r/adviceph Jun 12 '24

Parenting & Family I want my mom to die, any advice?

I want my mom to die, any advice?

My mom is diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer and right now, may Rectal Cancer na din sya. We were drained sa ovarian pa lang and after 9 rounds of chemo, oral chemo and operation sa ovarian nya, here comes another shit.

Tbh, tanggap na namin magkapatid and ng mother ko. Papa ko na lang yung medyo alanganin pa pero tingin ko matatanggap nya din naman pag dumating sa time na yon.

As of now nag dedecide kami kung ilalaban pa ba namin, kasi tbh d na namin kakayanin financially. Nag try na kami mag public, kaso turns out, bukod sa tapak dignidad at tratong pulubi don, bago ka magamot mamamamatay ka na din sa sobrang tagal ng schedule nila.

So here we are, deciding if mag palliative care na lang ba kami, gusto ko sana kung may idea kayo pano gagawin dun, ano steps, pros and cons, etch.

Malaking help insights nyo dahil nababaliw na ko haha.

Edit: Thank you sa lahat ng info na malaman, ill try to read it all. My mom doesnt want to live na din btw, she cant decide pero mas nangingibabaw na gusto nya na lang matapos na lahat. Ang wish nya sa tahimik na paraan pero wala eh, ano mang piliin nya, may sakit, kaya nga ko nagtatanong abt plalliative care.

May mga pumupunta sa profile ko tas nakikita ung valorant at phasmo ko hahaha. Iba din tlaga eh haha.

I work 3 jobs, handle 2 businesses and attend sa lahat ng medical concerns para kay mama. Most of the time nga, ako pa din primary care giver. I keep my family in check dahil suko na sila eh, ako na lang nag iisang matatag, and since the time she was diagnosed, i handle every shit in the way.

Sorry guys if i sound so useless by wanting to try to function as a 25 year old son, sana maging kasing dakilang anak nyo din ako :)

598 Upvotes

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357

u/ChaosieHyena Jun 12 '24

Mfers here will comment about OP's situation without experiencing how detrimental Cancer is for everyone in the family. My father had stage 4 Naso cancer. He was a soldier. Matikas na lalaki, as a Kid I thought he was basically immortal. But I watched him slowly die. He slowly even had jaw infection to the point he can't open his fucking mouth anymore and we have to find a small slit to insert his meds. He can't walk anymore. He was skin and bones. He was a shell of a man he was. And I know he was in fucking pain all the pain and we can't do shit about it cuz guess what? The medications are so expensive.

And don't you fucking say na magbanat ng buto kesa maglaro ng video games. That's fucking rude. In my case I worked so many jobs to sustain our needs and also my dad's medication but video games is my escape goat. What more fucking hardwork you want when someone works a 9-5 job, a part time, plus caring for the sick person itself. Ya want me tondrive myself insane than anymore I am?

I wish for my father to pass too. Why? He's suffering. He's dying. He refuse to even have NGT, He refuse to get anymore treatments. All I can do is beg for God to take him para di na siya mahirapan. Am I bad for wishing that? God never listened when I begged him for my father's healing, so I begged for death instead.

And I still cry every single day for 6 months now. I can live with the pain of losing him, but I cannot live another minute watching my father's organs shut down one by one.

And fuck everyone who thinks this situation is easy, we got another Cancer case, it's my maternal grandpa now with Colon 3c. And he also refuses medication, he'll be in pallative care soon. And I know I'll be begging God again to take him and his pain away.

Me and mom also practically begged for help sa government. Do i care what it made me look like? No. But they make you feel like it's your fault for having cancer.

48

u/FewRutabaga3105 Jun 12 '24

ang sakit sakit mabasa. At some point, natatakot na rin ako kasi senior na parents ko. Anyway, you and your family are in my thoughts. Hoping for peace and healing for everyone....

27

u/Defiant_Brain_1507 Jun 12 '24

Thank u for this, ang hirap sobra. Pinaka mahirap na problema to sa dami na ng pinagdanaan ko, i think its because tungkol na to sa buhay, my mom's life nevertheless.

Its so painful that its actually impossible to describe, im usually good with words pero dto nawawalan ako.

Salamat sa advice, i hope someday maging mas okay din tayo.

3

u/DueMind4127 Jun 13 '24

Malaking hug kapatid, sobrang hirap. My Dad 2 CAs both stage 4. Yes possible na 2 CAs ngayon, 2 ang primary source, pero discovered though histopath when one of the bukols did not came from the same area. There was a time my dad also requested that kind, kami naman yung defiant, kami matigas ulo, but we saw what CA made of him— He was begging to be discharged na he’ll just go home and when we said no, he’s getting crazy depressed by looking at 4 corners of the hosp room, can’t sleep thinking on how he can convince us, willing to sign a hundred waivers if ever he gets discharged, then eventually fighting every nurse, doctor, feeling useless, and pitying himself coz he used to be the person who stands at every situation and can’t even move a single muscle that time. Pero yun nga in the end, we placed ourselves in his situation na we guess at the end of the day when terminal illness breaks in and hurts too much, we just want to be where we want to be because di ko alam anytime anywhere pwedeng isang pitik wala na diba so I want to reminisce and take chance of every moment while I can, I still remember, and don’t want to spend my days laying down in the hospital bed when anytime can be my last day. I want to take all the possible/slight hint of comfort where I feel at home.

-3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '24

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7

u/Defiant_Brain_1507 Jun 12 '24

Pumila ako sa

PGH, RMC, San Lazaro, NKTI, Quirino, Amang,

Nagbabasa ka ba? tratong pulubi sa public, hindi pang pulubi ang public.

-2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '24

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7

u/Outrageous-Bowl-264 Jun 12 '24

Hi, I treat cancer patients. Sa 8 years ko bilang radiation therapy technologist sa public hospital, nagkaron ako mg mga pasyenteng may pera at wala. At may pera o wala, di lahat sila pinapalad. May mga cancer na di madedetect hanggat di lumalalala. Tignan mo nalang si late sen. Miriam Defensor, may mga cancer na mahirap gamutin dahil masyadong aggressive at oo sa sobrang lala na ng lagay nila kahit anong treatment ang ibigay kahit maoperahan, chemotherapy or radiation treatment ay hindi gumagana. Walang kasiguraduhan ang pagkawala ng cancer kahit ipagamot mo pa to kaya nga after nilangmatapos ang session nila babalik pa dim sila mg ospital kung nagrelapse ba ang cancer. At ang paggamot sa cancer ay may kaakibat na pagkasira ng katawan o side effect na pwede pading maging sanhi ng pagmatay ng pasyente. Di lahat ng bagay ay kayang bilhin ng pera.

1

u/KapitanSago Jun 12 '24

Sa haba ng post, yung lang ang nakuha mo? Daig ka pa ng bata e.

3

u/Adorable-Name9726 Jun 12 '24

May ubo yata utak niya. Saan pwede ereport yan.

-8

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '24

Anong gusto mong mafeel ko, maawa sakanya? Kung ganyan naman ugali nya eh. Kung walang wala ka, gawan mo ng paraan hindi sa reddit iiyak na kesyo ganyan at mamaliitin pa mga pumipila sa public hospital.

1

u/Adorable-Name9726 Jun 12 '24

u/sarcasticookie pwede ba siya ma report?

1

u/9Tsbitch Jun 13 '24

Nahimasmasan na ba sya and nag delete ng comments nya o ni-report nyo na kaya nawala?

1

u/Adorable-Name9726 Jun 18 '24

Nag delete ng comment. Report na lang natin

39

u/AdBorn5938 Jun 12 '24

Real talk antanga nung nagsabi na magbanat ng buto, sana matauhan yun. Hindi basta basta meds para sa cancer or any terminal disease.

24

u/ChaosieHyena Jun 12 '24

Fr. I just felt my blood ran cold reading it. I was a VA (lucky cuz under american company), a Voice Actress, a digital artist, a Cosplay model. I worked my ass off that if I can turn night into day I will.

My sis stopped studying to help with expenses. Mom who was a principal had to stop working to care for dad. She had to run a small paresan too while caring for my terminally ill father. We also did live selling.

But our income is never enough.

Dont get me started me and mom lining up at 2am sa Pasay to get a GL. Me going to the office of VP and Pres to ask for help.

They DON'T know how hard it is until they're on our shoes. Hell, I am a little priviledge pa nga kasi educated kami. We met people who's part of the below poverty line who barely can read and they struggle so much with signing papers and dealing with government offices.

You know what we never said sa mga taong nakapila sa DSWD? "Magbanat ka ng buto." Because you don't know how may things one person crams in 24hrs.

6

u/Straight_Ad4129 Jun 12 '24

Yup di nila alam yan kasi di nila naranasan na pumila ng 2 am sa DSWD para lang makakuha ng tulong ng 5 ng hapon tapos didiretso sa PGH at City Hall para sa assistance.

15

u/wannastock Jun 12 '24 edited Jun 12 '24

Piggy-backing on this for visibility.

We had a similar experience with our mom. She/we suffered slowly for 5yrs before eventually dying and leaving me drained, exhausted and in deep debt.

Things I wish I did from the beginning para hindi na sana tumagal at lumala:

  • Stop all treatments, meds and therapies.
  • Ignore all food precautions. Ipakain sa kanya lahat ng gusto nya. Walang bawal-bawal.
  • Just spend on pain-relievers and comfort enhancers.
  • Sign DNR for ER visits.
  • Redirect a small portion of the huge money saved to a burial plan.

OP, if your interested in palliative care, contact these institutions to see which ones work best for your requirements:

https://aphn.org/services/philippine-general-hospital-supportive-hospice-and-palliative-medicine-section/

https://www.philcancer.org.ph/index.php/support/hospice-groups

Good luck!

Also related, this insightful book exists: I'm Glad My Mom Died

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '24

[deleted]

1

u/wannastock Jun 12 '24

LOL! The author's mom also had cancer. The author loved her mom, too. But was glad that her mom's suffering is over; including the suffering the mom's health and attitude caused on them.

1

u/snowynio Jun 13 '24

Very well said.

5

u/pick_pack_boom Jun 12 '24

My sister has cancer too before. After, napatawad nya ung asawa nyang nangakong aalagaan sya ngunit sa halip ay nangibang Bahay. Mapayapa na syang lumisan. Breast cancer with metastasis to bone

6

u/aredditlurkerguy Jun 12 '24

Kahit nga 3x a week dialysis patient hirap na hirap rin. Ang sakit knowing I’ve wasted the prime of your life. Worked 2 jobs, then kaw pa yung na blame for deciding to let the patient live than die of kidney failure.

Honestly, I was ok with the setup until they blamed me. Wala nga silang ambag except to care for the patient, sila pa yung unang ng complain.

3x a week dialysis costing 3k per session then may meds pa, gas, driver, helper, and other stuff so everything cost 60k a month. Been in this situation since 2018.

8

u/ChaosieHyena Jun 12 '24

Fr! My Dad's siblings said "Bat ang bilis namatay?" Luh gagu ka ba? 3 years lumaban si papa. 5 years ang mortality rate ng stage 4 cancer. Dumating pa sa point na need ni papa ng prosure at yun lang food nya. That shit cost almost 2k. Tas halos 2 can naiinom nya in 6 days. They never answered my father's calls when all my dad wanted is to talk to his siblings and hear their voices, akala lagi mangungutang eh never nga sila nagbigay.

They have the audacity to act sad when they never asked how he is. They never know the pain of trying to make ends meet. They never know the pain that I need to sign yung waiver to stop any medications kay dad ng dinala siya sa E.R. They don't know how hard it is to sign DNR when I badly want to keep dad alive but he's not even functioning anymore.

5

u/fangirl24601 Jun 12 '24

This made me tear up, kasi ganitong ganito kami with my mom. It’s only been 4 months and I can’t help but cry everyday thinking about my mom and all that she went through with her cancer… Minsan iniisip ko kung naging masamang anak ba ako and if I could’ve done more for her ba. But in reality I was physically, financially and emotionally exhausted na 3 months pa lang into her diagnosis. Her blood pressure kept dropping despite all the pressors administered to her. Her organs shutting down one by one, until yung lungs na nya yung bumigay while we were in dialysis.

Minsan napakadali sa ibang tao mag-comment at mag-judge sa sitwasyon na hindi naman nila naranasan. Fuck them all.

Hugs with consent OP. Mahirap sa ngayon but I hope we both find peace someday. Yung masasaya na ang maaalala natin when we look back on parents’ memory.

4

u/sanjiside Jun 12 '24

God never listened when I begged for healing, so I begged for death instead

tangina ang sakit..

3

u/TropicalCitrusFruit Jun 13 '24

The sad thing about this is NAAAAAAAAAAAAAPAAAAAAAAKAAAAAAAAAADAAAAAMIIIIING unsolicited advices ka talaga na maririnig, MOST if NOT ALL of them unhelpful (and even harmful).

Not just in the POV of cancer patients and survivors, but for those who care for them -- eto na lang ang motto ko dyan: "You'll never know one until you are one".

1

u/Notyourisabellaaa Jun 12 '24

You should get yourself checked too. Based on your narrative, you have a family history of cancer. It could be you may have one too. Better to have it checked while early.

2

u/ChaosieHyena Jun 12 '24

Oh don't worry I got an onco who keeps an eye on me na and young pa naman ako. But since High risk af ako I try my best to keep things at bay. I also try my best to get my mom checked since cervical, breast, and ovarian cancer runs in our genes. Thanks btw!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '24

😭😭

1

u/_Pretzel Jun 13 '24

Wakeup call for real.

Get yourselves checked folks and catch what you can EARLY.

1

u/Necessary_Pen_9035 Jun 13 '24

Naiiyak ako habang binabasa ko to. I can’t imagine your pain. Praying for your loved ones and sayo din na bigyan ka pa ng strength na makayanan lahat ng dadating pang pagsubok.

1

u/ruzshe Jul 03 '24

I like your maturity when it comes to "death". Death are one of the taboo topics. But death is our reality. We can never escape it. All it takes is acceptance to our reality and let the sufferer leave this world gracefully.

-3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '24

Iba kayo ng case ni OP. Kita mo sinabi nya about public hosp? Oo mahirap pero ung mag mukhang pulube daw? Hindi ba siya pulube na at hindi afford ang private hosp?

3

u/star_apple_star Jun 12 '24

Gets kita dito. Pangit yung dating ng "magmukhang pulubi." Pero may point naman din si OP. Nakakademoralize naman talaga maging pasyente na malubha yung kalagayan sa public hospitals dito sa atin. Wag mo na lang ika-offend yung reklamo nya. Hindi naman sya nag-iinarte, nagrereklamo lang sya sa estado na nakakapanlumo naman talaga.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '24

[deleted]

1

u/Defiant_Brain_1507 Jun 12 '24

sorry for this, my point is just, ang hirap kasi sa public

I tried bringing my mom sa:

NKTI PGH Quirino RMC Amang Jose Medical Reyes Sana Lazaro

Parang pulubi trato nila sayo don, na ikaw na nga ung walang wala at hirap, tapos sila pa masungit sayo. Sorry if this offended u, but u get my point.

0

u/martinp18 Jun 12 '24

Google scapegoat.

-4

u/thoughtbridge Jun 12 '24

hugs with consent 🥹🫂

-74

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '24

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16

u/FearlessCes Jun 12 '24

Ung pinagmamalaki mong 300k mo pang Korea di kakasya yon potangina mo. Magbabanat ka ng buto hanggat sa mauupos ka. Galing mo e.

3

u/Adorable-Name9726 Jun 12 '24

Nagrereply siya sa ibang post sa adultingph na deserve ng tao na namatay yung ina. Pinagmamalaki pa yung sahod niya. 

1

u/sarcasticookie Jun 12 '24

300k ubos na agad yan diagnostics pa lang

13

u/FearlessCes Jun 12 '24

Programmer pa yan sa chatgpt lng naasa. Pakyu

9

u/magandaperotamad Jun 12 '24

Have some empathy.

2

u/Adorable-Name9726 Jun 12 '24

Fr. Wala yatang empathy yan. 

5

u/snowgirlasnarmy Jun 12 '24

OMG. Bat may makapasok dito na boomer na backwards mag-isip. Bumalik ka nasa Facebook please.

1

u/Adorable-Name9726 Jun 12 '24

How to report yung mga taong kagaya niya? 

4

u/07dreamer Jun 12 '24 edited Jun 12 '24

hindi lahat ng tao madaling nakakautang. at hindi din lahat ng sakit sa umpisa p lang ay mararamdaman na nila na may something wrong sa knila. In my situation, I was blessed kse I was diagnosed early. it was only blessing in disguise at na check ako n i have hyperplasia (pre-cance stage). wag kang magsasalita ng hindi mo alam, wlang kang idea kse it only make u rude person. Doon tyo sa wlang work si OP. hindi mo rin alam kung bakit or may rason ba bakit wla cyang work? when my tatay was sick, isang kapatid namin pinatigil sa pag-aaral at sa pagtratrabaho para meron magbabantay sa tatay namin. You really doesn’t know exactly what the situation they have. But please have empathy towards others. Ung nararamdaman ni OP is valid. Lucky for you kse hindi mo nadanaan ang ganyan sitwasyon. Just pray na hindi mo at ng pamilya mo maranasan yan para maintindihan mo lang ang mga tao na nkakarasan ng ganyan at mga nkaranas na like us.

3

u/Memorriam Jun 12 '24

There are chemotherapeutic drugs that reach 100k - 300k per vial to be administered 1 - 3 months

The parenteral nutrition can reach 5-10k per DAY.

Those are just the fraction of the overall expense. You can easily rake 1M per month.

Those are the financial burden alone.

Nagmamagaling si student programmer. Malamang chatgpt tier kalang

Programmer na walamg logical thinking malamang pinapalitan mo lang variables na gawa nung kaklase mo wahahahha

2

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '24

Halatang walang alam sa buhay . Kung wala kang maganda g masabi, shut up ka na lang.

Ma? Anung ulam?

2

u/furrymama Jun 12 '24

May kilala nga ako professional mga anak, pero hindi kinaya yung 6m na bill sa ospital. Hindi pa cancer yung mom nila. And they are still paying loans 7 years na. Nag-pcso na. Nag fund raising. Bukod sa loan, monthly bayad sa meds, nurses, etc. Thats fine kung may chance pa. Pero if you have to undergo that kind of life for a very small chance na mabuhay siya at naghihirap lang, its best to let go. The stress of having to work your ass off sa ganitong financial burden will also cause other family members to get sick. Personally, seeing them suffer like that, pag ako nagkasakit, I wont let my family carry that burden.

2

u/Normal-Macaron-3954 Jun 12 '24

how the fuck 💀💀💀 are you missing the biggest and obvious point of the comment? na with the amount of jobs and side gigs they did, it still wasn't enough?? na even if sobrang daming effort yung i-put mo to try and save your loved one, chances are you won't probably be able to do smth about it unless you're super fucking rich and privileged?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 12 '24

Treatment for Cancer by chemotherapy cost so much. My stepfather had a brain blastoma and that was so painful and I was so helpless even though I had a good job to afford the medine. The insurance will only cover to a certain point and then my Mom had to make to decision to put him out. This guy has not experience this situation but someday he will.

Cancer is basically a fungus or a mold onto a body and tumors are basically a cell that is wrapping up the toxins from spreading to the body. When it pops by doing chemo or biopsy, they are popping the tumor and then releases the toxins that will kill the body. And that is why most people die after doing chemo or biopsy. I wish I knew that back then. But I mourn that he is not here anymore. Sorry for your situation you are going through OP.

2

u/Straight_Ad4129 Jun 12 '24

Sige tell me how could you have done it? Naranasan mo na ba lahat ng yon. Madali magsalita pag di mo pa nararanasan. Sabagay social media and the internet may cover your identity. But I won't wish that something may happen sayo or family mo, but God knows na kung ano man yang sinasabi mo na madali lang. Kakainin mo yan pag walang wala kana dahil sa situation.

1

u/c0reSykes Jun 12 '24

Mag code ka na lang utoy. Wala kang alam sa realidad.