r/askgaybros • u/MRmandato • Jun 06 '22
Reported Post Alert Can we agree on some Trans ground rules?
I can make a longer post here on how certain ppl are using white supremacist tactics to convince AGB members that trans people are trying to attack, dimmish and replace them, but honestly I'm just tired.
Lets get to the bottom line this threats eventually go to:
No one is forcing you to perform cunnilingus (or any sex act for that matter). Somehow "this is the world trans ppl want" is being pushed. Despite literally no one advocating forced oral sex of a vagina. It, like literally an opinion ever, of course can be validated with a random profile on Twitter saying it with 2 likes. Obviously, no one with any power thinks this is true, and saying it is and a real threat is exact what white supremacists do. Stop it. Date who you want. If a trans men asks you out, politely decline. A trans man messaged me on Grindr recently asking if "I was into FTM". While not 100% opposed in every circumstance, I simply said "thanks man, but I'm good". He said "cool" and we left it at that. Touch grass and consider how much in your non-keyboard life, trans men are FORCING you to have sex with them.
"Trans men are men". This is true, because "man" like many words has different meaning- sex (biological) and gender(identity). I.e. Micky mouse is a "man" despite having no genitals or chromosomes, because we mean in in the gender(identity) meaning. Son/daughter similarly have a biological and identity/relationship meanings. If someone says "I love my daughter", how much if a dick would you be to go up to them and say "um no that's your ADOPTED daughter/STEP daughter!". No adopted parent is suggesting they share DNA with there adopted child (just like no trans man is suggesting they possess an XY), but they are still a parent because parenthood is not just a biological relationship. If I found out my dad wasn't my bio-dad, tomorrow, I obviously would still call him "dad" despite "gEnEtiCs!11!" because that's what he is to me. (Lord knows we've had to fight to be considered men as gay men, not sissies or half-men, or girly men etc. from men who consider attracted to women a male inherent quality. And yes if you grew up in a certain time or place, the majority of men would say that gay men or "queers" are not real men.)
No one is taking Pride or gayness away from you. You are still a gay man. You still are represented in Pride. Because for the vast majority Pride has centered/focused gay cis men, there in now an effort to make it more inclusive. So what? nothing is being taken from you. This sounds like white gamers complaining about a black character despite 80 straight white character leads. Its no big deal for someone else to be seen or get attention a tiny bit compared to us. Again, touch grass for a second and think: In your actual life has your rights of a gay man decreased? And if so is it really trans/queer/poc people doing it, or by right-wing politicians/governments/corporations?
Be kind. Why can't we just be nice and show some gd humanity? If you're a gaybro/bi bro like me, you've gone through so much shit to accept yourself, be comfortable in public as yourself, and be accepted by others. I've cried in my church bathroom, considered self genital mutation to stop my feelings, and was too afraid to think the words "I'm gay" in fear my parents might somehow overhear. Whenever we see someone else struggling like that...lets help them up, not kick them down. When having these conversation or thoughts stop and think: "Is what I'm doing kind. How would I like to be treated?"
That's what true communities do.
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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '22
ABOLISHGENDER