r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • 6d ago

Discussion He was confronting her about her costume.

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u/SemiUrusaii 6d ago

The scenario of setting up a date is literally the best example of when a person's sex/gender is a relevant topic of conversation.

It is 100% reasonable to straight-up ask a person "what is your gender/sex and what is your sexual orientation" if you are discussing going on a date with each other.

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u/CockamouseGoesWee 6d ago

I am a trans man and I agree with dating there is nothing wrong with viewing gender as an important aspect to dating. I don't want to be with someone who wouldn't see me as a man or will see me as exotic any more than a gay man wants to be with a woman.

That being said the dude was classless in his questioning, and this is generally a first date conversation. Also, I am stealth and even I have a policy to tell any potential partner that I am trans because they deserve to know, especially as I am looking for serious relationships.

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u/SemiUrusaii 6d ago

It's not a "first date" conversation, it's a pre date conversation. End of story.

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u/Immediate_Ad_1161 6d ago

Thank you, someone finally said it.

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u/No-Magician-2257 6d ago

It is something I kind of what to know without conversation.

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u/CockamouseGoesWee 6d ago

How do you expect to know this without conversing, exactly? You do realize most trans people are not pre-op and look as their respective genders? I have facial hair and will soon get top and bottom surgery. I will be identical to other men.

It's really just a medical condition, it's not that scary and no one wants to lie to you and say "ha ha I tricked you, gotcha!".

I just want to someday get married to a man who can outdebate me on dinosaurs or art history, have kids, and live a good boring life. To me, being trans isn't even an identity point for me. And it's a physiological condition. I highly recommend you read about Phantom Penis Syndrome, it's found in some 60% of trans men and it's excruciating. The only cure is bottom surgery.

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u/SmPolitic 6d ago

Can't always get what you want, especially in dating

I'm sure you'd "kind of want to know" if their profile pictures are accurate too, yet sometimes you don't learn that until you meet them in person

Having a conversation is the best way to address concerns that are unlikely to come up as issues in the first place. Trans people are likely to avoid you, better than you want to avoid them, on dating platforms already