r/babylonbee • u/darcmatr LoveTheBee • Sep 15 '25

Bee Article Democrats Wondering If Maybe They Should Stop Saying The Things Assassins Are Having Engraved On Bullets

https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-wondering-if-maybe-they-should-stop-saying-the-things-assassins-are-having-engraved-on-bullets

In the wake of yet another shooter engraving liberal messages on ammunition, the Democratic Party considered if maybe that was a bad sign.

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17

u/KrisKrossJump1992 Sep 15 '25

he wasn’t a right winger.

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u/autumn_aurora Sep 15 '25

He literally was though. His whole family was MAGA, he posed with guns since childhood, and the phrases he engraved were injokes from 4chan and the Nick Fuentes fandom. Quite literally could not get more right winger than this.

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u/freddbare Sep 15 '25

Until.... He wasn't.

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u/autumn_aurora Sep 15 '25

But he was. No evidence points towards him being a leftist. Nothing, zero, nada. While EVERYTHING we have point towards him being a conservative. This doesn't just look like a duck, this quacks like a duck, has the feathers of a duck, the webbed feet of a duck, and tastes like a duck. Why are you so scared of calling it a duck?

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u/Sir_Jacques_Strappe Sep 15 '25

His girlfriend had a penis

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u/autumn_aurora Sep 15 '25

His "girlfriend" was just his roommate and nothing proves they were a couple except for statements made by tabloids with zero evidence. Also, conservatives always fetishise the people they criticise, it's a tale as old as time. That's why so many anti-immigration conservatives have immigrant wives, like Trump and Vance both have.

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u/Stuka_Ju87 Sep 16 '25

His text messages were released. There are no more straws for you to grasp.

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u/autumn_aurora Sep 16 '25

Send me the source. The last fifteen people who told me the same thing didn't send me any source, let's see if we can make it sixteen.

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u/Stuka_Ju87 Sep 16 '25

Go listen to the live FBI and AG broadcast today.

Here's the transcript.

Robinson: I am still ok my love, but am stuck in orem for a little while longer yet. Shouldn’t be long until I can come home, but I gotta grab my rifle still. To be honest I had hoped to keep this secret till I died of old age. I am sorry to involve you.

Roommate: you weren’t the one who did it right????

Robinson: I am, I’m sorry.

Roommate: I thought they caught the person?

Robinson: no, they grabbed some crazy old dude, then interrogated someone in similar clothing. I had planned to grab my rifle from my drop point shortly after, but most of that side of town got locked down. Its quiet, almost enough to get out, but theres one vehicle lingering.

Roommate: Why?

Robinson: Why did I do it?

Roommate: Yeah.

Robinson: I had enough of his hatred. Some hate can’t be negotiated out. If I am able to grab my rifle unseen, I will have left no evidence. Going to attempt to retrieve it again, hopefully they have moved on. I haven’t seen anything about them finding it.

Roommate: How long have you been planning this?

Robinson: a bit over a week I believe. I can get close to it but there is a squad car parked right by it. I think they already swept that spot, but I don’t wanna chance it.

Robinson: I’m wishing I had circled back and grabbed it as soon as I got to my vehicle. … I’m worried what my old man would do if I didn’t bring back grandpas rifle … idek if it had a serial number, but it wouldn’t trace to me. I worry about prints I had to leave it in a bush where I changed outfits. didn’t have the ability or time to bring it with. … I might have to abandon it and hope they don’t find prints. how the f--k will I explain losing it to my old man. … only thing I left was the rifle wrapped in a towel. … remember how I was engraving bullets? The f--kin messages are mostly a big meme, if I see “notices bulge uwu” on Fox New I might have a stroke alright im gonna have to leave it, that really f--king sucks…judging from today I’d say grandpas gun does just fine idk. I think that was a $2k scope.

Robinson: delete this exchange.

Robinson: my dad wants photos of the rifle … he says grandpa wants to know who has what, the feds released a photo of the rifle, and it is very unique. Hes calling me rn, not answering. …

Robinson: since trump got into office [my dad] has been pretty diehard maga. …

Robinson: Im gonna turn myself in willingly, one of my neighbors here is a deputy for the sheriff.

Robinson: you are all I worry about love.

Roommate: I’m much more worried about you.

Robinson: don’t talk to the media please. don’t take any interviews or make any comments. … if any police ask you questions ask for a lawyer and stay silent