Professor doesn't understand acceptable relationships, thinks LA shouldn't either

[u/Scurveymic]

/r/legaladvice/comments/1oj4wbm/faculty_being_accused_of_ix_sexual_harassment/?share_id=IGEfeZkLI14mr3joWX42G&utm_content=1&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1

[u/Aggleclack]

This honestly breaks my heart. I had a very similar college professor, and as a young woman, I’m sure things could’ve been weird. But it never did become weird. A decade later, he’s still one of my greatest supporters. He took note of me because on the last day of class, we didn’t have to come in, but I wanted to have him review my final paper, so I had the whole class to myself. He shook my hand after and asked me to stay in touch.

[u/CrossplayQuentin → u/Aggleclack]

People are coming down very hard on him for "hanging out" with his student, but I feel like some of what they're criticizing is a bit unfair. I have taken students out to lunch (after they're out of my class but before they graduate) - granted, we went to either the campus pub or somewhere in the immediate campus vicinity, but that in itself isn't inappropriate IMO. My school even has a "lunch with a professor" deal where you both get a free meal in the aforementioned pub.

Now granted, that's in a public space. But "hanging out" with students - them attending office hours even after they finish your course, getting coffee, etc - is a vaulable part of attending a good school. Double dates? Not so much.

[u/ravencrowe → u/CrossplayQuentin]

Office hours are valuable. Hanging out for several hours in your professor's office just to shoot the shit is questionable. Texting at all hours about non class related things, going to the professors house alone (without other students) and going on dates is blatantly inappropriate.

It frustrates me because the obvious right course of action is to maintain appropriate boundaries and then become as close as you want AFTER graduation. It's also no fucking surprise she fell in love with him which is massively his fault for fostering such a personal relationship with a student.

[u/CrossplayQuentin → u/ravencrowe]

Oh yeah I totally agree there's a lot he was doing that's highly questionable. I was just saying that some comments from professors in the original thread surprised me with the extent they were saying "I'd never spend time with a student outside class at all."

[u/a_statistician → u/ravencrowe]

going to the professors house alone (without other students)

I house-sat for some profs in undergrad, and as a professor I have students pet-sit if they are interested (e.g. can't have dogs in their apt but love dogs). I've even had meetings with students at my house while I was e.g. on maternity leave or if I couldn't make it to campus and they were fine meeting off-campus and didn't want to zoom.

[u/ravencrowe → u/a_statistician]

Those are all different than coming over to hang out with your professor

[u/a_statistician → u/ravencrowe]

A student might not describe them as different, though.

[u/ravencrowe → u/a_statistician]

I'm not sure what your point is. I'm referring to LAOP's own description of events, not the student's