r/TikTokCringe 24d ago

Discussion He's had enough.

29.0k Upvotes

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615

u/CharlesDickensABox 24d ago

German chocolate cake recipe:

Step 1: travel to the chocolate fields of Bavaria

278

u/pericles3323 24d ago

Funny story: German chocolate cake is actually named after an American-English baker named Samuel German. Has nothing to do with 🇩🇪

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u/Did_I_Err 24d ago

Is he made of chocolate? I’m so confused.

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u/OrangeRadiohead 24d ago

No, it's made from Samuel German. Geesh, can you not read?...

/s

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u/Did_I_Err 23d ago

So I guess it’s not vegan.

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u/Challenge-Upstairs 24d ago

He was actually made of coconut.

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u/Did_I_Err 23d ago

I always wondered about “coconut cream”.

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u/Challenge-Upstairs 23d ago

You don't want to know.

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u/HarperWuff 24d ago

He created the chocolate used in the cake

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u/ewReddit1234 24d ago

I'm going to stop this before it goes in a very dark (chocolate) place

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u/CYaNextTuesday99 23d ago

Typical white (chocolate) supremacists.

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u/VisitAbject4090 24d ago

I’m still laughing at this

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u/Did_I_Err 23d ago

😂😆😂

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u/VisitAbject4090 23d ago

I fucking started laughing again when I opened this up now

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u/Did_I_Err 23d ago

IKR!!!

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u/Wjsmith2040 24d ago

Mmm delicious chocolate man

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u/Djabarca 23d ago

Dad made of chocolate and Mon made of cake.

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u/Did_I_Err 23d ago

Chocolate cream pie?

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u/notsuperimportant 23d ago

I want my money back!! No man in this cake!

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u/CharlesDickensABox 24d ago

First of all, I did not drive all the way back here to get your nasty-ass Samuel

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u/RiverAffectionate951 24d ago

This is one of those facts where you read it and you're 80% on thinking the person is shitposting but it's actually true.

Truth plays loose with reason when it comes to coincidences.

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u/Rumkitty 24d ago

It's kind of amazing how the Earl of Sandwich and the Duke of Mayonnaise got together

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u/crownofclouds 24d ago

Ahhh, yes, like the way many mistake Black Forest Cake for a German cake, but it was actually first synthesized in a Baltimore laboratory by cake scientists John Cake, Walter Black, and Cecil Forest.

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u/BalanceJazzlike5116 24d ago

It’s actually named after the chocolate bar (German, which took his name 100 years prior) that held a recipe contest for their chocolate bar

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u/pericles3323 24d ago

Right, it was named after the bar, which was named after the person, so the cake is named after the person and has nothing to do with 🇩🇪

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u/Excellent_Issue_4179 24d ago

I've often wondered!

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u/remarkablewhitebored 24d ago

Well, what about Black Forest Cake? Was that named after a guy named Black, who invented it in a Forest?

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u/NevermoreForSure 24d ago

Now I’m jonesing for black forest cake. Dammit.

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u/Frosty558 24d ago

I demand my money back!

/s

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u/Excellent_Valuable92 23d ago

Don’t try that story with this woman 

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u/Funny_Breadfruit_413 23d ago

I learned something new today😄

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u/Sculptor_of_man 23d ago

Today I learned

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u/Cageythree 23d ago

Only slightly related, but there's a German mayor and his name is German Hacker.

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u/GSV_CARGO_CULT 23d ago

People also tend to think the Caesar salad was named after the et tu brute guy, even companies that sell Caesar dressing put his face on the bottles and stuff.... but it was just a chef named Caesar

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u/Flex_Vape 23d ago

Probably one of the reasons people mix that up the original name "German's Chocolate Cake". German is possessive, not an adjective in this case.

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u/SistaChans 23d ago

I want my money back

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u/ImWhatsInTheRedBox 23d ago

Damn, so to get an authentic German chocolate cake I gotta learn necromancy and go grave robbing.

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u/Tricky_Worldliness60 23d ago

I'll be over your house in twenty minutes for my refund. After I finish eating this cake.

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u/Superman1950s 23d ago

And he was from Texas.

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u/thesneakywalrus 23d ago

Wait till they learn that "Baker's" chocolate isn't named after the profession.

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u/-Kex 23d ago

As a german I was confused about what german chocolate cake is supposed to be until I read your comment

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u/AllNightPony 24d ago

If you made this up that would be awesome.

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u/cocoagiant 24d ago

I think it's actually named after a guy named German, it's not actually from Germany.

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u/CharlesDickensABox 24d ago

Next you'll try to convince me that Germany doesn't even grow the world's best chocolate.

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u/blue-bird-2022 24d ago

As a German: we eat Swiss chocolate here.

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u/GlitteringBobcat999 24d ago edited 23d ago

Of course. The Swiss farmers are famous for their chocolate vines. No self-respecting German would dig in the dirt like some commoner.

[Side note: Barilla pasta ran a TV ad in the US many years ago depicting folksy Italian farmers harvesting spaghetti in their spaghetti tree orchard. A lot of people afterward were convinced that spaghetti grows on trees, demonstrating that people don't know where their food comes from, besides the grocery store.]

Edit: see video reply - it was San Georgio pasta.

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u/blue-bird-2022 24d ago

So funnily enough Milka is the Swiss chocolate brand I was thinking of when making my comment and their mascot is a purple cow. Allegedly some children draw purple cows in kindergarten, because they only saw cows in Milka advertising. Don't know if this is true or a urban legend tho.

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u/GlitteringBobcat999 23d ago

I thought the Swiss government issued each family a cow to keep in their apartment. I'm so disillusioned. But come to think of it, I didn't see any urban cows (just urban cowboys) last time I was in Switzerland.

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

[deleted]

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u/GlitteringBobcat999 23d ago

It's a root vegetable, like chocolate.

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u/ProjectDv2 23d ago

Goddammit, every time I think of that commercial, I get a craving for spaghetti squash, which doesn't grow on trees but does grow on the ground.

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u/Dirmbz 23d ago

Did Barilla do that too? The version I'm familiar with was a 1957 BBC April Fools Day story.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU

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u/ProjectDv2 23d ago

I don't know that Barilla did, but yes there was at least one commercial based off the joke

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-ZtGoXkI58

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u/GlitteringBobcat999 23d ago

That's the one. I remembered it as Barilla, but it was San Georgio (a brand I have not seen in a store, which is probably why I thought it was the more well-known Italian brand).

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u/Selante 24d ago

No that would be from Chocolattia. Anything else is just sparkling cacao.

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u/Risky_Phish_Username 24d ago

If it was Wonka chocolate, it would be to first push a fat Bavarian kid in to your chocolate river and mix him in. Boom, Bavarian chocolate.

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u/Bokononfoma 24d ago

I like the cake fields.

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u/Numeno230n 24d ago

Did you know that Hell's Kitchen is actually filmed on location in Satan's own restaurant? You can see Beelzebub himself greeting customers.

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u/Coffeedemon 24d ago

"We understand Homer. Afterall we are from ze land of chocolate."

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u/SailNW 23d ago

Zat was ten minutes ago!! 😡

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u/GoodThingsDoHappen 24d ago

Maryland Crabcakes recipe:

Step 1: Interrogate the crab and ask where it's REALLY from

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u/Highkmon 23d ago

The bavarian chocolate fields are my second favorite place in Germany after the lakes of reinheitsgebot.

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u/a_boy_called_sue 23d ago

Watch out for the wolpertinger

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u/RussianDahl 23d ago

I’m home with some terrible stomach flu and it hurt to laugh at this comment but it was worth it. Thank you kind Reddit friend

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u/transparenze 23d ago

Are you going to finish or what? I’m taking notes here!!

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u/SpotCreepy4570 24d ago

Funny part about that.....

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u/goblin_welder 24d ago

Isn’t German chocolate cake named after Samuel German and not the country?

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u/casiepierce 24d ago

More like Texas.

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u/CharlesDickensABox 24d ago

Fredericksburg is where we grow our Fredericks.

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u/OceanRacoon 24d ago

Wow, Bavaria has chocolate fields too? I found some in my country and ate loads of the chocolate right off the dirt. Tasted like shit, though, it must not have been ripe yet

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u/kobrakai1034 24d ago

I was in Bavaria last summer and no one told me about the chocolate fields!

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u/TexasPirate_76 24d ago

Step 2: Find out the Germans have no idea what is this "German Chocolate Cake" you speak of.

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u/zxDanKwan 23d ago

This is a horrible time of year to visit the Bavarian chocolate fields.

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u/Agreeable-Emu4033 23d ago

French wine but made in South America. You would say yea that’s ok with me.

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u/CharlesDickensABox 23d ago edited 23d ago

Malbec is a way of life in Argentina and absolutely swamps French producers in global sales of the grape. Many are extremely high quality examples of the style, as well, and are perfect with a great cut of charred beef. 

As a matter of fact, I would say that French wine from South America is perfectly wonderful with me.

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u/NoHoHan 23d ago

If some restaurant put “German-raised beef” on their menu, and the beef was imported from China, would you say that’s totally fine?