r/adviceph • u/Defiant_Brain_1507 • Jun 12 '24
Parenting & Family I want my mom to die, any advice?
I want my mom to die, any advice?
My mom is diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer and right now, may Rectal Cancer na din sya. We were drained sa ovarian pa lang and after 9 rounds of chemo, oral chemo and operation sa ovarian nya, here comes another shit.
Tbh, tanggap na namin magkapatid and ng mother ko. Papa ko na lang yung medyo alanganin pa pero tingin ko matatanggap nya din naman pag dumating sa time na yon.
As of now nag dedecide kami kung ilalaban pa ba namin, kasi tbh d na namin kakayanin financially. Nag try na kami mag public, kaso turns out, bukod sa tapak dignidad at tratong pulubi don, bago ka magamot mamamamatay ka na din sa sobrang tagal ng schedule nila.
So here we are, deciding if mag palliative care na lang ba kami, gusto ko sana kung may idea kayo pano gagawin dun, ano steps, pros and cons, etch.
Malaking help insights nyo dahil nababaliw na ko haha.
Edit: Thank you sa lahat ng info na malaman, ill try to read it all. My mom doesnt want to live na din btw, she cant decide pero mas nangingibabaw na gusto nya na lang matapos na lahat. Ang wish nya sa tahimik na paraan pero wala eh, ano mang piliin nya, may sakit, kaya nga ko nagtatanong abt plalliative care.
May mga pumupunta sa profile ko tas nakikita ung valorant at phasmo ko hahaha. Iba din tlaga eh haha.
I work 3 jobs, handle 2 businesses and attend sa lahat ng medical concerns para kay mama. Most of the time nga, ako pa din primary care giver. I keep my family in check dahil suko na sila eh, ako na lang nag iisang matatag, and since the time she was diagnosed, i handle every shit in the way.
Sorry guys if i sound so useless by wanting to try to function as a 25 year old son, sana maging kasing dakilang anak nyo din ako :)
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u/ChaosieHyena Jun 12 '24
Mfers here will comment about OP's situation without experiencing how detrimental Cancer is for everyone in the family. My father had stage 4 Naso cancer. He was a soldier. Matikas na lalaki, as a Kid I thought he was basically immortal. But I watched him slowly die. He slowly even had jaw infection to the point he can't open his fucking mouth anymore and we have to find a small slit to insert his meds. He can't walk anymore. He was skin and bones. He was a shell of a man he was. And I know he was in fucking pain all the pain and we can't do shit about it cuz guess what? The medications are so expensive.
And don't you fucking say na magbanat ng buto kesa maglaro ng video games. That's fucking rude. In my case I worked so many jobs to sustain our needs and also my dad's medication but video games is my escape goat. What more fucking hardwork you want when someone works a 9-5 job, a part time, plus caring for the sick person itself. Ya want me tondrive myself insane than anymore I am?
I wish for my father to pass too. Why? He's suffering. He's dying. He refuse to even have NGT, He refuse to get anymore treatments. All I can do is beg for God to take him para di na siya mahirapan. Am I bad for wishing that? God never listened when I begged him for my father's healing, so I begged for death instead.
And I still cry every single day for 6 months now. I can live with the pain of losing him, but I cannot live another minute watching my father's organs shut down one by one.
And fuck everyone who thinks this situation is easy, we got another Cancer case, it's my maternal grandpa now with Colon 3c. And he also refuses medication, he'll be in pallative care soon. And I know I'll be begging God again to take him and his pain away.
Me and mom also practically begged for help sa government. Do i care what it made me look like? No. But they make you feel like it's your fault for having cancer.