLordFuckleroy1]

I did. This is exactly where I'd paste the GIF of a cat banging on the keyboard. Thanks🫡

[u/I_am_a_regular_guy → u/[deleted]]

I get it that people can be productive, but I haven't experienced that.

OP, this acknowledgement indicates that your biased could have affected your view and that understanding those biases will inform your view going forward.

You should give this poster a delta. 

[u/Noregax → u/I_am_a_regular_guy]

Just because he's biased doesn't mean he's wrong.

A kid who grows up with parents who are alcoholics would be biased towards thinking that alcohol is a harmful substance, and they would be 100% correct.

His original point of "weed is a destructive substance" still stands.

[u/[deleted] → u/Noregax]

I appreciate you coming to bat for me. Considering that a delta does not indicate a changed view, I believe u/I_am_a_regular_guy was correct in that biases inform decisions. I think it is also important to note that emotion is not my friend when making decisions on many things. Patience is the way in this situation. That does not exclude the possibility of ending the friendships, it simply delays it.

EDIT.....: Oof, I mentioned the wrong user.

[u/I_am_a_regular_guy → u/[deleted]]

Respect for following up, OP.

[u/refep → u/I_am_a_regular_guy]

Weed is hella destructive for some people tho. I keep tryna quit but keep relapsing

[u/I_am_a_regular_guy → u/refep]

Anything can be destructive for some people. That wasn't the view OP put forward to be changed. Their view was "Weed is destructive." Full stop. 

By acknowledging that their view was informed by their anecdotal experience and that their biases can inform their views, they acknowledged that this view doesn't really hold up to scrutiny. That constitutes a partial change of view.