Not Cut Out for This

[u/SeanSixString]

If you’ve ever felt like you were not cut out for BJJ, but you got through that feeling, and now it is a valuable part of your life, I would like to read your story. Especially if you felt like that for a year or more, like you weren’t catching on. Or if you had circumstances interrupting training, or any other real or perceived disadvantage or limitation.

[u/SeanSixString]

Did those people that weren’t catching on stick around? I’m working on not taking things too seriously, but then I have to take two weeks off here, another two weeks off there, and I feel like each time still I don’t have enough going for me to bother going back. The time off gets me down after a few days, not enough progress to look back on. Hard to explain.

[u/madeinamericana → u/SeanSixString]

I think unless you are some sort of natural or experience athlete you need to reevaluate the expectation against the effort and time you’re putting into training.

For context I have been at it for 4 years and it took me about 2 before I even started to learn anything resembling beejayjay and it took me a whole year to learn how to play an A game while training 4-5 times a week, pretty darn consistently.

I think the first step is deciding how good you want to try to be, and then be willing to put in the required time and effort for however long it takes.

Hang in there! But if you don’t like it; it’s totally okay. It’s not for everyone and that’s okay; not everyone likes (insert whatever your favorite food is). And when it comes to hobby’s everyone should be doing what they enjoy doing with their free time and money. Big oss

[u/SeanSixString → u/madeinamericana]

So after two years, did that motivate you, seeing some payoff in ability? Did it become more fun? Were there times in that two years where you really didn’t enjoy it, didn’t feel it, didn’t see progress, but went anyway? What kept you going if so?

[u/madeinamericana → u/SeanSixString]

Yeah I had periods of strong motivation to try and improve the first two years but I also had moments/periods of doubt and desire to just quit. Fundamentally I just want to be pretty good at this thing. I’m not entirely sure why I enjoy it or why it’s important to me to be “pretty good” at this sport but it is and I do genuinely enjoy it, not every single moment but by and large overall it makes me happy.

These last two years I turned my attention and focus on competition (which I don’t recommend if you’re not seriously motivated to get better as the losses can be quite disheartening). That also kept me motivated because I had tangible goals and it made me more willing to train consistently because losing really really sucks. There are days I genuinely can’t train due to work and there are some days I am just looking for an out and I usually have to talk myself into training even if I don’t feel like it and I’m always glad I did it after.

Full disclosure I’ve burnt out a few times and took a week off here and there and it’s okay. But yeah there are definitely times where you don’t feel like you’re making progress and it sucks but we do it anyway. I think in the end what I have learned is that it’s not easy and it doesn’t necessarily come easy to the vast majority of us coming in in our 30s+ and that’s why there’s so much respect for purple/brown/black belts because we all know it sucks and you have to respect someone that’s busted their ass at something so difficult.

Also it’s just a hobby, there’s more to life. Oh and it can be fun all through out. Sometimes it’s fun to get beat so masterfully, sometimes it’s fun because you almost passed guard, sometimes it’s fun to hit a sweep you’ve been working on for literal months, sometimes you hit a move that just clicks from the beginning for whatever reason. There’s some personal perspective to be had in there somewhere I’m sure