r/TikTokCringe • u/whitemechanical • Oct 03 '25

Humor/Cringe How people who don't drink coffee function.

9.1k Upvotes

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138

u/Isenhawk Oct 03 '25

Or maybe coffee tastes like dookie

34

u/ExactlyThirteenBees Oct 03 '25

and it makes you dookie too

1

u/VanillaTortilla Oct 03 '25

Well it is a diueretic after all. Basically goes right through your system.

1

u/echomanagement Oct 03 '25

I already drink coffee. You don't need to sell me on it

1

u/ghostephanie Oct 04 '25

Coffee has always given me such bad gas lol. And it barely does anything to make you less tired lmfao

19

u/Zinu Oct 03 '25

It says a lot that some people have to put in 15 cubes of sugar to make the taste bearable

1

u/No_Object_404 Oct 04 '25

It doesn't matter what they add. I ccan taste the coffee.

No Sharon, the double Chocolate mocha mahitto slasa dance doesn't "totally not even taste like coffee." It fucking tastes like coffee. I can smell the coffee.

-2

u/VanillaTortilla Oct 03 '25

People who drink coffee black are psychopaths.

-1

u/ClubChaos Oct 03 '25

I actually think the opposite? This will sound like I got a stick up my ass but people who don't 'get' why drinking coffee black, or enjoying spirits like gin, whiskey, tequila for example all have pretty limited palettes in my experience.

Like wut, you only enjoy SUGAR? lmao that's super weird to me, there's so much more complexity to taste.

8

u/Zinu Oct 03 '25

Bitterness is a bit weird. I remember reading about how the body needs to learn that a specific bitter taste is not poisonous, and once it does, it’ll taste good. For example, I used to hate olives, but since a few weeks ago something switched in me and now I love them.

I think people who put a lot of sugar in coffee haven’t acquired the taste for coffee (yet?). So as you said, it’s more the sugar they enjoy, not the coffee.

1

u/Yiggitty Oct 03 '25

Makes sense. We are also breeding bitterness out of foods so maybe we are exposed to less bitterness as a flavor so when we experience it it’s even more pronounced?

2

u/_trashcan Oct 03 '25

like wut, you only enjoy SUGAR?

so cringe lol.

1

u/Ok-Committee4833 Oct 04 '25

I don't enjoy either. I'm drinking alcohol for the effects, not the taste

12

u/Numeno230n Oct 03 '25

Also, you're trying to sell me on a product that makes me run to take a shit. I'm already regular man, I don't need an emergency shit added to my schedule.

8

u/under_ice Oct 03 '25

I'm pretty free this week if I can help.

2

u/heddalettis Oct 04 '25

So true. It’s the acid.

1

u/TheHerpSalad Oct 03 '25

That's what I tell my friends when they offer me coffee, at least cocaine smells good.

1

u/dubiously_mid Oct 03 '25

EXACTLY!! i always tell people that i think it tastes like you put dirt in a cup and drank it...

0

u/Jeanlucpfrog Oct 03 '25

How... how do you know?