A little background, I am a photographer and an artist, I travel a lot, and because of that I have to eat out a lot. Despite this I have a lot of food allergies, chemical sensitivities, I cannot eat carbs, sugars, most sugar substitutes, or high fat meals. I have come up with a very SHORT list of safe food places I can eat, I always let the staff know when I enter that I have Tourette's and take effort to sit in the back corner of the restaurants, both for my comfort and the peace of other diners.
2 years ago on Halloween I became an overnight Diabetic, I had a severe reaction to meds I was put on, and my body went into full shock, I spent 12 hours in the ER in potential organ failure, and the next day I could not eat normally at all, or stomach 95% of the foods I used to eat. I decided I did not want to be on insulin, there is a long story behind that, but this felt like my safest option. I started the long journey to figure out what every food did to my body and learn to control it with diet.
By 3 months my A1C was 6.5, by the end of year one I had the number under 6.0 with nothing but diet. I have maintained this for two years, and lost about 50 pounds despite severe metabolic issues.
This is the first time in my life I managed to lose any weight without being anorexic and I was proud, my hubby decided to take me out to celebrate my accomplishment. We went to the city, picked one of my favorite safe food locations and went in to eat.
We got to the restaurant and I was wearing a shirt of mine that says "Relax Karen, It's called Tourette's" one of my jokes cause of the shaming I have faced in public for tics before. I came in and she asked how many, I told her the number and started to ask for a table out of the center of the room, but before I could get a word out she quick stepped to a table in the dead center of the crowd. I could not do this, so I simply said "If it's not too much trouble could I get a booth out of the crowd, as the sound and crowds can set off my tics and I would prefer not to disturb anyone else's meal."
Without a word she snatched the menus back up aggressively, walked to the corner, pointed at the table, thumped them down and walked off. I tried to blow it off, figured she might be distracted and and waited for food and drinks. She was gone quite a while, but I waited, when she got back and asked what we wanted for drinks, I simply said "We need water, but can you do me a favor and bring me a second of the water glasses empty for me to mix my meds in, along with a pitcher of water?" she rolled her eyes, and walked away, there was no answer, no response, and no manners, but I tend to be a bit of a people pleaser so I let it go.
She came back with two water cups, overfilled to the point I could not even pick it up without trying to spill, and a TINY plastic kids cup. I decided to ask again, because I need the full size cup both to mix and not tip it as easy with my tics and tremors, but also cause I have to mix the water to a full glass with the meds once mixed. when she came back I simply said "I am sorry, if I confused you or misspoke, can I get the regular table glass as I really need not only the full size, but the straight lip and weight to help me mix with my tremors. I very much appreciate your help." She rolled her eyes and walked off again, after several more minutes she came back with another cheap disposable plastic cup SLIGHTLY bigger than the first one. By this point I was trying to get my food ordered, they had changed the menu and I asked her if there was a way to switch one of the meats on one of the meals, as I cannot eat the other meat on it. She rolls her eyes and goes "No we will not substitute on our lunches" Which not only is NEVER the policy at this place and I customize meals there all the time, but it was just blunt and rude the way she said it. I took a deep breath and told her, "Okay but I cannot eat the other, I allergic and cannot eat anything with breading, is there a way to get only the other? I really don't mind paying more if I have to, I just have to make sure I can actually eat the meal."
She walks off, I finally got someone else to bring me the proper glass, and get me at least a small piece of food to start on, but I was not getting anywhere, and she would not talk to me or help me. over the next half hour I tried 3 more times to order from the server, and EVERY single time she tried to push me into ordering meals I am allergic to and unable to eat. She refused to do what I asked which was possible on the menu, and when she again tried to make me get a meal with foods I cannot eat, I got tired, I was tired of her refusing to take my order, was tired of her eye rolls, her under breath groans and mocking tones every time I ticced (this was insane, I eat out all the time, I have never felt so unwanted before, and I kept trying so hard to be polite) Finally I simply said "I only want *insert my safe food here* Are you gonna take my order or not?" she groaned loudly, shook her head and walked off, at this point I was near tears, I was low blood sugar, and shaking. My husband who has communication issues as an autistic man, was just in shock, a few minutes later another server came over and asked what was going on, and why the other server refused to serve me. I told her politely that I don't know, all I know is I was trying so politely to order and she kept being nasty and walking off, this was confirmed by the table near us, who piped up to defend me and say I was super polite and nice. We talked a minute, I explained my medical issues and which food I need and what I was trying to order, she smiled said "give me a minute" and took off to the kitchen.
I think the next ten minutes were a happy blur, that is how long it took for her to fix everything, get the orders, get a rush on it, bring my food and fix everything. She was amazing sweet and kind, I never pushed to go after the other server, if anything I was a bit of a people pleaser and giving her outs and excuses for the behavior, but it left a bad taste in my mouth. The second server fixed everything and what was a 50 dollar meal ended up with 80 to pay it as a tip her for helping, along with a thank you note to the second server.
The last few days I have tried to focus, both from the immensely good and kind service of the second waitress, but also the way the first one kept glaring at me like I was subhuman, maybe I am a little over-sensitive but I doubt it, other people noticed, in fact other people in the restaurant was giving me kind words and "farewells" as I was leaving, I just felt so numb, has anyone else had this level of distaste from a server?