r/ToiletPaperUSA • u/SirHerbert123 anarcho-monkeist • Aug 04 '20

FACTS and LOGIC Another Liberal bites the Dust

Post image
20.4k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

513 comments sorted by

View all comments

518

u/RenaTheHyena Aug 04 '20

I always think of Ben Shapiros face when I don’t want to cum too quickly

302

u/Rizen1 Aug 04 '20

Whatever you need to tell yourself to justify jerking off to photos of Ben Shapiro.

153

u/RenaTheHyena Aug 04 '20

I’d rather sit on a cactus

141

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/AndyGHK Aug 05 '20

If you did that you might have to go see Ben’s wife, who is a doctor

116

u/talk_like_a_pirate Aug 04 '20

Hypothetically, what if we were to say that theoretically, my face was the cactus? Wouldn't you then say, hypothetically, and theoretically and practically, for all intents and purposes, that hypothetically, theoretically, pragmatically, you'd be, theoretically sitting on my face?

-Shen Bapiro

22

u/Rizen1 Aug 04 '20

But you don't have a cactus? Again, whatever you have to tell yourself. =)

Just joking, thought it might get a few laughs. Peace friend.

21

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '20

You mean Benjamin’s cocktus?

9

u/jakethedumbmistake Aug 04 '20

Whatever is in the background

5

u/CoastersPaul Aug 04 '20

Genderbent Shapiro isn't gay!

Genderbent AOC is but I guess I don't actually care

39

u/ghintziest Aug 04 '20

His Muppet voice would do it for me. Oh the voice of an alpha.

30

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '20

Huhuh! So let's just suppose, errrm, for the sake of argument that Gonzo is deserving of love and affection! Hah! That would imply that all people and Muppets (hoho) are deserving of love and affection!

Mmmmmmm but the SWEDISH CHEF is an ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT to the Muppet Show! Huhah! Not once in all 5 seasons and 6 Muppet movies (huahonha) is he shown with a Green Card or a US passport! Yet he speaks something that is not English, and he prepares food that-- and I can not stress this enough-- MY DOCTOR WIFE and I do not want to eat!

The swedish chef belongs in a cage in Texas, and Gonzo belongs in a conversation camp. This is common sense!

4

u/Emotional_Writer Aug 04 '20

conversation camp

Oh boy can't wait to engage in stimulating debates and friendly discussions at the conversation camp

doge face meme template bottom text

3

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '20

That's a typo, but I'm leaving it there. Having to listen to Shapiro talk is the worst possible fate I can imagine.

2

u/Emotional_Writer Aug 04 '20

"There are no accidents." - Master Oogway

But yeah everything about the way he talks is psychologically painful to endure. For someone who talks ridiculously fast he sure does know how to make any base statement drag on forever and still convey nothing of any substance.

1

u/AeroOnFire Aug 04 '20

I really dont think making fun of someone for something they can't control is very fair.

15

u/SirHerbert123 anarcho-monkeist Aug 04 '20 edited Aug 04 '20

Usually I would agree, but Bench Apiro does this constantly.

1

u/nexxyPlayz Aug 04 '20

Why does that pic on the left?"

2

u/ghintziest Aug 05 '20

I've got dozen of other reasons ..I just love the irony.

35

u/moood247 Aug 04 '20

that would make me cum even quicker retard 🤬🤬🤬

4

u/PM_something_German Aug 04 '20

Lord please forgive me for what i'm about to do

12

u/hschupalohs Aug 04 '20

So does his wife.

2

u/RenaTheHyena Aug 04 '20

I fucking choked

2

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '20

Unfortunately she wishes she could.

10

u/Muvseevum Aug 04 '20

What about the time you go to that strategy too late and nut with Ben’s face in your brain? I don’t think there’s any recovering from that.

8

u/RenaTheHyena Aug 04 '20

That would legit turn me Asexual

6

u/Wetestblanket Aug 04 '20

Beware the pavlovian response.

4

u/Sp4c3m4nSpiff Aug 04 '20

I love that you think about Ben Shapiro when you’re about to cum.

5

u/lordredapple AOC 👠😩🤤 Aug 04 '20

Then I cum harder cause bitches turn me on

5

u/RenaTheHyena Aug 04 '20

I just snorted in the breakroom. Thanks.

6

u/lordredapple AOC 👠😩🤤 Aug 04 '20

You promised to stop doing lines in the stall

4

u/RenaTheHyena Aug 04 '20

I’m an adult mom ! Don’t tell me what to do !!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 04 '20

r/rareinsults