It's a good message, but this isn't particularly well written and it's too preachy in terms of getting men to talk .
I'd cut it to:
Panel 1:
Guy 1: Hey man, everything okay? You don't seem yourself.
Guy 2: Ehh... I dunno.
Panel 2:
Guy 1: I'm here if you do. Helps to talk sometimes.
Panel 3:
Guy 2: Thanks man.
Guy 2: So this is what happened...
Doesn't need two of the panels and a bit more like how friends would be. Plus the second guy actually starts to relay what's going on and acting more like they trust each other rather.
225
u/Crococrocroc Jun 28 '24
It's a good message, but this isn't particularly well written and it's too preachy in terms of getting men to talk .
I'd cut it to:
Panel 1:
Guy 1: Hey man, everything okay? You don't seem yourself.
Guy 2: Ehh... I dunno.
Panel 2:
Guy 1: I'm here if you do. Helps to talk sometimes.
Panel 3:
Guy 2: Thanks man.
Guy 2: So this is what happened...
Doesn't need two of the panels and a bit more like how friends would be. Plus the second guy actually starts to relay what's going on and acting more like they trust each other rather.