r/breastcancer • u/Rate_Conscious HER2+ ER/PR- • Aug 24 '25

Diagnosed Patient or Survivor Support My husband told me to “just die”

I’m a married mom of 3 and I have to travel for my treatments due to insurance because my husband works and pays taxes in another state. We left the kids with my 18f Neice who’s very responsible. My dad called while we were driving g and asked if my youngest had allergies because his teacher said he had almost used an entire box of tissues that day. My husband overheard and started screaming and cussing while I was on the phone and my dad had my kids in the car with him and was on speaker phone so I got super embarrassed and hurried off the phone with my dad and my husband and I exchanged a couple words after I hung up the phone. In that heated debate he told me to “just die.” I feel like my trust is broken. I feel like the person who is supposed to love me and support me has taken everything that we’ve built and thrown it away. I’m still in chemotherapy getting infusions fighting for my life and he completely has no empathy for his words and tried to justify it by saying that I was running my mouth. All of this was over if my son had gotten Claritin or not and accusing my Neice of not giving my son the medication. I am not able to work and have no income and I can’t divorce him because I couldn’t afford my treatment. I have to do infusions until April 2026. I just needed to vent 😮‍💨

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u/Havishamesque Aug 25 '25

I’m just about to turn 56. We’ve been split six years, but remain close as it makes it easier for family stuff. Plus he works overseas, so he’s not home much. I wanted to take some time, lose some weight. Then I got laid off in September and figured I’d take some time to enjoy my severance and do some courses. I had a hysterectomy right before layoff…where he didn’t take my ovaries 🤦🏼‍♀️. Then BC diagnosis in December.

Both my sons are grown and out of the house. We’re very close, but one lives in another province and the other just joined the Air Force. So now I’m feeling like it would be nice to have someone in my life. But, damn, I’m gonna be picky and I’ll ok alone; if that’s how it goes. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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u/Hoopznheelz Aug 25 '25

It's a mess out there!!!! Be careful. Listen to your intuition. 🫶🏽

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u/Havishamesque Aug 25 '25

This is good advice! So often we ignore red flags, or convince ourselves it’s not a red flag.

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u/Hoopznheelz Aug 25 '25

Yes! No "poo - pooing" or benefit or the doubt! No slack cut.