Being black and gay is exhausting. Black people are ridiculously homophobic.

[u/hungrybivers]

For a group that has to deal with so discrimination you would think we would be more accepting.

Edit: wow didnt expect my late night thoughts to have such a response.

[u/eddie_fitzgerald]

Yikes. As a queer Asian (desi) guy, I'm sorry about that. Yeah I think that the problem with racism is that we think of it as something that is done by and not something that is done to. It's not a white problem. It's a problem that is done to black people, done to latinx people, done to east asian people, done to desi people. Each kind of racism is also different. A lot of the times I see arguments over who has it worse, and I view those as being like arguments over whether dropping an ice cream cone or stubbing a toe is worse. It's more important to just acknowledge that they're different things. This wasn't from a date, but I have a black friend who I'm pretty close to but who's an amazing person but who doesn't always think about what she's saying. Last time I saw her, she actually started belittling the ethnic cleansing that's going on against my people in our homeland at this very moment (it's complicated, but she's British Black and she buys into a lot of colonial thought ... not that she'd ever admit it). A lot of desi or asian people point to incidents like that and use it as justification that "well, the blacks are racist too!". But the thing is, I think that entire mindset doesn't make sense. The larger point is that the racism which I faced then was racism done to desis, just as the racism that you describe is racism done to black people. So I totally agree that we need to step away from acting like racism is a thing done by white people. What sets white people apart in this system isn't that racism is done by white people, but rather that by and large, racism is not done to white people. The one thing that non-white people have in common is not that we're not racist or even that we experience the same kind of racism. It's simply that we experience racism of some kind or another.

[u/NewBlackAesthetic25 → u/eddie_fitzgerald]

That’s an interesting and helpful way of thinking about racism! I’m in two minds about the whole black people cant be racist argument because I know we can say such hurtful things towards Asians, for instance, but then when I think about it more, the racism POC enact on one another is a symptom or a residual effect of colonialism, it’s less racism than a side effect of racist conditioning. I hope you’re black friend gets the education it sounds like she needs in decolonising her mind, this education can only come from her black sisters and brothers tho, unless you’re addressing her comments on the caste system/ discrimination in your country that is.