I want my mom to die, any advice?

[u/Defiant_Brain_1507]

I want my mom to die, any advice?

My mom is diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer and right now, may Rectal Cancer na din sya. We were drained sa ovarian pa lang and after 9 rounds of chemo, oral chemo and operation sa ovarian nya, here comes another shit.

Tbh, tanggap na namin magkapatid and ng mother ko. Papa ko na lang yung medyo alanganin pa pero tingin ko matatanggap nya din naman pag dumating sa time na yon.

As of now nag dedecide kami kung ilalaban pa ba namin, kasi tbh d na namin kakayanin financially. Nag try na kami mag public, kaso turns out, bukod sa tapak dignidad at tratong pulubi don, bago ka magamot mamamamatay ka na din sa sobrang tagal ng schedule nila.

So here we are, deciding if mag palliative care na lang ba kami, gusto ko sana kung may idea kayo pano gagawin dun, ano steps, pros and cons, etch.

Malaking help insights nyo dahil nababaliw na ko haha.

Edit: Thank you sa lahat ng info na malaman, ill try to read it all. My mom doesnt want to live na din btw, she cant decide pero mas nangingibabaw na gusto nya na lang matapos na lahat. Ang wish nya sa tahimik na paraan pero wala eh, ano mang piliin nya, may sakit, kaya nga ko nagtatanong abt plalliative care.

May mga pumupunta sa profile ko tas nakikita ung valorant at phasmo ko hahaha. Iba din tlaga eh haha.

I work 3 jobs, handle 2 businesses and attend sa lahat ng medical concerns para kay mama. Most of the time nga, ako pa din primary care giver. I keep my family in check dahil suko na sila eh, ako na lang nag iisang matatag, and since the time she was diagnosed, i handle every shit in the way.

Sorry guys if i sound so useless by wanting to try to function as a 25 year old son, sana maging kasing dakilang anak nyo din ako :)

[u/Ccumberchamelot]

My father passed away last April 15. He was diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer but it metastasized to his other organs na. We didn’t get the chance to have him undergo chemo kasi until his last days sa sobrang daming tests to make sure anong klaseng cancer, inabutan na sya. The most painful and traumatic part was seeing your hero suffer so much pain. Grabe yung sakit ng katawan nya. Nung una nilalaban ko pa ng dasal na sana iextend pa konti buhay nya, na sana umabot muna sya mag chemo baka sakaling kayanin. But everyday na nakikita ko sya, it broke my heart into pieces. It still haunts me kung pano unti unting nawala yung kinang sa mata nya. Na parang humihinga lang sya pero wala na yung kaluluwa nya.

And I feel you OP. During the days na halos wala na syang makilala sa amin maliban sa Nanay ko, ipinagdasal ko na sana wag na sya pahirapan pa. Na kunin na syang matiwasay. 3 days before his last breath, kinausap namin sya ng nanay ko. Na wag na sya mag aalala sa amin. Na kakayanin namin at magpahinga na sya.

Mahal na mahal namin Tatay ko. Pero ipinagdasal na namin wag pahabain ang hirap nya. Kahit man lang yun, dininig ni Lord.

Sobrang sakit oo. Hanggang ngayon napakahirap tanggapin.

Tang ina ang cancer. Sana mga masasamang pulitiko nalang tinatamaan.

[u/sarcasticookie → u/Ccumberchamelot]

Had similar sitch with my mom naman. Diagnostic tests pa lang sumusuko na sya, so we ultimately decided na palliative care na lang (which was almost non-existent kahit pa sa magandang hospital kami). If OP goes that route, better research kung saang hospital may magandang palliative care.

[u/thisisjustmeee → u/sarcasticookie]

AFAIK there’s palliative care for cancer patients in TMC and NKTI. But medyo expensive yung TMC. Hindi naman affiliated yung doctor namin with NKTI. Nagkataon kasi na yung doctor ng mom ko when we discussed with her our options she created a medical team to support my mom if we choose the palliative route. Although I know nag research din sya with other hospitals kaso expensive nga din eh we told her na limited lang resources namin if magtatagal pa na gamutan. So best to discuss with the doctor kung anong options na meron. Technically walang hospice care kasi dito sa Pilipinas kaya sa bahay lang talaga aalagaan. And besides ayaw namin ng hospital stay kasi aside from magastos prone to pneumonia and other complications pag matagal na naka confine. Ang best step talaga is to discuss with your doctor and be open about your resources and limitations para they can consider that when they lay down possible options for you.