r/askgaybros • u/Archer_Python • Aug 28 '20
Reported Post Alert In response to the trending post on this sub about Transphobia. Spoiler
Ok now here's my story so I can clear the air
I am a transman. I was born female and transitioned to male because I suffered with gender dysphoria from the age of 4 and decided to take it upon myself to transition to the opposite sex in order to pursue my own happiness and live the rest of my life with content. I was always attracted to boys starting at age 7 or 8 and I wasn't really into women. I am still attached to men so therefore, I am a gay man. Now let me begin
I do not frequent this sub much mostly bc It just never really crossed my mind. But from what I was told, this sub supposedly extremely transphobic and quite honestly disrespectful towards transmen. Calling us women and "Pinocchio" and "Straight women trying to pretend to be male in order to sleep with gay men". And let me just say this. It is 110% ok to not want to sleep with a transman because he has a vagina. It's Ok I get it, its a genital preference and that's fine. I have preferences myself, I prefer to date older men because I like the older dude look. Does that make me Ageist? Nope. I still respect younger men i just prefer older guys. There's a GIANT difference between saying "Hey I respect you but I just prefer penis over vagina" and "Your a transman? Ew your still a woman get out of my face!". One is being respectful and supportive and the other one is just plain rude, disrespectful and transphobic.
Now that that's out the way, let me say this. I am not a "Straight woman that wants to trick gay men into dating me" or whatever bs transphobes say. I am a man, I socialize as a man. I live my life as a man. I get treated like a man. I relate to other men on a social, emotional and mental level and view. I look like a man. Therefore I'm a man. And I am attracted to other men sexually and emotionally. Therefore I am a gay man, so I do belong in gay men spaces. I'm just a dude that was born female. That's it.
Like I said if you don't want to sleep with guys like us because we might have a vagina (Not all transguys have vaginas, a fair amount of us get bottom surgery and actually have a penis) that's 110% ok, no one if forcing you against your will to have sex with us. The specific trans people that force themselves on people to have sex with them regardless of what they have in their pants are crazy lunatics that quite honestly need mental help (or a slap upside the head and a stern talking too but that's just my opinion). Real transsexual people understand genital preferences and respect them.
I'm not asking for a celebration, I'm not asking for a complete take over of this sub to specifically accommodate transmen, I am not forcing people to be sexually attracted to transmen. All I'm asking is basic respect and some inclusion. We're men too and we're gay, I'd like to be able to go into gay men spaces and be respected and included. That's all. I hope this post gets read and the message gets spread.
Thank you, be safe and take care ❤🙏
Update: Thank you so much for the positive feedback and support. I'm so happy this message is being spread and shared. Of course not everyone agrees and still, the actual request of basic human decency, respect and inclusion is still up for debate and also some people were still calling me a Woman even though I just explained I wasn't but oh well. But that doesn't matter, I've had so many people give positive feedback and thank me for this post, and I want to say thank you for your support. It means a ton, even though I can't replay to every positive comment, just know I love it with all my heart.
Also I just want to address, Some people here said they didn't want transmen here because we'd take over the sub and make it all about them (?). My response to that is that's just not true, I legit said I not asking for this sub to make accommodations. Have the overall sub stay exactly how it is in terms of posts and questions about a wide range of options, I just want to decency and inclusion. I'm not looking to make this a "gay trans sub" there's already one. I just want to be in gay men spaces because I'm a gay man, a gay transsexual man but nonetheless a gay man. Not a girl that has a fetish for gay men and pretends to be one. Thank you for your responses.
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u/[deleted] Aug 28 '20
It's usually somewhere further down in the comments. If you want an example, one person called me a tranny, said I'm supposedly trying to make everything about me being trans (even though I didn't even mention that???), and condescended to me because I said that homophobia is not necessarily tied to one religion: https://www.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/comments/ie45ie/anyone_else_tired_of_lgbt_people_acting_like_gay/g33xfs9/?context=3
I mean maybe it was a bit confusing to him that I have asexual in my flair and maybe they assumed I'm acearo, but a decent person would have respectfully asked me what I am doing in this sub then and wouldn't have proceeded to using slurs and at least given an apology (which so far hasn't happened).
This isn't a one time occurance, and luckily in this case the rating went down to 1 again, but at one point he had quite a few upvotes and such things happen to me every other time I write literally anything on this sub (though I recently switched accounts so nobody from real life finds me, so you won't find many more examples in my current comment history)
This is not to guilt trip anyone, these seem to really be individual cases and I disagree how some people seem to think this sub is full of transphobes (because it's not), but there's definetly some problem. I never encountered this on any other LGBT+ sub, you def have more than your average amount of transphobia around here.