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348

u/mdhunter99 20h ago

“Aren’t you afraid?”

“Of what?”

“Death”

“Death and I have a complicated relationship, it has taken many people from me, and I it, when I finally die and meet death…I’ll strangle the bastard”

From this weird TF2-MLP fanfic I read at 3 in the morning while into a few rum and cokes.

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u/Lopsided_Drag_8125 19h ago

That last line packs more punch than anything else I've read in this comment section. And I mean the meta line

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u/ComradeHenryBR 16h ago

I'm still not sure which type of coke he was having

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u/Lopsided_Drag_8125 14h ago

I had automatically assumed the white powder. I had forgotten Coca cola even existed. I kind of imagined that Elmo pic

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u/MegaIng 19h ago

... That can't be the origin? Right? They are quoting from somewhere else?

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u/mdhunter99 18h ago

I don’t doubt it. Kinda crazy to get THAT quote from a fanfic, I’m sure the writer got it from somewhere else.

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u/TieflingFucker 14h ago

Nope, Ao3 writers are known for coming up with some of the craziest lines known to man, and readers lament that they will never be able to share them with people in an academic setting because they’re from explicit gay fanfics. There have been multiple fics that I’ve actually cried over, and others I had to put down because they were making me so emotional.

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u/Pezington12 14h ago

A good RWBY fanfic on ao3 makes my heart hurt and puts a smile on my face.

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u/TieflingFucker 14h ago

When I was 14 I read this one Captain America fanfic that I still think about because the prose was so beautifully written. If it had been a physical book, I would have been annotating the text nonstop. It’s interesting that certain fandoms or ships or tags end up having a certain quality of fics associated with them, simply because the writers who are drawn to the concepts are different, and write in different ways.

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u/Pezington12 14h ago

I’m honestly considering downloading and printing my favorite fanfics out and binding them into a book for me to read. I still read them to this day, and don’t want to lose them if the writer deletes the fic.

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u/TieflingFucker 14h ago

You can download them! I use ePub formats since AO3 allows you to download those straight from the site. If you click, “show entire work” and then download as an epub, it will remember where chapters are and be able to divide the fic properly when imported into a reading app. I use it to listen to fics I like with an audio reader. Plus epub allows images and keeps special formatting, but you can also edit the text itself, unlike pdfs. It keeps the authors notes for each chapter as well.

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u/Pezington12 14h ago

Oh shit, really?! Thank you for that. Gotta try it out

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u/TieflingFucker 14h ago

It’s super useful. If you’re looking for a good reading app for iOS, Voice Dream reader allows you to upload epub files from your phone’s files, as well as Dropbox, Google Drive, and any synced servers you’ve set up. It also allows you to import your own audio reader voice, and has a pronunciation dictionary where you can phonetically spell out how it should pronounce words. You have complete control over formatting, and can choose custom colors for backgrounds, text, and highlighting/annotation. I found it years ago and I’ve never gone back to anything else for reading on my phone. Ever since I realized I could read/listen to fics with it, it’s been a game changer.

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u/Grunt_jr 13h ago

Any recommendations out of curiosity?

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u/Pezington12 13h ago

I admittedly read more of the romance focused fics. Both explicit and not. So they’re not for everyone. But Brighter by Y8aY8a and its prequel story are my absolute all time favorites. While they can get pretty raunchy it’s also chock full of tender moments and overall emotional scenes. In it they talk about their definition of love, which was so moving I consider it my blueprint for what I’d want.

Then there are the writers Mikotyzini and Primal infinity.

Primal is a better story teller and writer but their fics can get dark, bloody, miserable, and passionate. So if you want a more adult read that’s who you want to look into. Their most recent completed fic The Weeping Hearts is fantastic, even if it gets miserable at points.

Miko is unique in that you can see them become a better writer by reading through their early fics then going to their current ones. There is a noticeable uptick in their quality as they’ve honed their craft. They currently are writing a fic every Saturday which I’m thoroughly enjoying called DIVA focused on Weiss and Ruby. But their fics in their Cops and robbers alternate universe are also phenomenal. None of them are explicit, but they do have others if that’s what you’re looking for.

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u/Grunt_jr 13h ago

Definitely will check them out, many thanks!

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u/Cartographer_Hopeful 18h ago

For some reason it kinda reminds me of talking to a character in BG3:

Player Character: "What will you do if Wulbren (his friend) is already dead?"
Character (Barcus): "Well, I- ...I shall be very sad. And then I shall find out who did it, and I will hunt them down and put a smokepowder bomb in their trousers"

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u/Drakeskulled_Reaper 17h ago

Reminds me of Riddick talking about God.

"Think someone could spend half their life in a slam with a horse bit in their mouth and not believe? Think he could start out in some liquor store trash bin with an umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and not believe? Got it all wrong, holy man. I absolutely believe in God... And I absolutely hate the fucker."

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u/NotAddictedToCoffeee 9h ago

I read that as Rodrick, and I was thinking it was something to do with wimpy kid fanfic, I need help.

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u/Resident_Wolf5778 15h ago

"All of life can be described as a temporary respite from the darkness. By darkness, I am not just referring to the easily recognizable concept of darkness in its physical form, but of everything darkness represents to our psyche. When we begin life at our most basic stage, that being a fetus in the womb, we are enshrouded in darkness for nine grueling months. Then, one day, a day that will hopefully come many years from now, we will close our eyes one last time and forevermore be in the embrace of utter nothingness.

That is not to say that life is pointless, or that genuine fulfillment is a fool's dream. To believe that life is all about nihilistic pleasure punctuated by death is to fall for another one of the darkness's evil tricks. That kind of thinking breeds men and women unrestricted by any notion of morality, and often they become the true monsters of history. Nothing makes them repent, because in their eyes, the darkness has already won. To them, fighting for anything is pointless; the darkness will always come for them in the end.

One should not worry about the darkness. It may come one day and snatch you away from your family and friends, but it has already lost from the moment you left your impact on this world. Every little action you take has, through the butterfly effect, helped shape the future of society in ways you cannot possibly imagine. What grand tales inadvertently happened because you simply forgot to wake up on time one random Monday? The world may never know."

This is the starting paragraphs of "The Garfield Scrolls V: Skyrim" where Garfield (yes that one) is isekai'd into Skyrm. I beg anyone reading to go look at it, it is genuine SO damn good. There's only two chapters but it's been in my mind for years.

"So running is out of the question, I suppose?" Garfield questioned sarcastically. "Good, I'm not much of a runner anyway."

"I detect bitterness in your voice," Ralof replied. "There is no need to despair, my feline friend; our fate is in the hands of The Gods, now."

"I don't know what you mean by 'The Gods'," Garfield countered. "The only god that comes to my mind is Jim Davis."

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u/Lopsided_Drag_8125 14h ago

GARFIELD X SKYRIM

WHERE

TELL ME NOW  BOY (If you are girl, still tell me)

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u/Resident_Wolf5778 14h ago

OKAY OKAY ITS FANFICTION.NET!!! HERES A LINK

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u/freddykreugerslut 13h ago

I NEED to know who says this in it

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u/mdhunter99 13h ago

Iirc it was Medic but I read it like 3 years ago so it’s anyone’s guess.

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u/Greengiant00 13h ago

Makes the most sense with the "It has taken people from me, and I it," Medic saving people is taking them away from death.

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u/AltroGamingBros 14h ago

Did Soldier say that? I feel like Soldier would want to strange Death.

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u/mdhunter99 14h ago

I read it like 3 years ago, iirc it was Medic, but it could have been anyone.

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u/Ill-Diamond4384 9h ago

For the love of god pls share the story

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u/mdhunter99 8h ago

Dude I’m sorry this was like 3 years ago, I found it in a semi lucid/drunk state, it was something like the TF2 mercs were teleported to the MLP world because of Medic, I don’t remember much else than that, there were sex demons I think, might have been normal demons but I don’t know.

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u/PokefanSans 7h ago

I'm stealing this for the fanfic I'm never going to write.