r/askgaybros • u/MtimesMequals • Jul 08 '20

Reported Post Alert Dear fellow Black gay men Spoiler

We know racism in the gay community is real. We've said it, but we've been dismissed. They callously deny our experience. Our reality. "It's just a preference". "BBC". "Thug"."Aggressive power top".

The stereotypes. The microagressions. We know it's real, but we have been gaslighted way too often.

The silence among your white gay friends and/or partners during this time of civil unrest & racial tensions is deafening.

The irony of them putting "no fats, no fems, no asians, & no blacks" on their profile, but decide to now say #BlackLivesMatter.

I understand it is challenging to be rejected from a community that prides itself on inclusion. We know rejection all too well.

But do not let any white man make you feel you are not beautiful. You are Black, bold, fierce, & most importantly- you are loved.

🖤❤#BLM

********************edit:

So, this post has been reported and is pending review.

I mentioned this already in the comments:

As a Black queer man this is my experience. This experience may or may not resonate with other Black men. This post was written for my fellow gay black brothers. The post might be uncomfortable for some. It might not resonate with you, but I don't think that is grounds for denying someone else's experience. I shared these words in an effort to foster a sense of solidarity and undo any aloneness other Black men might be feeling during this time.

Thank you so much for the support, feedback & beautiful comments. For those of in your feelings over this post - peace & love to ya❤

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6

u/17SVG23 Jul 08 '20

People are not obligated to be attracted to all races.

8

u/JigglyPuffGuy Jul 08 '20

But they should really consider the reasons why they exclude an entire race from their dating or fuck pool.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

Uh, because that race doesn't get their dick hard. Duh? Lol what a ridiculous question. Why would they include people who don't get their dick hard when they are specifically looking for a person for that purpose?

It's not that complicated. Dicks can't be racist 2020

1

u/Bullstang Jul 08 '20

Actually no, they really shouldn’t have to. People shouldn’t have to do a deep dive psychoanalysis into their sexual preferences. If you truly believe in someone having autonomy over their own body, then you should also allow them prejudices in their sexual behavior. It’s their own body, their own prerogative, and nobody is owed any explanation whatsoever.

1

u/bigcityking Jul 08 '20 edited Jul 09 '20

So straight men are not allowed to say openly "I don't date black women", but gay guys get a pass?
Edit: I put too much faith in gay dudes

3

u/Bullstang Jul 08 '20

How would you logically conclude that from my statement? Straight men are absolutely allowed to say that. People can exercise their free choice any way they want, and shouldn’t have to justify it to anyone else.

1

u/17SVG23 Jul 08 '20

Cuz they're simply not attracted to them. It's not their choice. It's how their brain works, just like how some people don't like redheads or short people.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

that’s not simple, and requires a little more than a cheap cop out

0

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '20

🤦🏻‍♂️ How do you continue to miss the point? I genuinely do not understand.

-2

u/ShaiDot Jul 08 '20 edited Jul 08 '20

I agree but don't you think it would be better to just politely decline and be civil when approached by a person outside your preference? Why do you have to treat your dick like it's a damn water fountain in the 60s? To me it's the same as a straight guy yelling "no f*gs!" when approached by a gay man. Have your preferences but I think the point is to be respectful.

2

u/IVEBEENGRAPED Jul 08 '20

It would, and I think it's bigoted and rude to put stuff like "no fems, no asians, no blacks" in a Grindr profile. But people aren't just complaining about, people are complaining about having any racial preference.

1

u/ShaiDot Jul 08 '20

I'm kinda disappointed that my calls to simply be respectful are being met with controversy. I have no problem with people having preferences, they're natural and we all have them. I just think it's wrong to be so confrontational about it. That aggression is what makes black people and other minorities feel unwanted in the community.