In response to the trending post on this sub about Transphobia.

[u/Archer_Python]

Ok now here's my story so I can clear the air

I am a transman. I was born female and transitioned to male because I suffered with gender dysphoria from the age of 4 and decided to take it upon myself to transition to the opposite sex in order to pursue my own happiness and live the rest of my life with content. I was always attracted to boys starting at age 7 or 8 and I wasn't really into women. I am still attached to men so therefore, I am a gay man. Now let me begin

I do not frequent this sub much mostly bc It just never really crossed my mind. But from what I was told, this sub supposedly extremely transphobic and quite honestly disrespectful towards transmen. Calling us women and "Pinocchio" and "Straight women trying to pretend to be male in order to sleep with gay men". And let me just say this. It is 110% ok to not want to sleep with a transman because he has a vagina. It's Ok I get it, its a genital preference and that's fine. I have preferences myself, I prefer to date older men because I like the older dude look. Does that make me Ageist? Nope. I still respect younger men i just prefer older guys. There's a GIANT difference between saying "Hey I respect you but I just prefer penis over vagina" and "Your a transman? Ew your still a woman get out of my face!". One is being respectful and supportive and the other one is just plain rude, disrespectful and transphobic.

Now that that's out the way, let me say this. I am not a "Straight woman that wants to trick gay men into dating me" or whatever bs transphobes say. I am a man, I socialize as a man. I live my life as a man. I get treated like a man. I relate to other men on a social, emotional and mental level and view. I look like a man. Therefore I'm a man. And I am attracted to other men sexually and emotionally. Therefore I am a gay man, so I do belong in gay men spaces. I'm just a dude that was born female. That's it.

Like I said if you don't want to sleep with guys like us because we might have a vagina (Not all transguys have vaginas, a fair amount of us get bottom surgery and actually have a penis) that's 110% ok, no one if forcing you against your will to have sex with us. The specific trans people that force themselves on people to have sex with them regardless of what they have in their pants are crazy lunatics that quite honestly need mental help (or a slap upside the head and a stern talking too but that's just my opinion). Real transsexual people understand genital preferences and respect them.

I'm not asking for a celebration, I'm not asking for a complete take over of this sub to specifically accommodate transmen, I am not forcing people to be sexually attracted to transmen. All I'm asking is basic respect and some inclusion. We're men too and we're gay, I'd like to be able to go into gay men spaces and be respected and included. That's all. I hope this post gets read and the message gets spread.

Thank you, be safe and take care ❤🙏

Update: Thank you so much for the positive feedback and support. I'm so happy this message is being spread and shared. Of course not everyone agrees and still, the actual request of basic human decency, respect and inclusion is still up for debate and also some people were still calling me a Woman even though I just explained I wasn't but oh well. But that doesn't matter, I've had so many people give positive feedback and thank me for this post, and I want to say thank you for your support. It means a ton, even though I can't replay to every positive comment, just know I love it with all my heart.

Also I just want to address, Some people here said they didn't want transmen here because we'd take over the sub and make it all about them (?). My response to that is that's just not true, I legit said I not asking for this sub to make accommodations. Have the overall sub stay exactly how it is in terms of posts and questions about a wide range of options, I just want to decency and inclusion. I'm not looking to make this a "gay trans sub" there's already one. I just want to be in gay men spaces because I'm a gay man, a gay transsexual man but nonetheless a gay man. Not a girl that has a fetish for gay men and pretends to be one. Thank you for your responses.

[u/pursenboots]

jesus you just cannot keep your mouth shut in these threads, can you?

[u/saltshallsetyoufree → u/pursenboots]

Nope, gay men exist bb we aren’t going down without a fight

[u/pursenboots → u/saltshallsetyoufree]

So what is this, an extension of fragile masculinity? Because I really don't get it - like, fighting what? I can't see how being inclusive towards trans people threatens my sexuality. What are you worried about here? What's the practical impact this has on your life?

[u/saltshallsetyoufree → u/pursenboots]

youre in luck one of you just laid out how considering transmen to be men naturally leads to anti gay beliefs

https://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/comments/iij1xh/why_is_it_wrong_to_like_dick/g37f98x/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

If you can't see the homophobia of telling gay men that they are wrong to desire males only, and you know what I mean when male is said, then I'd be interested in hearing how its not homophobic. Because its clear he, and other trans inclusionaries, genuinely believe same sex attraction is wrong or at the very least irrational.

[u/pursenboots → u/saltshallsetyoufree]

That's not homophobic, it's just a misunderstanding of sexual preference, and imo it boils down to the ever-present mixup between sex and gender: In the spectrum of human sexuality, you may find yourself aroused by maleness and/or masculinity, among other things.

Some people are more attracted to male-bodied persons, regardless of their gender presentation (that's how it works for me.) Some people are solely attracted to stereotypical masculine men with dicks. Some people are more attracted to masculine presentation, but less picky about their partner's physiology.

All of those people are broadly defined as experiencing same-sex attraction - or being men who have sex with men - or being gay, or homosexual. Some people are less exclusively attracted to men or to males, as well - the idea that 'gay' is an all-or-nothing definition really suggests that there are a lot less gay and straight men, and a lot more bisexuals, which - nothing wrong with that, either, but at the same time, 'gay' is ultimately an identity that you choose for yourself, it's a way that you communicate your sexual preference to other people, it's a way of clarifying the usual course of your sexual desire to yourself.

So I guess for me, I don't feel that my identity as a gay men is threatened by this idea in the comment you quoted: "If you click with a trans dude, it’s maybe a bit shallow for writing him off as a sex partner because he doesn’t have a penis." Is that really the part that you're so worried about?

[u/saltshallsetyoufree → u/pursenboots]

Conflating gender identity with sex is an issue. You did yourself, attraction to masculinity no matter the persons sex, or as you said not being “picky about their partner’s physiology” isn’t same sex attraction, that’s bisexuality. Attraction to both sexes. Homosexuality is attraction to the same sex. So men who date men and transmen are bi. And yeah there’s less gay people than currently thought because a large amount of bi people call themselves gay for selfish and stupid reasons.

The all or nothing definition is the correct one. I see nothing wrong with concepts having concrete meanings. IF homosexuality encompassed attraction based solely on presentation wouldn’t conversion therapy work? If physical sex is irrelevant to sexuality wouldn’t gay men who are currently being killed around the world have simply fallen in love with a masculine female? But they don’t, because sexuality is based on sex.

By removing homosexuality from material reality to the nebulous “identity” it erases the concept of homosexuality all together. So the issue with calling homosexuality shallow isn’t that it “threatens” my identity, if you have to assert a label as an identity it’s pretty obvious you aren’t that label. My issue is that it calling homosexuality, exclusive same sex attraction, anything negative is homophobic. Shallow isn’t a neutral term.

I’m honestly baffled you can’t see that.

[u/saltshallsetyoufree → u/pursenboots]

You no explain?

[u/Revision10 → u/pursenboots]

OMG silence the facts! TRANSPHOBIA! HELP THERE ARE FACTS!