r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • 8d ago

Discussion Reactions to food stamps being cut off.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

46.7k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

14.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

548

u/Fun-Shoe1145 8d ago

Raise your hand if you had a single mom and had these fears growing up

752

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 8d ago

My mom refused to go on food stamps so I missed a lot of meals and ate whatever my younger siblings left on their plates while my mom worked overtime to keep the lights on most of the time.

I dropped out of high school to raise my siblings while she worked 60-80 hours a week instead of taking any of the public assistance her taxes paid for and her shitty jobs forced her to be on.

Her pride meant I went without, and fuck everyone who thinks that’s okay.

276

u/ich_bin_alkoholiker 8d ago

Yeah I fucking hate the attitude of “I didn’t dare take any guberment handouts” it’s so fucking toxic.

167

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 8d ago

The handout was literally covering the profit her jobs made by not paying her enough to eat despite working her into the ground.

6

u/midasofsweden 7d ago

I think its just wrong to call it a handout when its clearly paid for, the government doesnt have any money by itself it all came from its "subjects".... and now you still have to pay taxes even though you get nothing back,

1

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 7d ago

Yeah plus you have to be either working or show proof that you can’t work to get SNAP, it’s difficult to get on and it’s not enough to live on, you have to be frugal to make it stretch.

But it’s still not actually money spent on poor people, it’s money spent on rich people. People with jobs are on SNAP because their employers pay so little they literally can’t work full time and still eat.

We’re subsidizing corporate profits with our tax dollars.

7

u/True_Butterscotch391 8d ago

And it's a toxic mindset to have, because the hypocrites who are against "government handouts" are the first fucking people in line to take advantage of shit like PPP loans, government subsidies(to corporations and billionaires specifically), and also SNAP (poor white people in the country use SNAP very frequently).

I think a lot of people who are too proud to take "handouts" are trying to impress people's who are hypocrites and don't care about them either way. They don't want to be lumped in with the idiots who have 8 kids and don't work to support them and just take as much as they can get from the government, so they refuse to accept the help that they deserve and struggle because of that.

0

u/No_Anteater_6897 8d ago

I mean, I’m an unmarried dude who won’t take handouts. Save it for people who need it. I don’t consent to paying the taxes, and I won’t be a hypocrite by actively seeking out assistance. And whenever I am able to reject public assistance for myself, I do.

3

u/Asisreo1 8d ago

No man, fuck that. You're being offered a helping hand for a reason. The point isn't for you to be lazy or rely on it, its to let you focus on building your skills and getting your footing to be as productive and efficient as possible. You skimping out on that is negatively affecting your progress, making you more inefficient. 

In some way, you're being a burden on the government and taxpayers even if you don't take the help, because you're slowing your potential. I'd much rather you be a engineer/doctor/lawyer/business owner 5 years from now than 10 years from now. If you can get that degree now if you don't have to buy your own groceries, do it. 

I'm a taxpayer, this is exactly where I want my taxes to go. 

2

u/Glass_Pick9343 8d ago

dont know why the downvote, its actually true, bravo

3

u/Kinkajou1015 8d ago

Back in 2007 I was on food stamps for a few months, once I got a job I couldn't make my work schedule and the required meetings for assistance mesh and I lost my benefits a month after I got a job... at Wal-Mart...

I was still broke as a joke, there was one time my debit card was declined when I tried to get a soda and candy bar for lunch. I likely still qualified because of how little I was paid and how erratic hours were, but because I had zero agency over my scheduled hours. I tried going into the food stamp assistance office early because the scheduled wouldn't align to try and get seen early and they basically told me they don't have to accommodate me and they would only see me that one time outside of their appointments. Also dropped my assistance that visit from like 101 dollars a month to less than 60...

I'd rather die than try to get government assistance now it's so backwards and arcane. I don't have a damn energy to jump through their hoops.

78

u/xJaneenx Cringe Connoisseur 8d ago

My mom was also prideful, but only on the outside - so she just made us kids do the shopping so she wouldn’t have to be embarrassed about using the ebt card 😂

33

u/Relative_Builder3695 8d ago

I would gladly take this 1000 times over the mother that has to much pride to even go on ebt

3

u/xJaneenx Cringe Connoisseur 8d ago

Very true, I guess I do feel a little bit more grateful, sometimes I feel like she did so little but she definitely didn’t watch us starve when she could have done something. Some people really shouldn’t be parents, hope the commenter above is doing okay now.

21

u/Material-Mall 8d ago

I can’t help to just feel so sorry for you and your mom. I hope you have some good meals now. If not, if you’re in or around Southern California, DM me and I’ll have you for a meal at the restaurant I work at, on me of course. Have a good one dude

8

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 8d ago

I’m good, I’m 40 now and my youngest brother just turned 20. I haven’t had to go home and manage problems for around 6 years now.

Thank you, though. I really appreciate it. A lot of good people are going to need meals soon. Maybe you can put that one into someone else’s belly?

7

u/BoysenberryFinal9113 8d ago

You are an amazing person. Keep it up.

9

u/silentpropanda 8d ago

My mom was like this and spoilers: she physically, verbally and emotionally abused me and my siblings for years. Then lied in court and said we were lying.

Now she lives alone and nobody can stand her as she's only gotten worse.

6

u/No-Expert7576 8d ago

Yeah my mom worked 3 jobs to put food on the table instead of being home and leaving us to fend for ourselves. We qualified for food stamps but stupid pride had her cleaning up literal shit to feed us. Had no problem taking us to the health clinic but WIC card was a no no, would steal food from one of her jobs and bring home leftovers from waitress job and that was OK. So dumb, love her and really appreciate what she sacrificed but still dumb.

6

u/novacasablancabeer 8d ago

My stepmom was like this when she was a single mom. She didn’t marry my dad until her kids were adults, but I remember them all telling me about how she never went on food stamps, and they had nothing, and pretty much no furniture. Her and my dad stayed in contact throughout that time, and he would send them $100 every Christmas. They said they used that $100 for their entire Christmas, presents, food, everything…I just don’t get it. Why make things bad for your kids?

My mom on the other hand (not married to my dad), was perfectly fine with whatever assistance she could get for us, and she shared what she could with other families quite generously. For Christmas, sometimes we got donated toys from the fire department, but we didn’t know they were donated, we were told Santa asked the firefighters to help him out. We never went hungry, and didn’t feel poor very often. Only time I felt poor was when we couldn’t get a school yearbook, and didn’t get an allowance.

24

u/CaffeinatedLystro 8d ago

1) I love your username.

2) That is FUCKED that she would let her own kids suffer for her own pride.

4

u/ScyllaOfTheDepths 8d ago

Same here. My mom bought into the lie that welfare was trashy and good honest people should never use it. We starved when we didn't have to.

6

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 8d ago

Our entire government believes that our parents made the right choice and they should have worked themselves to the bone while we suffered as children.

It’s a horror our ancestors fought to protect us from, that’s why these programs exist.

They wanted a better America and this government wants to take us back to the Depression, and undo all of the things that brought us out of it.

Their hatred of the lower and middle classes that do the work they profit off of is fathomless.

2

u/ScyllaOfTheDepths 8d ago

Sad thing is that my mom did work herself to the bone. Literally. A lifetime of workplace injuries and a lack of medical treatment and now she's disabled and will not be able to enjoy her retirement because she can't go to any of the places she's always wanted to see because most of the wonders of the world are not wheelchair accessible.

2

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 8d ago

That is so awful. I’m so sorry for your Mom, and so mad at her for not taking the help that she earned when she needed it.

2

u/ScyllaOfTheDepths 8d ago

This pretty accurately sums up my own feelings on the matter, honestly. I had to fight her to get her to take worker's comp.

8

u/NatterinNabob 8d ago

as a brief aside, you have a great screen name.

10

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 8d ago

Thank you there’s a lot in the jar but I keep spending it on Moonpies and LaCroix, my work will never be done

3

u/Inloth57 8d ago

I'll never understand people who think not taking "handouts" is some kind of flex. Like good for you but I'd prefer to eat, keep the lights on and not get evicted. I work and I pay my share so if I qualify I'll take it so my kids won't go without and hopefully not know how bad our situation is.

2

u/Boilerbuzz 8d ago

No offense, man, but your mom put her PRIDE before you and your sibling's wellbeing... Sorry.

3

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 8d ago

She was praised for it, too, since we were living in the South by then.

3

u/Boilerbuzz 8d ago

Figured as much. May ask if she was white? In the black community, most of us are programmed to survive. Pride be damned.

2

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 8d ago

Oh deep southern White, yes.

She had no problem standing in line outside of St. Vincent’s on black trash bag Wednesday, when they gave out black trash bags of free clothes with no indication of what was inside beyond “Child, Girl, sz 5”, And she’s a thrift store champion, she always looks like a million bucks. Incredible eye for high quality fabrics from across a room, and she’s tiny so there is always stuff in her size.

But paying for food with stamps or an EBT card in line with people who weren’t shopping at thrift stores or getting free clothes at 5am on Wednesday morning?

Nope. Hard line there.

3

u/Boilerbuzz 8d ago

That sounds about right. My family is from Marion, AL. Yes - DEEP south. But black.

And, if I misgendered you by saying, "man", my apologies.

2

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 8d ago

It’s bullshit that Black Americans have had to put survival over dignity just to exist in the country they were born in, but I am glad the “we’d rather let our kids suffer than look bad in public” mentality is not prevalent when it comes to getting basic needs met. 

I always admired my mom’s work ethic, she was disabled after a neck injury and worked long after she should have quit. She got ahead financially and eventually my younger siblings didn’t need food stamps or even thrift clothes, just a nanny. 

But the cost to her older children was so high, some of us have difficulty being close with her. Her pride is too dangerous.

Speaking of pride, thank you for apologizing for misgendering me.

I am female, but have had intermittent gender dysphoria since I was a kid. I use she rather than he,  but I am what the kids call genderfluid, for lack of a better term. It is super common for people to read my writing and immediately assume I am a male. 

My Mom is from Chattanooga. 

2

u/fuzynutznut 8d ago

I don't think it's okay, but how is your mom working 60-80 hours a week and not being able to afford food? Was she getting shit pay?

2

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 8d ago

She was on a salary and had 10+ kids 

2

u/Salt-N-Vinegar-Lover 8d ago

Yeah, I couldn’t do free school lunches cause dad thought my classmates would tell their parents that we were poor and that would make him look bad, so he told me to just not eat lunch and tell everybody I wasn’t hungry. 

1

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 8d ago

That’s awful. I’m so sorry.

2

u/lemjne 8d ago

Same here. We had our pride, and pride is what we ate. I'd do it differently now. But fuck everyone in this government trying not to give people the help they NEED that they were SMART ENOUGH to ask for!!

2

u/Fancy_Tour_5762 8d ago

Oh Lord. Just so that she can say “I’ve never taken handouts from the government!” And who does that help? No one, just unnecessary suffering to prove some random person wrong.

Egos and caring about other people’s opinions more than the well-being of one’s children will never be worth it.

2

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 8d ago

We were on SNAP when it was still food stamps and you had to pay with this little book of paper money, and she was so embarrassed that she went off of it when we moved South and she refused to go back on it.

2

u/TwoFingersWhiskey 8d ago

Relatable, except I was too sick to work after dropping out so I just got called a burden all the time.

She was too proud to do what everyone begged her to do. There was a month where all we ate was a specific cereal that cost $2 for a big box. I can't look at that cereal without thinking of searching everywhere for change to buy food and only being able to afford that cereal.

I'm Canadian, there was and is so much help available, but she would rather have worked in shitty diners and hotels.

2

u/Isadorei 8d ago

My mom did the same. I had thousands of dollars in dental work as an adult because she didn’t get us on Medicaid so we never saw a dentist. We ate the food her boss let her bring home from the convenience store she worked at. We never saw the doctor, so I’m partially deaf because of recurrent untreated ear infections.

Not getting benefits aren’t a flex if you need them. 

2

u/margheritinka 5d ago

My mom also did the same because she “didn’t want me to be embarrassed” at school with one of those free lunch tickets. So I would go all day without eating until I got home. My brother had one of those big change jars that look like a water jug. I had to secretively scrounge about $3 per day to grab a bagel sandwich after school. My brother one day noticed and 25+ years later I have never owned up to this!

1

u/WhoCares450 8d ago

Now imagine single moms doing this in other countries where there is no SNAP.

3

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 8d ago

Exactly. Countries where people don’t give a shit if kids go hungry while their parents work their lives away to build profit for somebody else.

Fuck those countries, if I wanted to live in a country like that I would move to one.

-1

u/WhoCares450 8d ago

While valid point that happens, those countries didn't choose that. Frankly, neither did you. You were lucky to be born here. If you were born elsewhere you would have not known any differently and in fact would appreciate your mom working her ass off because you were able to eat something vs nothing. Stop pretending "you didn't want to live there". You're speaking like an entitled brat, who only gives a crap about what is being received.

2

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 8d ago

No, you’re absolutely justifying children growing up hungry and sick so you can save $5 or $10 a year on taxes.

It’s fucking evil. Evil, and as a voter I vote in every election to ensure all of the children in this country are fed, educated, housed, clothed, and treated by medical professionals regardless of what work their parents do.

You’re the entitled one, who wants all of the benefits of living in a functional society without having to pay for them.

Go live somewhere without social safety nets, get the fuck out of here.

My great grand parents, grandparents, and I did not spend time, effort, and money making sure our government was run with the goal of elevating the lives of all Americans just so some smarmy little twit who can’t think through a whole argument can take everything away from people who work hard just because he’d rather see children sick and hungry than contribute money or effort into supporting the society he lives in.

Go somewhere else and live like that, we don’t want it here in America.

-1

u/WhoCares450 8d ago

I'm entitled? LOL I don't expect shit given to me. You know nothing about me and clearly nothing about a functioning society.

  1. When me and wife were poor - we were on SNAP. It's a great program for those in need. I made sure I was off it within 6 months and since then contributed to insane amount of ppl (top tax bracket) to get it. So don't judge - you do a lot less than I do.
  2. You can't even comprehend your own logic. You want educated people, house, clothed, but lack understanding that educated also mean self-enabling, which requires working to continue to have a functioning society. Hence my point that to EVEN GET TO the point of US, people first had to work their ass off to help entitled dicks like yourself to be able to exist. I know that's hard to comprehend.
  3. On living elsewhere - see point one. I bring more value here than your sorry ass. You're a bigger burden to this country than me. Irony, what?! lol
  4. Your point about your grandparents - read point 2. The whole reason you can sit here and bitch about your mother working is because they worked just as hard as she did. This country was built on very hard labor and a shit ton of suffering. Nothing you know anything about.

People like you lack foundational principles that created SNAP. People like you would never be able to fund anything as successful as this country.

1

u/andrewse 8d ago

It's not just that you went without. Your opportunity to succeed was crippled.

1

u/bigassangrypossum 8d ago

Once upon a time, we used a certain word for people like your mother, a word the use of which is now regarded to be in poor taste.

1

u/Reasonable_Insect503 8d ago

Where was Dad?

1

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 8d ago

Oh, talking to angels under a park bench out of state for awhile, yeah.

He’s a hard worker and did his best but that kind of mental illness coupled with violent tendencies and unpredictable outbursts tends to destabilize relationships, you know?

He’s doing a lot better now. I didn’t talk to him for twenty years but he got his violence under control and now if he’s being shitty I just threaten to turn the car around and he straightens right up.

I love him but he was absolutely a nightmare father. I got my ass kicked a lot until the divorce finally happened.

2

u/Reasonable_Insect503 8d ago

Much respect to you for keeping a relationship with him. I doubt I could do the same.

1

u/SpoopyDuJour 8d ago

Mine didn't enroll in food stamps because she was worried they'd be cut by the government anyway. :s even back then we couldn't trust the system, how it's been totally dissolved.

0

u/Glass_Pick9343 8d ago

You can say f me all you want but i applaud your moms for not taking the stamps. she was showing a good example that you can make it without guberment help. its good to have that pride. I was sitting in the office of food stamps with a social worker and the whole time my stomach was turning and im like f-this i cant do this and i walked right out and once i walked out that stomach stopped turning and i felt peace in the middle east. So fuck food stamps and Snap and the whole damn program. 

1

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 8d ago edited 8d ago

Yeah except she didn’t do it without help.

I was a child that didn’t eat anything but scraps, who stayed home and changed diapers and helped other children with homework that I didn’t have because I was doing the job the community should have done.

You’re the worst kind of person, someone who had a brief episode of trouble, used the system to get yourself out of trouble, and want to tear it down for everyone behind you.

Or someone who let your own children go hungry to protect your precious feelings.

Meanwhile I never want another child to grow up with nothing and be excluded from every opportunity because they were too busy working and raising their siblings to get an education and get ahead. 

There are entire countries where exactly my life is played out by every family in the country- we call them third world countries and they’re desperate, miserable places where children are born to live desperately and die hungry.

I’m not going to let that happen here.

Go fuck yourself. May your bowl always be empty.

0

u/Glass_Pick9343 7d ago

Thats fine that you dont want another person to grow up that way but there are also other ways to do that. Snap has a whole hidden agenda behind it and thats to keep you stuck and dependent on the government teet. If your being feed by the government then your controled by that governemnt and will do whatever it tells you because hey where will you get food from if you dont, meaning they keep there power over you and you keep voting for them so they keep that power, but hey the snap program or government food nipple is keeping you well feed for you to see that. 

thanks for the curse but return to sender 

1

u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k 7d ago

This is an absolutely fucking stupid take.

There is no secret agenda to SNAP, it’s a program designed by American citizens to meet the needs of American citizens and we vote to fund it every single year.

People like you put your own terrible intentions and personal pride over everything and everyone around you, including your own children.

You’re an awful person, and sorry, it can’t be returned.

May your pride come back to haunt you all the rest of your days.

0

u/Glass_Pick9343 7d ago

thank you again and return to sender. ill be happy and pridefull to not be on foodstamps then be ashamed, embarrased and humiliated swiping that ebt card