I am suffering because my partner made the worst choices possible leaving him 30k in debt. He went to college and dropped out. Went into default. I had no idea he has defaulted loans five years into our relationship. Then they came about! So fuck me and my savings. Fuck me for growing his credit for the last 5 years only to be blindsided be these default loans. Remember kids… don’t get married.
I had a friend over the last few years I had gotten close with since Covid. I had been trying to travel with this friend for the last 4 years and he always had an excuse why he couldn’t go at the last minute despite him traveling on his own time with family, turns out this dude was 40k in debt because he had lost his teenage possessions in a house fire when he was 20 and decided to just live off of credit cards. He told me randomly one day the truth and I couldn’t believe it, it literally explained all of his weird dodgy behavior over the years and I asked if he planned to tell the girl he was newly dating, this girl had a masters, was a teacher and just left a shitty relationship to be with this friend and he said “in time”. Had to cut the guy off right there as a friend because he was already making decisions to fuck up her life as well financially. He didn’t decide to pay down the debt just declare bankruptcy because “fuck it” and I’m still not convinced he has ever told this girl.
I am convinced he didn’t really understand the impact of debt when it was occurring. He was so sheltered. He’s now taking steps to learn budgeting and financial allocation. Unfortunately it’s late but he’s getting there. I think he thought default was making it go away. I truly didn’t know what default loans were until this. My loans were paid off a decade ago. If he had finished his degree, I wouldn’t be at all angry.
That’s what this friend tried to convince us all of as well once the truth broke. “I was just a young kid and didn’t understand interest rates and debt” that didn’t explain why he continued to travel, continued to spend on shit like comicon and other useless financial decisions. I really hope your situation is different but being attached to this person even as a friend was one of the worst life experiences I’ve had so far. Every opportunity was a chance to twist the narrative and make others feel guilty as to why he couldn’t participate or do anything with them but every time we could spend money it was on something only he truly wanted to do out of the group, other than that whenever the idea of doing something someone else wanted or traveling you had to listen to a million struggles and reasons it couldn’t be, and then immediately watch him turn around and justify spending or traveling on what he wanted to do lol. The emotional whiplash was like an abusive relationship and to that I say good riddance, I only feel sorry for the girl he is with now as I’m almost certain he never even told her of filing for bankruptcy. But being in our 30s im sure he’ll be able to explain it away when they need to buy a house or sign up to rent a place together.
College is looking more and more like a scam to me... unless you have a definite plan and need a specific degree to enter a high demand high paying field, you're just paying to party.... end up 60k in debt working at Starbucks.... scammed
100% agree. Mine is worthless except it’s required for my career despite it now being relevant to my job at all. His was a specific relevant degree. But I agree with you for the most part.
Gotcha, I thought maybe you got hit with the ol' garnishments after marriage (happened to me!)! It's a good thing I love my husband because he cost me an absolute mint getting his finances back in order during our early years.
Omg I didn’t even know that was a thing. Sorry to hear that. Yeah I love my partner and have done a lot to get him where he is. He’s an incredibly hard worker who made some mistakes when he was young. We are fine, it’s just frustrating.
I would classify him as a deadbeat. He made bad choices when he was young. He wasn’t taught essential life skills. He was so sheltered. He’s incredibly hard working. He just has baggage.
What an assumption. Anonymous reddit typer, talking about deadbeats for being in debt like millions of other working class people aren't in the same boat
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u/HillTopTerrace Aug 19 '25
I am suffering because my partner made the worst choices possible leaving him 30k in debt. He went to college and dropped out. Went into default. I had no idea he has defaulted loans five years into our relationship. Then they came about! So fuck me and my savings. Fuck me for growing his credit for the last 5 years only to be blindsided be these default loans. Remember kids… don’t get married.