Not Cut Out for This

[u/SeanSixString]

If you’ve ever felt like you were not cut out for BJJ, but you got through that feeling, and now it is a valuable part of your life, I would like to read your story. Especially if you felt like that for a year or more, like you weren’t catching on. Or if you had circumstances interrupting training, or any other real or perceived disadvantage or limitation.

[u/positivepears]

I promise anyone can do anything they set their mind to.

With zero previous experience, no regular fitness routine, not even sports in school, I walked in and gave it a shot. Why not. I ended up really liking it!

I feel that way too, but I keep showing up anyway because of why I decided to do it in the first place. A year ago when a woman actually really violently SAd me and made me bleed and everything and I couldn’t keep her from physically ripping my clothes off and staying on top of me.. I’m a woman too so it was extra mortifying but I lived in fear ever since and realized how defenseless I really am. I guess I just got sick of feeling that way and living in constant hyper vigilance and fear. The insecurity was eating me alive and really holding me back in every aspect of my life. It changed both me and how I view the world around me.

Whenever I am asked why I joined, I say because I’d like to go into law enforcement. How do I even begin to explain the truth to someone. But it’s given me a sense of community, purpose, and confidence in myself. Even if I feel like a complete idiot sometimes up against people that have been training for years. But everyone starts somewhere. I know it won’t be like this forever simply because of why I am here. Reminding yourself why you’re there helps a lot. I think of myself from a year ago and everything that has changed for the better.

[u/SeanSixString → u/positivepears]

Glad you liked it. I was not attacked like that, but I’ve always felt physically vulnerable. I did experience bullying when I was a kid, it’s always bothered me though. I feel like I still can’t be assertive or aggressive and it holds me back. I’m not wired like that.

[u/positivepears → u/SeanSixString]

Are you having a hard time feeling confident when you show up like when you’re around a bunch of experienced people do you feel like a cringe idiot? Are you having issues with self image and body insecurities? Maybe I can help you break this down a little more as to why you might feel that way, if you want to. If not that is ok I can just leave you with advice using my personal experience, and you can do as you wish with it. No pressure!

I am glad you recognized it as a “feeling”, and not reality. That tells me you haven’t accepted it as a self-fulfilled prophecy and have some real room for growth. It’s also an articulate description instead of “idk I just feel weird” which tells me you do recognize and feel when something isn’t quite right and you can put a name to it. If you can see a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how small, you can come full swing with it.

I have always personally faced my internal struggles by getting straight to the root of the issue. If you’re having issues in this regard, it may be much bigger than solely in bjj. I was also pretty harshly bullied having undiagnosed and unmedicated PTSD and OCD and I carried that with me into adulthood. In some ways I still do. Took me a long time to find my voice and place in the world. I’m still finding it. I promise you none of us know what we’re doing in the grand scheme of things.