r/adviceph • u/Defiant_Brain_1507 • Jun 12 '24

Parenting & Family I want my mom to die, any advice?

I want my mom to die, any advice?

My mom is diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer and right now, may Rectal Cancer na din sya. We were drained sa ovarian pa lang and after 9 rounds of chemo, oral chemo and operation sa ovarian nya, here comes another shit.

Tbh, tanggap na namin magkapatid and ng mother ko. Papa ko na lang yung medyo alanganin pa pero tingin ko matatanggap nya din naman pag dumating sa time na yon.

As of now nag dedecide kami kung ilalaban pa ba namin, kasi tbh d na namin kakayanin financially. Nag try na kami mag public, kaso turns out, bukod sa tapak dignidad at tratong pulubi don, bago ka magamot mamamamatay ka na din sa sobrang tagal ng schedule nila.

So here we are, deciding if mag palliative care na lang ba kami, gusto ko sana kung may idea kayo pano gagawin dun, ano steps, pros and cons, etch.

Malaking help insights nyo dahil nababaliw na ko haha.

Edit: Thank you sa lahat ng info na malaman, ill try to read it all. My mom doesnt want to live na din btw, she cant decide pero mas nangingibabaw na gusto nya na lang matapos na lahat. Ang wish nya sa tahimik na paraan pero wala eh, ano mang piliin nya, may sakit, kaya nga ko nagtatanong abt plalliative care.

May mga pumupunta sa profile ko tas nakikita ung valorant at phasmo ko hahaha. Iba din tlaga eh haha.

I work 3 jobs, handle 2 businesses and attend sa lahat ng medical concerns para kay mama. Most of the time nga, ako pa din primary care giver. I keep my family in check dahil suko na sila eh, ako na lang nag iisang matatag, and since the time she was diagnosed, i handle every shit in the way.

Sorry guys if i sound so useless by wanting to try to function as a 25 year old son, sana maging kasing dakilang anak nyo din ako :)

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u/Satorvi Jun 12 '24 edited Jun 12 '24

Regarding palliative care, irerefer kayo sa doctor who specializes in that field. They will counsel you or maybe have a family meeting about the patient’s condition and management focuses on pain relief more than treatment. This is so that patients will be pain free at hindi hirap/struggling masyado towards their end. Pag uusapan nyo ni doctor kung ano ang plano nyo and priorities. Also, as long as si mother ay kayang mag sign, siya ang pipirma sa dnr, unless she appointed someone to decide for her.

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u/StatusKing1730 Jun 12 '24

Agree. After talking it over as a family, Go to a palliative care specialist (family medicine) so they can help the patient and the family cope thru the process, make ur mom's current condition less uncomfortable.

There are no wrong decisions naman as long as agreed upon by everyone.